While Amarah and I haven't known each other long it feels like we've been the best of friends for years now. She hasn't gone into many details about her past but what I do know is she was caught in a civil war with her family and has around 5 years worth on trauma bearing down on her.
She also has very little free time because of the workload she's placed upon herself and the constant badgering of her social/school life. She also has very few outlets and has built heavily fortified barriers for mostly everyone due to a previous abusive relationship as well as the fact that most people aren't very understanding of her condition. This goes especially for her family who is constantly trying to force her into arranged marriages with completely self-absorbed and wealthy douche bags.
On top of all this, she has her own medical problems which have been causing her intense amounts of pain recently to where I've stayed up till 3, 4, 5, or 6 in the morning trying and help ease her suffering. She is a wonderful person who is extremely driven(almost to a fault) and is as intelligent as can be. She has quite literally thrown anything negative about me out the window and has chosen to focus only on the positives and I myself am diagnosed with Schizophrenia and depression/anxiety. Believe me, someone like her only comes around once in a lifetime and is worth more than the world to me.
While I have experience with people who suffer from PTSD I have never pursued a serious relationship with someone who's suffering from it. Though we are not "official" we both want to make things work out and I feel I need to learn everything I can to help ease her pain whether we end up "together" or not. I recently ended a relationship with a woman of 3 years who suffers from her own mental illness and has children of her own because...well needless to say it wasn't working out.
Amarah knows everything there is to me as we have a very open relationship. Mostly on my end with the deeper stuff but I understand why and am not pushy about it in any way. Today my ex called to inform me she was seeing someone else and that things are going well for her. I told her things were also going well for me and that I'm currently interested in someone else. She responded with "Oh..." & a long silent pause. She then said that she hopes I'm happy and hung up. I told Amarah on the phone what happened and she was okay up until the point where I told her that my ex and I "silently agreed we needed to stop talking." While that is essentially what happen Amarah didn't understand what it meant to "silently agree" on something and we ended up with us having a fight. She prefers to lay everything on the table right then and doesn't believe in anything else needless to say. She kept saying for me to go back to my ex since that's "apparently what you want" according to her and to just "do whatever you want".
Every time it seemed like our situation was resolved we both found new words to push each other away. In the end, while we both acknowledged our feelings for each other are strong, she said she needed a break from us talking and needed time alone to take care of herself. Then said she needed a break from everyone right now, which is completely understandable in my opinion. I reminded her that I'll be here for her as I have been since we've met She responded by saying thank you, she appreciates me, that I'm a really amazing guy( both which she tells me every day), and ended our talk by saying "Later handsome" with a smile.
Okay now that the long introduction is over I need advice on how to handle things from here. I understand that she needs some time alone now and I will respect her wishes. I have suffered in the past because of my Schizophrenia(especially the severe hallucinations in the past) , Depression, Anxiety and a previous abusive relationship myself before my most recent one(she stabbed me with a small knife because I didn't compliment the milkshake she made for me just to give you an idea.) though I cannot even begin to comprehend what horrors Amarah experiences on a day to day basis.
I want to know how to handle situations with her in the future and I need to be able to understand what she's experiencing so I can be there for her as she has for me. I don't know what it is about her but she's the only person who helps my nightmares go away. She makes me what to cook, clean, garden, read, listen to lovey-dovey music, and all the things I used to love doing before my illness/depression took over. I'm honestly praying I didn't permanently damage any chances of our relationship progressing further in the future and I'm not one for prayer believe me. If anyone can give advice or their empathy it would be greatly appreciated. Please, and thank you.
She also has very little free time because of the workload she's placed upon herself and the constant badgering of her social/school life. She also has very few outlets and has built heavily fortified barriers for mostly everyone due to a previous abusive relationship as well as the fact that most people aren't very understanding of her condition. This goes especially for her family who is constantly trying to force her into arranged marriages with completely self-absorbed and wealthy douche bags.
On top of all this, she has her own medical problems which have been causing her intense amounts of pain recently to where I've stayed up till 3, 4, 5, or 6 in the morning trying and help ease her suffering. She is a wonderful person who is extremely driven(almost to a fault) and is as intelligent as can be. She has quite literally thrown anything negative about me out the window and has chosen to focus only on the positives and I myself am diagnosed with Schizophrenia and depression/anxiety. Believe me, someone like her only comes around once in a lifetime and is worth more than the world to me.
While I have experience with people who suffer from PTSD I have never pursued a serious relationship with someone who's suffering from it. Though we are not "official" we both want to make things work out and I feel I need to learn everything I can to help ease her pain whether we end up "together" or not. I recently ended a relationship with a woman of 3 years who suffers from her own mental illness and has children of her own because...well needless to say it wasn't working out.
Amarah knows everything there is to me as we have a very open relationship. Mostly on my end with the deeper stuff but I understand why and am not pushy about it in any way. Today my ex called to inform me she was seeing someone else and that things are going well for her. I told her things were also going well for me and that I'm currently interested in someone else. She responded with "Oh..." & a long silent pause. She then said that she hopes I'm happy and hung up. I told Amarah on the phone what happened and she was okay up until the point where I told her that my ex and I "silently agreed we needed to stop talking." While that is essentially what happen Amarah didn't understand what it meant to "silently agree" on something and we ended up with us having a fight. She prefers to lay everything on the table right then and doesn't believe in anything else needless to say. She kept saying for me to go back to my ex since that's "apparently what you want" according to her and to just "do whatever you want".
Every time it seemed like our situation was resolved we both found new words to push each other away. In the end, while we both acknowledged our feelings for each other are strong, she said she needed a break from us talking and needed time alone to take care of herself. Then said she needed a break from everyone right now, which is completely understandable in my opinion. I reminded her that I'll be here for her as I have been since we've met She responded by saying thank you, she appreciates me, that I'm a really amazing guy( both which she tells me every day), and ended our talk by saying "Later handsome" with a smile.
Okay now that the long introduction is over I need advice on how to handle things from here. I understand that she needs some time alone now and I will respect her wishes. I have suffered in the past because of my Schizophrenia(especially the severe hallucinations in the past) , Depression, Anxiety and a previous abusive relationship myself before my most recent one(she stabbed me with a small knife because I didn't compliment the milkshake she made for me just to give you an idea.) though I cannot even begin to comprehend what horrors Amarah experiences on a day to day basis.
I want to know how to handle situations with her in the future and I need to be able to understand what she's experiencing so I can be there for her as she has for me. I don't know what it is about her but she's the only person who helps my nightmares go away. She makes me what to cook, clean, garden, read, listen to lovey-dovey music, and all the things I used to love doing before my illness/depression took over. I'm honestly praying I didn't permanently damage any chances of our relationship progressing further in the future and I'm not one for prayer believe me. If anyone can give advice or their empathy it would be greatly appreciated. Please, and thank you.
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