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The Meaning Of Belonging

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MeWobbles

New Here
Belonging
We are all social Beings.
We need.
We exist within a social interaction.
We depend on.
It is all part of who we are and how we exist.
We all need to know
That there is a place for each of us to feel connection in
It is the six sense of belonging
It is not superficial
It is real

We place great importance on relationship.
We talk about it as
loving
Sharing
Feeling
Being.
Healing

It is woven in through our hearts
As feelings that are reciprocal.
it is akin to our brain
Which when optimum
Produces balance and harmony

Belonging is peaceful
It heals
It consolidates
It makes us equal and in a group we maintain a continuum of equilibrium
Filled by
importance
Significance
Validity
Nurture
Care
Love

A journey felt

I do not feel a sense of belonging to anyone
I feel disconnected
I am outcast
And I have spent a lifetime trying to work out how to belong
What is wrong with me
And why I don't matter

Maybe I was born wrong
A Genetic disposition
Maybe in utero I was meant to be washed away
A natural rejection - physiologically
And I wasn't

Or maybe it was my family that pushed us away from
our herd
Or flock
Not a bad thing really
It irradicates a bad gene
That would cause risk to a population
To societies discomfort

In my experiences of survival
I believe I was meant to die
I so wish I had

Nature versus Nurture
Nature and nurture
Environment and survival as a whole and experiences of social deprivation that is individually experienced, processed and unique
In broder social terms
Experiences that were a risk
to our sense of dignity
humanity
Preservation

From a societal perspective we will compromise and reject the minority
For the greater good of our survival

In a place where i have tried to fit in
I now accept that this is a path I don't know how to live

I feel lost
Sad
Alone
Dejected
Alien
Alienated
Disconnected
Unintegrated

I have no flock
No herd
No belonging
Just obligation
To exist for the comfort
Of the majority

I did not cause my life pain
And I worked hard for me to become different
To be accepted
To fit in
To give back
To live in harmony
Just like everyone else
With a purpose and the search of belonging

I failed
Just as much as I was failed

In me I thought we all deserved a place
And I was wrong

We have classed society
Creating a continuum of significance and importance
Power
Better than
More entitled
Opportunity
A class of entitlements
All of which have meaning
Significance
Comfort
Authority

To maintain that, we have to split
And be or be without
Neutrality is simply determined, medium is created
People are elevated
Others alienated
That protects what is
We as a species have separated us as a whole
Into groups, factions, labels and entitlements
Black and white
Either or

Equalibrium is altered
Through power
And it is maintained
By blaming
Shaming
Dishonoring
Pitying
Demonising
And from the bottom reversed
A symphony of power

That is reciprocal.
And Exclusive

Freud experienced period of professional exclusion
because he chose to be different and name things he saw - incest
He was quickly ridiculed, shamed, publically humiliated
And in his weakness to his flock he submitted and he denied what he once believed
Just so he could maintain his comfort

Lang, nsw premier in the depression
Chose to place dignity and humanity first
He stood out
And believed in the welfare of people
He observed human suffering
And in that he defied the powers of parliament
To place people first
He was stood down
In public shame and humiliation
For doing what was right
he did not submit

I don't have family
That safety net of compassion is not there
I am walking alone in this
And rather than resisting a label or definition
I just want it all to end

I am not resilient
I have struggled with this life
I have not adjusted
I have not found that personal strength to assimilate successfully
No
I have pleaded for recognition and care
And a place of belonging
In those that mattered

No matter the circumstances
No matter where i am positioned
my experience of social deprivation and need to belong has kept me boxed, labeled and excluded

I can't reconcile this
And like a mantra
I just hear the dissociated and fractured voies saying

This need so great
This need so empty
These feelings so overwhelming
I'm sad
I feel alone
My fight is resigned

I want to die.
 
I am sorry for your pain. I think most of us here on the forum, to one degree or another, feel as you, but you are significant. You are here for a reason

If you don't have any family; what about finding a social group you can join: a church, a club, a golf league. I know it is hard to know how to meet people; to feel like you fit in and not be an outcast, but you need to develop a support group of friends that can help you with the fight.

Being here on the fourm is a good start. If you go to the forum "support groups" you can see if someone has started on near you, otherwise think about starting one. There are people here that can support you; you just need to reach out to them.
 
I am also sorry to hear that you feel as you do. You are right that we all have a need to belong, and I do not believe that you have failed. I believe you have been failed by the world which should be a safe place, and that finding those who really do care is so important, and that there are those out there who do. I believe that light desperses the darkness and that there is hope, and am praying for you to find a sense of peace now within the storm and really hope you can find a sense of belonging with those on this forum, who are people who do care, and within the wider world too, because you do deserve it and I believe you were created for so much more than this.

God Bless
Helen
 
That was such an amazing show of honesty. Oh my Lord! What a gift you have for expressing the unexpressible! I feel so deeply as you do, but my only show of depth has been to find songs that strike a partial cord, and I send them to my friends and family in hopes that they will feel what I feel. Save me from the solitude, rejection and self-hatred.

I've just found this site. Hopefully we can find our paths together here. We are no longer alone in the same sense as we were before. Take heart in this, my friend. -- Nativia
 
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