Therapy isn't working

[frogthroat]

Been to therapy a couple of months now and besides the couple EMDR sessions we did most of it revolves around going out, meeting people, and going to church. I told her I wasn't interested in going to church. Every session she brings up church and it's really frustrating. She also asked me if I was an alcoholic. She's really intent on slamming in that "the past is the past" and seems irritated by me. She talks about other clients and I just don't think she takes me seriously. I texted her and told her that she doesn't know how close I am to killing myself and all she texted back was "if you're feeling that way please go to a hospital." I texted her today and she said she was busy working and now she has stuff to do at home and sorry. I feel so alone. I literally feel 12 again and I feel worse than I did before therapy. I don't know what to do.

 

[desiderata310]

You need an actual TRAUMA therapist. Preferably a non-theistic based one. The right therapist makes all the difference.
In desperation, I went to see one of those 'doc in a box' kind of therapists you get sent to by your employer when you're going through a 'bad time'. I kind of wanted to strangle her by the end of the session. I also had 4 years of experience with a good trauma therapist under my belt so I knew the difference.
Plenty of therapists don't feel qualified to deal with a suicidal patient. Hence her text. She freaked out
She's not the therapist for your needs.
There are good ones out there.

 

[frogthroat]

She said She's a trauma therapist and it was in her description on the website I found her on too.

 

[somerandomguy]

She may be a trauma therapist, but she's not a good trauma therapist FOR YOU.

 

[FauxLiz]

@frogthroat I don't mean to sound rough but people can say and write anything they want that doesn't necessarily make it true or make them good at what they claim. For example there are a lot of job tasks that I do in my work that can be broken off and claimed as a specialty. However, I am not a specialist in those fields I just have some strong working knowledge and experience in those areas.

What proof does she provide that she is a trauma therapist what extra training has she done in the field? How long has she been working with patients with a traumatic background? Also, if you tell her that you do not want church or religion brought up and she continues I would report her to her licensing board and accreditation board.

 

[frogthroat]

Idk. I just found her on Psychology Today. I was desperate and she was the only psychologist on there with trauma experience and now I feel f*cked because I've been seeing her every week since Feb 28th and I just started making payments. I don't know what I'm going to do.

 

[EveHarrington]

The therapists on psychology today will list trauma even if they only have a basic knowledge of it. That is, do not go by the descriptive blurb alone.

She’s clearly a bad fit for you. I advise moving on. Hugs.

 

[desiderata310]

Call your insurance and ask for referrals to Trauma therapist who specialize in PTSD. Make it clear what you are looking for: someone who is non-theistic, who has a good history in dealing with trauma and PTSD and(if you actually felt like you want to try to continue with EMDR) someone who has been through BOTH courses of EMDR and has kept up with their training (some folks come back from EMDR training and are all gung ho to try it out on the next unwitting victim)
Also, EMDR is something you undertake after you've been doing Therapy for a while. EMDR drags shit up and makes things harder and you need a solid foundation of trust with the person you're working with before embarking on that part of your journey.
Get a few numbers, talk to them. If you don't like em, MOVE ON.

 

[Justmehere]

Many of the trauma therapists I’ve consulted with are not a good fit for me. It’s not the end of recovery to run into one that’s a bad fit. It took a few tries to find something that is a good fit.

It’s also common for things to get worse for awhile after starting EMDR before they get better.

Find a new therapist who can better explain these things.

 

[Freida]

therapists are like dating -- they all have the same equipment but they are much different when it comes to relationships. If she's not a good fit for you then it is perfectly ok to move to someone else. And one big sign they aren't for you is if they can't keep their religion out of it. Mine has a background in christian theology but it NEVER comes up in our sessions.

And yes -- EMDR can get much worse before it gets better so being comfortable with your therapist is a must

 

[Suzetig]

I texted her and told her that she doesn't know how close I am to killing myself and all she texted back was "if you're feeling that way please go to a hospital."

I’m wondering what response you were hoping for? Most Ts, including trauma therapists can’t offer a 24 hour crisis service and really, if you’re close to suicidal, hospital is where you need to be.

I texted her today and she said she was busy working and now she has stuff to do at home and sorry. I feel so alone.

Again, you may not like her response, but it’s honest - most people, including Ts, have things they need to do in their lives which mean they can’t be available when you’d like them to be. She could have ignored your text until her working hours again, which would have been terrible.

I mean, generally she sounds like her modality doesn’t suit working with trauma “the past is in the past” works well for lots of people with lots of issues but if you need to work through trauma, she isn’t the right person for you - you’re trying to sail the ocean in a tea cup. I’d echo other suggestions to find someone new and really explore their training and experience in working with trauma.

Be aware though that even the best trauma therapist isn’t likely to be available to you in crisis or when you’d like them to be. You need a wider support network than just your T.

 

[joeylittle]

I just don't think she takes me seriously. I texted her and told her that she doesn't know how close I am to killing myself and all she texted back was "if you're feeling that way please go to a hospital."

Were you testing her/looking to scare her into taking you more seriously?