Terrible Anxiety And Anger

[charles400]

Each day is a terrible struggle to keep going. I was killed in the line of duty, however I was given CPR at the scene.
Now I am at home with my kids while my wife continues her job each day.
I never wanted to be at home.
I wanted to finish my career.
My dad is a jerk that is old school that beat me with a leather strap over everything I done when I was a kid.
Whenever I do not do something that he does not like or think I did wrong he keeps hammering me with insults.
I am glad to have my own home and wife and kids.
The kids cause stress because I am just one person.
My son will be going to kindergarden next week, so that will take some pressure off.
I still have my dick head dad that stops by.
I am on medications, however the anxiety is horrible and the anger outburst are explosive.
Its bad to have a dad that says your crazy or want to know if your doctor shrunk your head after you leave his office.

For those that think after the event is over and you retire its all glory, have some work to do like me.
I just hope I can make it through this year.
I am a retired patrol lieutenant.
Its hard when you not have anyone near by that you can talk with.

 

[anthony]

Charles... this is why this place exists. So you have people who do understand...

 

[sigh]

Charles, I totally agree with Anthony. I want to add that just by finding this place and then having the courage to post this first post about what happened to you and how your family life is--is a BIG DEAL!!! Some people have trauma and they can't get to it for years because it's very scary. You identified certain things/ people (like your Dad) who have hurt you badly. This sounds like a great start.

s.

 

[captrn1]

stay positive

Charles,

All of those feelings are normal. Your entire life has changed. Time to start your new life. Try not to stay angry for long.....things get better eventually when you learn to cope with yor disability.

Kel

 

[Irton Pike]

I think you sound like a normal person who has been through some truly extraordinary events. All the anger and anxiety sound like you have come to the right place. This place is great. Its got top advice from some really good people who are dealing with the same problems you have.