Thanksgiving dread

[MissInvisible]

I detest this time of year. Have always hated it. More recently, someone I was very close to was very ill, needed constant care, then passed away the day before Thanksgiving nine years ago. Plus, family gatherings have always been stressful. But this year I don't have my coping mechanism of choice: narcotics. Worst of all, this is the first year I will be sharing the Thanksgiving table with my father that I have actual memories of him molesting me as a child. I'm dreading this dinner so much that I'm actually praying to contract some sort of injury or ailment that would require me to be hospitalized and miss the family dinner. At the very least, I will at least be cutting and most assuredly there will be adult beverages involved. Any advice for surviving the day???:nailbiting:

 

[mamachick]

Twas the night before Thanksgiving
And all through the house
My abusive husband began cleaning
Company to soon come to our horrible house

He vacuumed one time
In the past several years
I know he resents it
Not manly he fears

At dinner Im nauseous
Watching him gulp down his food
Such an old bastard
With a greedy big mood

I stare blankly
Unable to eat
Dreading Thanksgiving
And another defeat

I make a decision
This is the last year this will be
By this time next year
I promise to please me

 

[hodge]

Any advice for surviving the day???:nailbiting:

How about just skipping it? Why put yourself through that? Buy yourself a small turkey and roast it. Make your own Thanksgiving. If you have friends that will be alone, invite them, even if it's not tomorrow. There's still the weekend. We're having ours on Saturday. Nothing wrong with that. It's not the date but the thought that counts.

My family of origin holidays were always horrible, too. I never knew they could be fun till I moved away.

 

[Friday]

At the very least, I will at least be cutting and most assuredly there will be adult beverages involved

Don't go?

 

[mamachick]

I could not spend it with the father that molested me. Its a hard time for many. I am having difficulty not ruining the day for the others given current situations and I know I am not doing what is best for me. This needs to be the last time Im not doing whats best for me. You are stronger than me. I just don't think I could do it.

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

What I would do is lie. I would say I have food poisoning or something like that. I'd tell them I cannot be more than 10 paces from the toilet for fear I may shit my self.

I'd honestly rather be the shitty bird than expose myself to that kind of mental torture.

Saying that I'm terrified of disappointing or upsetting people so the lies like this make the guilt easier to deal with. The best option maybe to just say something I don't feel up to it. I don't know.

 

[gealach]

Mucormycosis, Granulomatous amoebic encephalitis, Progressive vaccinia, Kuru disease.

All rare & extremely contagious, and a great reason to miss the dinner.

If you don't go to the dinner, don't feel bad/guilty/negative. No one should have to share a table with their abuser.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I wouldn't offer any explanation. I would just say, I'm not going and stay home.

 

[Gs172003]

I detest this time of year. Have always hated it. More recently, someone I was very close to was...

The only reason I'm going to mine is that my daughter is here from out of town. If she wasn't here I'd skip it.

 

[Gs172003]

The flu is going around. ** cough cough.

Or... Eat, say your hellos..then leave. Nobody says you have to stay

 

[MissInvisible]

Great ideas. Granulomatous amoebic encephalitis. That's awesome! But you have to do some distasteful things for your children, to give them some semblance of a normal family. So I will suck it up and do whatever I have to in order to get through, while praying for a kidney stone!:dead: Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

 

[Muttly]

I have been through similar. And it took me years to have the strength to not go. Don't beat yourself up for whatever decision you make.

As far as coping on the day, give yourself the opportunity to take breaks. I used to go to the bathroom a lot. I also would step outside to get some air. Another thing I did was put something in my pocket that reminded me of safety. One year it was this little turtle toy a friend gave me. I would reach into my pocket and squeeze the turtle and it would remind me of him, animals, and life outside of my family