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Talk or don't talk... that's the question

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the person i am talking about, is a professional, but not in that area, she helps me with tbi stuff

It sounds like she is helping you in one area, but not in another area that is also causing you distress. And she is not trained to help, regarding the things that you have disclosed to her, but she wants you to keep talking to her and make a safety plan, because she is concerned that you are in crisis. Conversely, you are concerned that the things you are disclosing to her, are harming her because she isn't trained in that area.

getting a bit better, at least being able to do the basics of life on my own and stay calm and happy.

It sounds like she is someone who cares about you and your health, and wants to do her best to contribute to your health in a positive way. Can she set you up with an additional resource, someone/team, that is trained for the additional things you have disclosed to her? Someone that can work with you on that part, while she works with you on the tbi, so that you can start to feel a bit better?

i am scared they'll lock me up

Is there an intervention in between being in crisis and being locked up? An outpatient program? day program? group? There usually are options other than being locked in a facility, unless you are a danger to yourself/others. Can she recommend something, or set you up with someone who can?

The feeling that the things you talk about are hurting or causing harm to the person hearing it, is really common. I can't count the number of times I've read something like that here on the forum. If it's a professional, it's not harming them. It's also the reason that therapists have therapists, so that they can help their clients without getting hurt themselves.
 
yeah she did set my up with a team but it hasn't started yet. But i am afraid that talking about things with that team will make things worse because i don't want to think about it. Just doing the intake was very very hard.
 
It sounds like your projecting alot about upcoming situations and having cognitive distortions. Thinking what if this/what if that happens. You need to allow yourself to be helped rather than resisting everything.
 
I'm glad you're being set up with a team. Hopefully with a coordinated effort from all of the team members, your needs can be met.

i am afraid that talking about things with that team will make things worse

Unfortunately, it does get worse before it gets better... because you're ripping off the bandaid and poking at a raw open wound. But there's good pain and bad pain, and therapy is ultimately meant to be a good pain (eventually), as you start to process, heal, and regain function.

It's like healing a really bad fracture. The bone ends need to be set first, before they can begin to mend. The raw nerves of the bone ends hurt, but it's a necessary (aka good) pain. The difference between that and PTSD, is that with physical injuries you're given something to minimize the pain. We don't have analgesics for PTSD, so we have to feel all the pain, and that is scary.
 
The only thing i am resisting is the suicidal thoughts not the help. But there is no point in asking for help in the wrong places.
I asked for this set up myself. I just forgot about how bad it can get even with simple questions and it scares me

It's not thinking in what ifs... it's knowing. I've already been there and i am not strong enough to go trough that again.

They will be working together yes.
 
I understand what your saying. I've been there myself. Going somewhere and asking for help and just getting none or people just making it worse. I get it.

It's difficult to find the right people to talk to in life. I've ended up losing some friends before because they were useless. I felt really upset about it at the time but afterwards I felt glad that id got rid of them. I'm going to a new group this Friday with people from a mental health recovery group. Were walking round the park next to my flat. I'm looking forward to being with like minded people.
 
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