I just finished a ride on my oddly doglike horse Odie, and was able to gain a really wonderful grounding, and phyical in the moment connection with him yet again. It just felt like layers of concrete were melting off me.
For having been "intimate" with death for the majority of my life- any any form from violence to natural, it was the loss of extremely important, and severe bonds, with animals that finally did me in ...so to speak.
I have developed an extreme obsession and overwhelming pre-occupation with the inevitibility, that the few things that really, truly matter to me (I coun't 8, and they all live on my little ranch - only 1 walks on 2 legs), are destined to be taken, and I will simply never be able to hold onto them, no matter how desperate, or panicked I become, and that self evident fact just wouldn't subside, no matter how much I try.
I have recently tried to develop some philosophy, or paradigm, for surviving this, based on the fragility of all the animals I'm so invested in, realizing the natural importance, code, and compassion in their need to one day find peace as they age, and their respective lack of fear, comprehension, or preoccupation with it. Oddly, it "seems" to be working, or at least opening some peace in myself.
I was wondering if something like this, some mindful bonding with animals, has allowed any one else to find some recognition, acceptance and/ or undertsanding of death, and the apparent cruel, seemingly illogical, reality that you just can't hang on to these essential bonds?
For having been "intimate" with death for the majority of my life- any any form from violence to natural, it was the loss of extremely important, and severe bonds, with animals that finally did me in ...so to speak.
I have developed an extreme obsession and overwhelming pre-occupation with the inevitibility, that the few things that really, truly matter to me (I coun't 8, and they all live on my little ranch - only 1 walks on 2 legs), are destined to be taken, and I will simply never be able to hold onto them, no matter how desperate, or panicked I become, and that self evident fact just wouldn't subside, no matter how much I try.
I have recently tried to develop some philosophy, or paradigm, for surviving this, based on the fragility of all the animals I'm so invested in, realizing the natural importance, code, and compassion in their need to one day find peace as they age, and their respective lack of fear, comprehension, or preoccupation with it. Oddly, it "seems" to be working, or at least opening some peace in myself.
I was wondering if something like this, some mindful bonding with animals, has allowed any one else to find some recognition, acceptance and/ or undertsanding of death, and the apparent cruel, seemingly illogical, reality that you just can't hang on to these essential bonds?