T Is Thinking I Have Bipolar Disorder Too.

[Deleted member 5760]

I absolutely do NOT think you are making things up. That's actually my point. I see a hand going up asking for help for a very legitimate problem and not being seen. No darling, not in any way shape or form am I accusing you of 'making things up'.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Agreed.

But I can't blame people. No one can read my mind. No one knows me better then me.

I just close up. The entire session was how I was a mess this weekend or questions or talking about my childhood. When I was done with the session, I felt like someone had just showed me video of a woman being raped and asked if I minded.

There's more but I can't find the words.

 

[Deleted member 5760]

Ok, well I'm not a doctor. And I am so sorry if anything I have asked you felt intrusive. You posted the other day that you felt angry but you put it into a painting. Things like that are healthy ways of expressing ourselves. I'm not sure if anyone's ever told you that was brave and that was good.

Well, I think it was. I can't really say anything more ((hug))

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

You are fine jen.

Thanks for talking with me. :)

I tried to paint. It didn't work out.

 

[Deleted member 5760]

That's ok. Small steps to healing :)

 

[kers]

When I was done with the session, I felt like someone had just showed me video of a woman being raped and asked if I minded.

I know this feeling. Sometimes I don't realize how harrowing a session is until I've left it, and then it's frustrating and sad because there's no one to help me cope with the fallout of everything that got brought up. It helps me, in a small way, to turn around and go in the next session and start with, "I was so upset after last session. I felt...X, Y, Z." Sometimes all we talk about in that next session is everything that happened in the previous one.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I think I am going to take a leaf out of your book and do that kers. I was planning on not talking, its a lot easier to write. Then I can get it out. Hopefully I wont close up.

 

[Jade-]

Ayesha.....sorry I just now got around to reading this thread.

I'm sorry that what your T. has suggested has got you in such a frenzy. I can't really tell from your posts if you do or don't want the diagnosis. In the beginning of the thread, you sounded frantic and equated bipolar with being crazy. Later threads, it sounds like you're over-analyzing everything you say and do like you're trying to fit the bipolar diagnosis. Don't stress yourself out so much...so what if you do get "the diagnosis". It doesn't change who you are as a person. And we all like/accept you as you are.

Have you read the article "Multiple Diagnosis Labeling With PTSD" on this site? If not, you should. I felt alot better after reading it. I had been thinking "man, I'm a fruit cake." Then when I read the article, I thought, nah, I just have PTSD. You may think the same after reading it.

 

[seedling]

Ayesha, I'm glad you were able to tell your husband and he took it well. If you've had these symptoms before, then you are no different to him now even if you get the new diagnosis.

Take your time to get through this. You have time and support to deal with it as it comes.

Take care.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I am not sure what to think. I am just so mentally tired.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Update (!): Saw my Psychiatrist today. We didn't have to talk very long, with my T talking to him, my family history, reaction to the antidepressant ( and lack of reaction to other antidepressants) and just ME in general, he gave me some mood stabilizers. He is trying to approach my depression "from a different angle". So we will see how this works! I'm hoping it will. I want to start school soon, and I can't if I'm so unstable all the time.