My husband has been suffering severely with PTSD (childhood abuse in addition to combat) for the last year. Well, he’s had it for a while - but the last year has been intense.
Two months ago we got into an argument and he left - when he came home he told me he put a gun in his mouth and that he was so close to pulling the trigger but didn’t.
Wednesday he pushed me during an episode of pure rage brought on by what most would consider a small argument.
Last night I walked in on him setting stuff up to hang himself. I pleaded for him not to do this. We have a toddler. He has a 5 and 7 year old from a previous marriage - and they’re in town for their Christmas visit. (We only get them a few times a year - never ever on Christmas so this year was special). All the girls were upstairs sleeping. He continued to get ready, put the belt around his neck and I just lunged at him. For the next 45 mins we fought physically - me trying to get him to just stop. He’s bigger and stronger than I so of course he was able to push me down every time I tried to do something. The fight was scary. I just kept telling him that he could hurt me all he wanted but that I was NOT going to let him do this.
Finally I ran upstairs to call 911 and ran back down - once I had 911 in the phone, he took the belt off his neck, off the rafters in the basement and was yelling to the dispatcher that I was lying. Then he grabbed his keys, said “ok, I got you” and left.
Police found him about an hour and a half later - he admitted that he did in fact make a serious attempt at suicide so they took him to the hospital for a psych evaluation - and I was assured he would be admitted whether he wanted to or not. They told him he needed to me and he left. He literally walked out of the hospital and went missing again! I received a call at 5:30 am letting me know that he was gone.
Luckily, about two hours later, the police found him again and took him back to the hospital... where I’m hoping he stays.
I have no idea what to say to the girls because the 5 year old woke up from all the noise and was scared and crying. I hate that this is effecting the kids.
Was I wrong for jumping on him? What would you have done? Or if you’ve sadly experienced something similar - what did you do?
And do I continue to try to help him? Or am I just putting myself in danger? Probably a dumb question.
Ugh, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone out there today. Praying you all know that you are loved today and everyday.
Two months ago we got into an argument and he left - when he came home he told me he put a gun in his mouth and that he was so close to pulling the trigger but didn’t.
Wednesday he pushed me during an episode of pure rage brought on by what most would consider a small argument.
Last night I walked in on him setting stuff up to hang himself. I pleaded for him not to do this. We have a toddler. He has a 5 and 7 year old from a previous marriage - and they’re in town for their Christmas visit. (We only get them a few times a year - never ever on Christmas so this year was special). All the girls were upstairs sleeping. He continued to get ready, put the belt around his neck and I just lunged at him. For the next 45 mins we fought physically - me trying to get him to just stop. He’s bigger and stronger than I so of course he was able to push me down every time I tried to do something. The fight was scary. I just kept telling him that he could hurt me all he wanted but that I was NOT going to let him do this.
Finally I ran upstairs to call 911 and ran back down - once I had 911 in the phone, he took the belt off his neck, off the rafters in the basement and was yelling to the dispatcher that I was lying. Then he grabbed his keys, said “ok, I got you” and left.
Police found him about an hour and a half later - he admitted that he did in fact make a serious attempt at suicide so they took him to the hospital for a psych evaluation - and I was assured he would be admitted whether he wanted to or not. They told him he needed to me and he left. He literally walked out of the hospital and went missing again! I received a call at 5:30 am letting me know that he was gone.
Luckily, about two hours later, the police found him again and took him back to the hospital... where I’m hoping he stays.
I have no idea what to say to the girls because the 5 year old woke up from all the noise and was scared and crying. I hate that this is effecting the kids.
Was I wrong for jumping on him? What would you have done? Or if you’ve sadly experienced something similar - what did you do?
And do I continue to try to help him? Or am I just putting myself in danger? Probably a dumb question.
Ugh, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone out there today. Praying you all know that you are loved today and everyday.
