Greetings,
I find myself here for support. My friends are tired of hearing about the crazy that is my life. I have friends with this horrible condition and get solace with/from them. Mostly confirmation that the messed up experiences I'm going through aren't only with me.
A little back story (not sure how much to share). From age 14-24 dealt with mistreatment by physicians. 2012 the UN determined that the "treatments" are torture.
I can go for quite a while without that history stirring up a dissociative session/time. The problem is that those experiences 'primed the pump' for not so healthy responses to abuse/mistreatment by people at work.
Since April I've had several fully triggered events due to stress and bullying at work. My work situation is complicated. Suffice to say I didn't ask for any of the BS I've been subjected to.
I have many mornings chocked full of flashbacks and 'terror?' This leaves me on the brink before even going to work. I'm in such a delicate emotional state that I can be triggered in an instant. My memory is affected. I filed a workers compensation claim due to the constant abuse/bullying. Unfortunately that process added a gob of stress. The therapist I was seeing doesn't like WC and referred me out while I'm dealing with it.
Basically I can't remember much. Names are gone. Processes are mostly gone. When I'm completely triggered I only know how to reach out and I basically disappear/go to ground. I've got the local mental hospital programmed in my phone. I'm having a hard time seeing the worth of continuing. I'm not specifically suicidal, but it crosses my mind often. I know that things will improve. It's just hard to see it from down in this hole.
Thanks for reading.
G
I find myself here for support. My friends are tired of hearing about the crazy that is my life. I have friends with this horrible condition and get solace with/from them. Mostly confirmation that the messed up experiences I'm going through aren't only with me.
A little back story (not sure how much to share). From age 14-24 dealt with mistreatment by physicians. 2012 the UN determined that the "treatments" are torture.
I can go for quite a while without that history stirring up a dissociative session/time. The problem is that those experiences 'primed the pump' for not so healthy responses to abuse/mistreatment by people at work.
Since April I've had several fully triggered events due to stress and bullying at work. My work situation is complicated. Suffice to say I didn't ask for any of the BS I've been subjected to.
I have many mornings chocked full of flashbacks and 'terror?' This leaves me on the brink before even going to work. I'm in such a delicate emotional state that I can be triggered in an instant. My memory is affected. I filed a workers compensation claim due to the constant abuse/bullying. Unfortunately that process added a gob of stress. The therapist I was seeing doesn't like WC and referred me out while I'm dealing with it.
Basically I can't remember much. Names are gone. Processes are mostly gone. When I'm completely triggered I only know how to reach out and I basically disappear/go to ground. I've got the local mental hospital programmed in my phone. I'm having a hard time seeing the worth of continuing. I'm not specifically suicidal, but it crosses my mind often. I know that things will improve. It's just hard to see it from down in this hole.
Thanks for reading.
G
