My veteran and I were together for 2.5 years. This will be out 3rd break up. He recently started therapy at the end of July. I told him he needs to focus on recovery and we will put our relationship aside for now. We haven't talked much at all, I told him about a few weeks ago that it's okay for him to reach out so I know his heart is still with me, he responded back that he was happier not having been with me. I ignored the text because I thought maybe he was lashing out.
Last night I bumped into him at the fair, my friend told me he had told her we broke up, I was livid. I walked up to him and pushed him aside from the circle of friends and asked him to talk. He didn't want to talk. I said I'm not walking away and I deserve an explanation. He told me he doesn't have any issues and therapy is boring and not helping him and he was happier being alone. I told him if it's over he needs to say it. He said "it's over, I'm sorry". He was cold like he was the first time we broke up and he came back 3 weeks later. Sometimes I feel like he needs to lose me to realize he doesn't want to be without me. Maybe I should have just ended it so he can focus on therapy, instead of just "putting it aside". I'm not sure what I've done wrong, or maybe he simply just doesn't love me and I'm not the one.
I'm so upset he didn't even think to sit me down and talk to me and actually break up with me if that's what he wanted. I have exhausted my efforts with him, he has humiliated me by breaking up with me at my best friends wedding, he has pushed me away with hurtful words and then comes back and tells me his issues stem from the military and his fathers death. I have been to therapy to help understand what he's going through, I have done my research so I can be a good supporter and I vent here with people who understand me.
I know therapy is hard at first, before things get better. In his darkest moments he's told me "I love you for sticking around", I am nothing but supportive, and I do everything I can to do whatever he needs, without losing myself. I feel defeated, because I know love isn't enough and I need to walk away now. If he loves me enough he will fight for me one day, but I'm sure it'll be too little too late.
All I ever wanted was for him to be okay, at least to the point where his symptoms are tolerable and we can set boundaries and figure out what we both need to survive this. We never got that chance.
Last night I bumped into him at the fair, my friend told me he had told her we broke up, I was livid. I walked up to him and pushed him aside from the circle of friends and asked him to talk. He didn't want to talk. I said I'm not walking away and I deserve an explanation. He told me he doesn't have any issues and therapy is boring and not helping him and he was happier being alone. I told him if it's over he needs to say it. He said "it's over, I'm sorry". He was cold like he was the first time we broke up and he came back 3 weeks later. Sometimes I feel like he needs to lose me to realize he doesn't want to be without me. Maybe I should have just ended it so he can focus on therapy, instead of just "putting it aside". I'm not sure what I've done wrong, or maybe he simply just doesn't love me and I'm not the one.
I'm so upset he didn't even think to sit me down and talk to me and actually break up with me if that's what he wanted. I have exhausted my efforts with him, he has humiliated me by breaking up with me at my best friends wedding, he has pushed me away with hurtful words and then comes back and tells me his issues stem from the military and his fathers death. I have been to therapy to help understand what he's going through, I have done my research so I can be a good supporter and I vent here with people who understand me.
I know therapy is hard at first, before things get better. In his darkest moments he's told me "I love you for sticking around", I am nothing but supportive, and I do everything I can to do whatever he needs, without losing myself. I feel defeated, because I know love isn't enough and I need to walk away now. If he loves me enough he will fight for me one day, but I'm sure it'll be too little too late.
All I ever wanted was for him to be okay, at least to the point where his symptoms are tolerable and we can set boundaries and figure out what we both need to survive this. We never got that chance.
