Terrified

[deer_in_headlights]

Beautiful Anni,

Your post is wonderful... You're like the sunshine breaking through scary, dark clouds!

Maguire is such a cute name!
What are some of the favorite things about her that you love (if it's ok if I ask)?
((((((((((((Anni and Maguire)))))))))))))
Love,
Deer

 

[deer_in_headlights]

Flooded with adrenaline at the thought of driving today.
1 yr anniversary of bad car crash.
Roads are slippery, this morning... similar to last year.
Heart is pounding.
(Couldn't sleep last night. I need to drive, avoidance isn't possible, today. Want to climb under covers for a few minutes. Sleepy now - duh...)

 

[KP the nut]

Please take care. My daughter can't get home for Christmas which sucks but at least she is safe.
I hadn't been out of the house since Monday. Snow to awful for me to try and scared to walk in case I fall and re break my neck. However my husband drove me and the dogs to a local park. It was lovely, picture card pretty and the dogs made me laugh.
I understand the anniversary thing, mine comes around in Feb.
It would be stupid to say don't worry cos you can't help but worry. Just take it easy. Let me know how you do.
Love
KP

 

[shadowchaser]

I want to apologize for not posting more in this thread deer. The subject is hard for me to deal with. My bigger girl is already over the mid point as her breed goes and it worries me every day. One breeder told me not to expect more then 7 to 10 years. She is already 5 and turning 6 in March. I just keep thinking of all the others I've lost. Of a kitten that I had made an amazing bond with who died very early in her life in my arms from feline leukemia.

My brain is at the point where it has problems leaving anything alone once it is triggered. Strange thing is I keep reading everything and talking to you threw the screen. But the subject of death being what it is with me I forget to type out what I'm saying.

I'm still here and I'm still supporting you. Just in my own little messed up way.

 

[deer_in_headlights]

(((((((((((((Kath))))))))))))))))!!!

I love your experience of going to the park!

Your fear of falling and driving in the snow is perfectly understandable!!! I really struggle with that...

I found some really great boots that I practically live in. (They're men's boots, actually - forget fashion!)
It's so funny, if I wear men's boots, I have found men in all kinds of places (even the pharmacist) saying enviously, "What great boots!" and whole conversations can take place about these wonderful boots and where they can get a pair, too. :-)

These wonderful boots are designed to be warm to -40 f, were made to be acceptable to police departments (high sheen, black), and something really nifty: they lace up the front, but also have an easy zip up the side! They have amazing traction, and I have never slipped in them. They support an injured ankle, so I've been able to walk on snow and ice, and more rough ground without falls. They really help me feel more secure and less afraid of slipping or falling. Helping my recovery...

What is your anniversary date in February? I hope to be of encouraging support when that day arrives!

The day was difficult. I drove (made it safely), and started taking care of animals, while noticing a weird hissing sound in a bathroom. After all the animals were fed, I cleared out under the sink, and discovered water spraying all over. Another emergency with no help... Shut the water off and made calls to different hardware stores. Had to drive again (had planned not to that day) and get emergency plumbing items. Made it back too cold, tired, frightened to make repairs, so water stayed shut off. Next afternoon got a very temporary patch on the pipe and the water back on. (No hot water, but having running water and a flushing toilet is a great Christmas gift!)

Didn't get the chocolate cake I was planning, gave the money for my Alive Day celebration to a woman who was taking care of her relative's disabled baby. That felt better than chocolate.

Woke up early this morning, hearing Matty crying... Started to jump up out of bed to run to him... then remembered...

 

[deer_in_headlights]

Hi Shadowchaser!

No need to apologize for not posting... I understand the distress and pain!
You're incredibly dear, and I feel your support!
I'm not hurt if you don't post much in this thread... I couldn't keep up with your posting pace or reply to all your posts. I don't have your energy- I'd burn out! :-)

You've posted beautifully on this thread... and I have, and can re-read, your encouraging words, so please feel free to relax and not have to worry about this thread.

Sending a hug (if you take them) and some pats to your sweet dogs...

 

[Philippa]

You know you have a spoiled dog when you go into the bedroom to find it under the covers. Have you tried looking at lol dogs? Like I said I've lost a few cherished pets. As strange as it seams Laughter always seams to help. Kinda a Patch Adams thing there huh? But if it works then it works. If dogs are to hard right now they have cats to. Here is a basement cat vid I did a long time ago.

This was awesome. Thanks for sharing it with us.

 

[intothelight]

Hi Deer,

What a beautiful gift you made to help someone in need. That is the true Christmas spirit and such a reflection of the good person you are.

Deer, your posts are an inspiration of overcoming adversity with kindness, love and compassion.

Thank you.
Deb

 

[deer_in_headlights]

(((((((((((( Deb ))))))))))))

You take my breath away with your powerful words and kindness...
Thank you for re-setting my spirit, and helping me find the courage to face the day...
You're giving me a rainbow: smiling through the tears.
Thank you...
((((((((((((Deb))))))))))

 

[KP the nut]

((((((Deer))))))
Thanks for your reply. You are incredibly brave, coping with your drives and an emergency. I would be able to turn the water off and if my Husband wasn't here ask a neighbour.
Your boots sound awsome, I have boots and also a pair of kick ass police type shoes with a really thick dread. I'm definitely at the stage where it is comfort and practicality over fashion!
I hope your Christmas was good, ours was v quiet just me, my husband and my brother - we jokingly called it 'A grumpy old christmas'
My girls and their boyfriends come next week, they don't want the traditional dinner but our Boxing Day buffet and games which will be great.
My year anniversary is the 16th Feb. It was school half term here and the roads were quiet. I was very nervous at the May school half term as it was a Tuesday morning and I'd had the Monday as leave same as in Feb. However I drove to work, parked, turned off the engine breathed a huge sigh of relief and was the hit by another car as the driver misjudged the parking space. I was hysterical although there was no damage to the cars. That was the start of PTSD symptoms.
I seem to have hit rambling mode, sorry.
You mentioned taking care of the animals, what do you have?
Love
Kath

 

[deer_in_headlights]

(((((((((Kath))))))))))

You make me grin, I love that you have "kick ass" boots! You've struck me as being so gentle and proper, it's a delight to hear you come out with this phrase. You surprised me! :D

Your humor is delightful... (Now I understand why you added "the nut" to your name :D ) "A grumpy old Christmas"... I can just see it. I'm excited for you that your girls are coming next week, and your plans sound fun.

I put your anniversary in my calendar so I can keep you in my prayers on the 16th. I can understand why the car hitting you in the school parking lot would be the final straw that would bring on your PTSD symptoms! That must have been horrible and triggered such fear!

I take in orphaned and injured animals and strays (people even drive into our long driveway and dump off cats, then take off.. grrr...).
Right now I have varying numbers of cats, as strays stagger in here. One is a very sweet young mother who was badly injured (I think from a person, because at first she was very frightened of people... now she is amazingly loving with me), and she has 2 adorable tiny kittens, who alternate between bounding away from this big scary creature, to purring at me. One let me stroke her, yesterday!

I feel lost, missing my dog, Matty... more, but I guess that's all I am able to write, now... thoughts of my beloved Matty...

 

[intothelight]

Hi Deer,

The thought of you and the critters makes me smile when I log on. In a world full of pain and cruelty, it is nice to know there are people who create islands of kindness.

Have a peaceful day.

Deb