The struggle with self compassion...

[ms spock]

That sounds like a normal part of the process to me @VioletButterfly. You mind will wander off millions of times - so does mine. Repetition is the key.

So do you listen and do the Self Compassion Break? It is free to download on Kristin Neff's website.

There is a written exercise to do as well!

You are doing really well to be at this point just keep it up and don't be unkind to yourself when you lose focus. That is a normal part of the process.

The Mindful Way Through Depression and the The Mindful Way Through Anxiety might be of assistance to you.

I was also look at dbtself help, particularly the Radical Acceptance part!

 

[VioletButterfly]

Thank you so much @Ms Spock. I will get back to the drawing board on this. I was doing the self-compassion breaks and working through the website (Kristen Neff), but you know it goes.... Self-care seems to be a good motivator for me right now as it is basic, so I will add the compassion piece in again and see if the books you've mentioned are at my library. Thanks again and best to you! VB

 

[ms spock]

It is a practice @VioletButterfly - I don't think it matters how many times that you slip an slide - it just matters that you return to the practice when you slip a bit, without being harsh with yourself for sliding.

 

[ms spock]

Doing a lot of this and it enables me to stay in the now and I am not checking out as much, and I am seeing that things have a way of working out.

 

[ms spock]

Working on this a lot. Doing the Self Compassion Breaks throughout the day.

 

[ms spock]

This is not easy - and I have worked hard on this one - I am literally doing Compassion Breaks on and off most days these days - it still needs a lot of work and then I can give up a lot of maladaptive behaviours - because I won't be savaging myself so much. You need a relationship with yourself that is not totally abusive to heal and recover. And even thinking about that for many years was such a trigger. Now it is not a trigger (most of the time) now it is a serious challenge that takes a lot of time and effort.

I expect to be attacked, savaged, abused and ripped apart. I need to not do it to myself. I am improving out of sight but I still have a lot of work to do on this one.

 

[ms spock]

I have to come back to the drawing board with this one. I lost my self compassion for a bit there. I could do the first two steps of the Self Compassion Break and not the third, and for awhile there I forgot to do it at all.

 

[ms spock]

I slipped away from this and it made things really tough going again. I am back on the wagon though, now.

 

[ms spock]

When I was doing this regularly I did much better. I have been doing it at times, but I am not quite able to get the Self Compassion thing going that well at the moment.

 

[ms spock]

I really lost the plot with this one - and I really had a corresponding drop in managing situations and being present in my body as well as stopping my regular practice of Mindfulness and a my eating going to pot as well. I had no idea how crucial it was to manage the feroracious self hatred within me. I fell off the horse and the landing was hard and jarring. Egads!


<grumble> Yeah it suxs! </grumble>

 

[VioletButterfly]

Sending along a virtual snow white steed named "Compassion" and a step ladder to help you get back on. I'm getting back on "Mindful," the chestnut colored horse beside you. :)

P.S. I just put a hold on The Mindful Way Through Depression at the library.

 

[ms spock]

Sending along a virtual snow white steed named "Compassion" and a step ladder to help you get back on. I'm getting back on "Mindful," the chestnut colored horse beside you.

:)

P.S. I just put a hold on The Mindful Way Through Depression at the library.

It has been one of those pivotal books of my recovery @VioletButterfly! It is an excellent! I am so pleased to read this!