Terrible Flashbacks After Surgery

[Samantha_38]

I had surgery this week on my shoulder. I actually had the same surgery 2 years ago on my other shoulder, so luckily I was not too concerned or worried before the surgery. I have 2 kids, one who doesn't walk yet, and I have to be tied up in a sling for 6 weeks so I was worried about taking care of them, but it's gone ok so far. I guess I'm getting used to it. I've had many surgeries to fix the all the injuries I sustained from my trauma.

I am having an astonishing increase in flashbacks and dissociation episodes since surgery however. This did not happen to me after the first surgery. Like many others I experience my symptoms all day on a "normal" day. I don't remember the last time I went more than an hour without at least 1 flashback, image, losing time, or 1 of the other numerous annoyances that PTSD causes. It seems now I struggle going more than 15 minutes.

Has anyone experienced this? I can't figure out what exactly is causing it. The pain seems to be a factor. If my pain goes up, the flashbacks and other things happen more often. My pain has been very well controlled the last 2 days, and they don't seem to be letting up at all. I'm struggling to be a full time mom enough with only have one arm, and the rest of this is making it so much harder.

I've been struggling for over 10 years with PTSD, and really have just started accepting it the last couple months. I'm a first timer in therapy and we haven't gotten real far. I've been introduced to the ideas of grounding techniques and everything that is supposed to help flashbacks. I have yet to find anything that really works for me though. I've been trying, but I really think the only way to get these to slow down some is to figure out what is causing it, and what I need to try to avoid at least for the time-being.

 

[mamachick]

Ironically, I had surgery on my shoulder in December and was in sling. My kids are grown so no issue there. Also, I had so much pain before the surgery that I could not sleep at night for past couple years when the steroid injections wore off. I went about 90 days after the surgery without pain, It was such a miraculous recovery I could not believe it.

My shoulder was pain free and exercises were relatively easy, although still a little weak. Then the pain started and has not let up. I live alone so Im not sure what aggravated it. I have had to have another shot but it is wearing off now, only lasted about a month. The time between the pain returning and getting a steroid injection was about a month.

Again, unable to sleep, I began having horrible ptsd symptoms. I also got the injury during my trauma. However, with the pain before the surgery I never had flashbacks as I did then. Now that the pain is back and I need another injection or surgery, Im having some flashbacks and Im am sleep deprived again, which I think leads to frustration and anger. It is added stress and I make more mistakes.

My situation does not sound as bad as yours. I am sorry for what you are going through. I think pain and sleep deprivation cause worse symptoms, but thats just my opinion and for myself. Right now I do have good medication and am utilizing it, so even thought the pain gets really bad, I do get some relief when I take my meds.

 

[GWhizz]

I'm sorry this has triggered your flashbacks more.

I had surgery almost 6wks ago now to deal with an injury from my past abuse and it has definitely triggered more memories and flashbacks. For me it makes it all the more real and my symptoms more real too. The pain post-op didn't help either. I also have a baby who's not yet walking!

I have had shoulder issues all my life since I broke my collar bone so I'm glad you're getting it attended to - I just hope you can take sometime for yourself to do the post-op exercises when you need to and get the rest you need. I know immediately after my recent surgery, my problem was I overdid things. I always carry on acting like I'm fine to my own detriment.

I don't really know what to say about your flashbacks. But in my experience, my surgery has triggered something new, something I now feel is of crucial importance that I discuss with my T. Do you have a therapist to speak with about this?

I hope you recover well. Take care

 

[mamachick]

I just want to clarify something that I said in my last post. Actual flashbacks (emotional) where I feel like I am back in the trauma I experience are few. But the surgery did remind me (awareness) of how it happened so it brought about thoughts, but less so than the pain and lack of sleep.

Sometimes when there are posts about flashbacks, I tend to think of them as the flash in my head of how I got injured, but dont go to that place emotionally necessarily. The actual flashbacks are the feeling or terror that I felt during the assault that resulted in the trauma-like I forget where I am in the present time, verses the memory of how it happened (awareness).

While this awareness or memory is much more often, it is not a flashback, but none the less very disrupting even though just a memory. Its like when you are in labor and contractions are constant, the awareness of how you got there is present, and husband may be target of effects of pain. The awareness of pain, especially during the night, brings on dreams/nightmares of the incident, although they have lessened too even with the extreme pain.

Wishing you both recovery physically and emotionally.

 

[KwanYingirl]

First of all get rid of you to-do list or at least cut it in half. Two young children and a one armed Mom yikes!! Pile them onto your bed and read books or watch TV. Remember that anasthesia takes a long time to wear off, leaving you in a vulnerable state regarding your PTSD. Hyper vigilance is common when were vulnerable. Always scanning the world so we can be ready for the next symptom. It's a waste of time and no fair that we have these ways of responding to life. Get well soon I sure hope the surgery is successful. Do you have any help around the house?

 

[Samantha_38]

Thank you everyone! I apologize for not responding sooner. My oldest got bronchitis, and since he has asthma, that makes bronchitis in him a little bit worse than in other kids. 2 days later my youngest who's still a baby got pnemonia and was hospitalized. So then I was a 1 armed mom with 2 sick kids. It's been crazy. Then the last check up we had for my youngest, after he got out of the hospital, turned into my oldest needing stitches because he was playing around and got hurt at the doctors office. I don't have any energy left.

@brat17 - What type of surgery did you have? I have always had pain after my surgeries. Pain before as well, of course, that's the reason for needing the surgery in the first place, but after there was pain too. Although different, and it does go away after the exercises and a few months to a year, depending on the surgery. As I said, I've had many. Also I get pretty much all of the above that you describe. I kind of get a combination of everything, and those I consider my "flashbacks". I get flashes of past memories with no real emotion, and that I just call "images". I get emotions with no "images", I don't really have a names for those, they don't happen often. Most of the time I get emotions and images all rolled up into long episodes of dissociation, fear, remembering, panic, pain, etc. Those are what I have been experiencing more of lately. I call those flashbacks I guess, knowing that the technical definitions probably don't always fit what I call the things I'm experiencing.

@GWhizz - I do have a therapist, but like you said, I'm always just sucking it up and over-doing it. He asks, and I say "fine". That word, "fine", its like it was invented just for me to use continuously with no real meaning other than I'm anything but "fine". Even if I make it a point to try and remember to talk about it, I still say "fine". I'm new-ish to therapy, and I still get pretty nervous and pretty much shut down every time I go. It's getting better, VERY slowly, but I think I'm going to be in "fine" mode for awhile still. I do email him though, and a little bit more information comes out in emails for me, so he does know some of the struggles I've had with it.

@KwanYingirl - I wish I could cut my to do list in half. It seems to keep getting longer. Today I get my wisdom teeth out. I'm still one armed and still have both kids. I actually have to pick them up 2 hours after the teeth come out. It's going to be a long weekend for us. I have been allowing them to watch more TV and play more games, which keeps them busy not bothering me so much. I feel guilty for pawning them off on my TV sometimes, but it has been tough keeping them busy. I do have a fiance', their dad. He works from 5am to 10pm though. He's very busy. He helps with what he can, moving a load of laundry before he leaves, or taking the garbage out. Otherwise it's all me though, and its been tough. We don't have much support from our families.