Survived My Daughter's Suicide--now Dealing With Son Who Can't Cope.

[mybutterfly]

Hi everyone. I lost my daughter to suicide in Oct 2007. She was 31 at the time and her brother was 26 and thought he could handle anything. Before her death he was a brilliant computer nerd and an awesome salesman who could go anywhere in the world and make friends in an instant. He had a great job and his own business on the side. After her suicide, my son stayed at his job for just a couple months till his one year anniversary so he could get vacation pay and bonuses. He did some traveling, but mostly did a lot of drinking and experimenting with drugs. He's no longer doing drugs and only has an occasional drink, but he hasn't had a job in 5 years. He's been diagnosed as schizophrenic. His mind just "isn't there anymore". Any suggestions?

 

[ms spock]

Hello mybutterfly and Welcome to the Forum,

There are many great people on this forum who have good ideas and are quite compassionate.

Are you seeing a professional therapist at this time? That could be helpful in assisting you to manage the situation with your son. Is he seeing a psychriatrist, taking medication and receiving treatment for his condition?

 

[mybutterfly]

Thanks for your reply Ms Spock. As far as my daughter's suicide is concerned, though I will never "get over it", I have come to terms with it and I am at peace. Taking my son to a professional therapist would be impossible. I am physically disabled, my husband lost his job last month and we have yet to see a penny from unemployment. I don't know how I'm going to pay the mortgage next week, much less the car insurance the week after.

I am doing everything in my power to keep my son AWAY from the psychotropic drugs. After Beth shot herself I needed answers (and I couldn't sleep anyway) so I did an unbelievable amount of research. I am convinced that ultimately it was the psychotropic drugs my daughter was taking that caused her to take her life. I'm determined to keep history from repeating itself with my son.

 

[ms spock]

Was your daughter schizophrenic too? mybutterfly.

 

[mybutterfly]

Beth was doing great through her sophomore year of high school. She was brilliant and in all the advanced classes. Her junior year they cut all the advanced classes and she was bored senseless. She had an English teacher who was deep into the occult and looked for kids like Beth. She offered extra credit for reading and activities that these bright kids might find "more interesting". Beth got totally sucked into the occult, underwent a total personality change and made her first suicide attempt at school. After that she got sucked into the "mental health treatment system" which was just drug after drug. First they called it depression, then bi-polar, then schizo-affective bi-polar. They're all just labels that allow the psychiatrists to get paid for writing out prescriptions. At one point they had her on 12 or 13 different psychotropic drugs. If you dig into the true research on these drugs, the only way they "work" is by causing brain damage to the emotion centers of the brain. I wish I had known then what I know now. I feel like I have lost BOTH of my kids to one suicide.

 

[Ruckster]

Listening

 

[therapybankrupt]

Hi mybutterfly

So sad to hear about your children. I hope you find the information on the forum to help direct your son and maybe just something here for you to! Check out the wiki! Best wishes in your journey!

Tb

 

[Toria]

Hello Mybutterfly and welcome to the Forum. I am so sorry to hear about your daughter and that you feel as if you have lost your son too. As well as the Schizophrenia does he have a diagnosis of PTSD too? If so, there is a Supporters' section - just underneath the general forums - you would be more than welcome there to talk about your Son's diagnosis. There are a lot of Supporters of PTSD Sufferers here and we're a very friendly bunch!

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

 

[Meza]

((((myButterfly)))) So sorry for your loss. And for the effect this has had on your son, perhaps the whole family.

I lost my partner to suicide also in 2007 so I know a little about this. I think all of us changed that day, I know too that for each one of us we dealt with the loss in our own way.

I can understand your anger toward the psychiatric profession. My partner died after he was released from hospital AFTER I involuntarily committed him because he was suicidal. He should never have been released, especially without first consulting with me.

In your daughter's situation it sounds more complex. It is a shame that someone in the mental health field couldn't see this coming. Could not have stopped it. So very sad.

You say that you are disabled and that your husband recently lost his job. These are significant stressors. I discovered that whenever I had to deal with more stress after Laurie's death I felt especially vulnerable.

I hope that this forum will be of some help to you, and be able to provide some solace as well.

My heart goes out to you and to your family.

 

[ms spock]

I wish you well mybutterfly. I hope you find support and solace on this forum.

 

[mybutterfly]

Thanks to all of you. It helps to have a place to go just to unload where people are willing to listen. I feel like I’ve been on my own forever trying to do the impossible.

It took me about 3 years to really get past Beth’s suicide to where I was at peace, and just a few months later my son was forced to move in with me because he can’t hold a job, he has no money and he had run out of friends who were willing to put up with him.

My husband, Tom, was a long-haul trucker, so most of the time it was just James and me here, which was hard enough. Now that Tom has lost his job this tiny little house isn’t big enough for the 3 of us.

James will be 32 this week and used to be fiercly independent, but now I have to tell him what to do and how to do it over and over again just like he was a little kid again.

He’s convinced that the “voices in his head” are being caused by some of my neighbors running signals through his body with some sort of electronic or magnetic gadgets. He had filed complaints with the local police, the CIA, the FCC and anyone else he can think of.

Tom thinks he should just be “locked up in the looney bin” which doesn’t help matters. Even if that was the best solution—which it’s not—the most we could have him put away for is 72 hours because he’s an adult. We could kick him out of our house, but what am I supposed to do? Find him a big cardboard box and a nice spot under the interstate hwy?

He’s my son and I love him and want to help him.