Therapist Out Of Town

[Sarah2732]

My T is out of town for a few weeks as well. Thankfully I have a great relationship still with my old T (who I stopped seeing due to a combo of logistics and wanting to work on something, for awhile, I needed a male T's help with) so was able to meet with her in the interim. It's been good to catch up with her and use the time to take stock of where I'm at and how things are going since I last saw her.

In the past, particularly when I was at a point where dependance on my T was a "good" place to be in terms of therapeutic value and I was seeing her multiple times a week, a few things helped. Besides the obvious (permission to text/call if in crisis, a planned check-in, etc) I found it really helped for her to write me a note before she left stating a few things that were true about our relationship and that they wouldn't change while we were apart. (Tried that as a voicemail too, but that didn't work as well for me) Also reading a book (usually one she recommended and we agreed on in advance) during the break, and highlighting sections or making notes of things I wanted to talk to her about helped.

If you have supporters outside of therapy, I'd often let them know weeks I knew I was going to need a little more support, and plan lunches or afternoons together as distractions.

 

[Leigh925]

@[DLMURL="https://www.myptsd.com/c/members/ellienad.24298/"]ellienad[/DLMURL] thanks for your thoughts. After reading this thread I emailed my therapist and told him how I felt. He called me and apologized and set up a time to call me again. I am very relieved!!! I guess it is hard to expect him to be responsive if I an too afraid to open up about how I am feeling and sometimes when I think I am being really transparent I guess I am not. I am obviously still working on that! Thanks for the encouragement!

 

[ellienad]

@Sarah2732 Guess this is the time for therapists to take their vacations, eh? ;) Glad we can all be in this together. It sounds like that place of "good" dependance, etc. is where I'm at now. It has really helped texting/calling if I need to and planning a scheduled time to check in. Writing a note is a fabulous idea and will have to try that next time she goes out of town (which I can only hope isn't anytime soon!) That's great you're able to utilize your old T while your current one is away. Hang in there!

@Leigh925 That's so wonderful to hear!!! *high five* :hug:

 

[Sally sue]

My T is on vacation too, and there's no contacting her, but I understand that. Honestly, I'm so conflicted when she's on vacation...One, I feel it's important for her to have time off so she doesn't burn out, but I feel mad at her for not being there, and then as the days pass I start hating her (I'm not sure what that's about... I think it's a fear of abandonment, so I preemptively "hate her" before she can leave me or not come back).

Also, a little voice starts telling me that "she doesn't care anyway. I could die and it wouldn't matter to her :(." It's such a nasty road I start to travel, AND it's soooo frustrating that I feel I'm too OLD to feel this way! Sigh.

So, @ellienad I get what you're saying and totally agree, "it sucks."

 

[Jane.l]

My T came back - which should be a good thing - only he cancelled my appt via email 2 hours before I was due to see him because he is jet lagged. I am gutted and probably have the whole thing way out of proportion but I had focused so much on getting to today, I am totally thrown. I emailed him yesterday because I was having major anxiety problems and I just feel like a joke now , he either doesn't take me seriously or doesn't give a **** . Either way my trust has evaporated and it brings back all my old self blame - I really really don't need this right now !

 

[Sally sue]

@Jane.l oh my gosh! That would totally mess me up too :(. Are you going to tell him, via email or anything how you're feeling?

I'd probably have to have an extra appt to get past it hahahaha.

 

[Jane.l]

Have written a pretty strong email - but not heard back which is really messing with my head.

 

[Sally sue]

Argh! Well, maybe something's come up and he is not able at this time....it's good to give the benefit of the doubt.

 

[ellienad]

@Jane.l Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!! I don't think you've blown things out of proportion at all. I would be a mess AND angry! How are you doing now? Have things been resolved at all/have you talked to your T?

 

[Tinyflame]

I think @Sarah2732 has something there; as time goes I lose a sense of what I 'know'. Perhaps we couldn't trust in a lack of 'changeability', or have been accustomed to inconsistency, or chaos, or words not matching actions, or words being one thing one day, something else the next.

Or maybe with time we are especially left to our own thoughts, or think of what we've revealed & start to lose self-acceptance of it. Doubt that we are not viewed as poorly as we may view ourselves. Even though the person is paid & likely heard something similar thousands of times. Perhaps we feel fear or condemnation that actually comes from within ourselves.

I know for myself that would explain why it's easier for me the longer I avoid to avoid things entirely.

@Jane.l , maybe he didn't feel capable of making it a productive session for you. Hugs.

 

[Jane.l]

@ junebug and allienad yes true or maybe he just fancied another day off - anyway I have cooled down , he knows how it made me feel I sent him a very straight email - I think he forgets how much I rely on him - anyway I am seeing him tomorrow and we will repair the damage - just wish there was never any damage it all hurts a lot but for some reason I can't hold on to the anger maybe sometimes I should but he is still the best thing to ever happen to me - I so wish I had had him at 16 - it's hard , it hurts but I still think he is worth the fight to get out of this mess - really hope I have got that right !!

 

[ellienad]

@Jane.l How did your session go? Share if you would like, I hope things went well :)