Think I Might Have Ptsd

[John II]

Hi John - Do you really want to get better?

Yes. I think there is something insulting about that question (not that I'm hurt -- I'm pretty "thick-skinned" when it comes to internet discussions). I believe nearly everyone who are seriously sick want to get better, even when they're not doing exactly what you think they should be doing.

You said you're to fatigued to get out of the house on a regular basis to goto therapy. Don't you have a friend or family member that could drive you?

I don't. But aside from that my level of fatigue vary from day to day. Today is a "good" day, but some days I'm in bed most of the time, so I don't like making appointments at all if I can avoid it. And then my sleeping patterns are seriously off, and moreover, here (in Sweden) it's very difficult to get examined and then to get help -- getting my AS examination and diagnosis took about two years, and they said I was lucky. I know people who has tried unsuccessfully for years to get a therapist. In short, just getting a therapist takes a lot of time and energy. I'm also not sure it would actually help (I had a therapist 15 or so years ago, and it didn't help at all, although it wasn't PTSD-related.)

All these factors (and probably more) taken together indicate to me that it's not worth the effort. Effort is in fact something that makes my condition worse, I have to rest a lot.

However, I do see a professor of psychiatry once every 3-6 month and I thought I'd would mention PTSD next time and see what he says. He's not an expert in that particular area though, so I'm not aiming for an official diagnosis.

I agree with everyone else don't try and self-diagnose. Heather

Noted, I just don't agree. Guess we'll have to agree to disagree, as they say, on this particular point.

 

[John II]

Okay, one more post before I go offline. :)

There are so many problems with trying to be your own therapist.
You really need one or more very wise, trained mentors.
Certain ways of thinking and unhelpful ingrained behaviors can be a problem, they can be so familiar that a person can't even see it in themselves. In order to heal, a person needs to really work with a counselor.

In a side-by-side comparison between having a therapist and doing self-help, assuming all other things being equal, I don't doubt that having a therapist is better. However, all other things aren't equal, and trying to get an official examination and a therapist comes with all sorts of costs (see earlier posts).

We can provide a lot of comfort, assistance, and there are a lot of learning resources here... and you are most welcome to be here with us. But be prepared, we don't want to be substitute therapists, and we don't want to enable you to skip therapy :)

Don't worry about that. Like I said, right now it's this or nothing.

Thanks again.

Time to rest.

 

[deer_in_headlights]

Hi John,

I'm glad you see the professor! Hopefully he can give you guidance on how you can manage this.

Are you able to get assistance for your chronic fatigue other than resting? There are some really good IVs that are helpful.

Chronic fatigue and stress disorders tend to fit "hand in glove". There are a lot of stress-reduction techniques that can help.

I'm very sympathic with your plight, without going into "MY stuff" to explain why, you are being heard, and cared about.

_____
Rest well, John :)
I'm sorry we gave you a difficult time with your first thread... We really want the very best for you...
Please know you're most welcome to be here.

 

[cherryblossom]

Hello John

Welcome to the forum.

I understand your want/need of a diagnosis. But seriously, no-one here can diagnose you. Any number of us could read diagnostic criteria on any health/ mental health problem, and decide that we have some, if not all the symptoms. And therefore we must have such and such condition or disease. The internet, and all the information on it is brilliant, but it can also be dangerous. I understood your jest in your first post. If you had a physical health problem, I have no doubt that a lot of us look to the www, to find information and a possible diagnosis. But in the majority cases, there are multiple diagnosis for every symptom. So we then seek the guidance of a physician. They will take a thorough case history, and probably do a number of tests. It really is no different if you have psychological problems. Brains are probably the most complex and least fully understood organ of the human body, because the brain effects how we think and how we act. Yes, I'm sure the physiology of the brain is just as well researched as any other organ, but the process of cognition is less well understood.

If you are certain that you cannot seek professional assistance, what I would suggest is that you concentrate on your symptoms and ways to improve them. Just because one therapist in the past didn't help, doesn't mean a different therapist couldn't help you now. I find it quite hard to understand how you would be unable to get any proffesional help in a modern country in a modern world. However, I don't feel the need to discuss that, as it gets away from the point.

Deal with your symptoms. Take a good hard look at your life and try to identify the causes of your problems, and then try to deal with them. If you have a history of trauma, that is the cause of your symptoms then you need to face your trauma, open up to yourself, realise your emotions, and work on that area. If your issues are due to isolation, then work on those - force yourself out into the community. Do things that you enjoy, that will bring you into contact with like minded people. I think the most important thing here, is to be honest with yourself. Critically appraise yourself. What do you like about you? What don't you like? And what can you change, or try to change?

 

[Heather]

Hi John. I apologize. I knew when I asked the question that way I was probably going to provoke a strong response.

I live in the United States where it's a lot easier and faster to get treatment. I don't know anything about Sweden and what the health care system is like over there.

I still feel strongly that you need to take responsibility for your own recovery. Isolating yourself is NOT the answer. I agree with cherryblossom just because one therapist didn't help you in the past doesn't mean that another one can't help you now. It's trial and error.

If you are alone as you said, then if you're not willing to help yourself than who is? I wish you the best. Heather

 

[anthony]

Care to elaborate? As I'm not an expert on PTSD I may have brought up or emphasized the wrong symptoms.

What do you believe are the abnormally traumatic life event/s that allow you to get past the first two criterion for a PTSD Diagnosis.

You have skipped directly to symptoms... the trauma is the focal point here.

 

[John II]

Are you able to get assistance for your chronic fatigue other than resting? There are some really good IVs that are helpful.

I've tried some meds and maybe got some advice (not sure, I get info from all over the place), but that's it. Rest is really crucial, and also pretty hard and frustrating when you got a strong motivation to do things.

I'm very sympathic with your plight, without going into "MY stuff" to explain why, you are being heard, and cared about.

Thx.

I'm sorry we gave you a difficult time with your first thread...

I don't mind (the only thing I mind is getting no response at all), and it's not the first time I've held a "controversial" position.

 

[John II]

Hello John

Welcome to the forum. :)

Hi and thanks.

I understand your want/need of a diagnosis. But seriously, no-one here can diagnose you.

I just want to know what you think, I don't count it as a diagnosis. I don't see why you couldn't say if you think it sounds like PTSD or not, or ask additional questions if needed.

Any number of us could read diagnostic criteria on any health/ mental health problem, and decide that we have some, if not all the symptoms. And therefore we must have such and such condition or disease.

I don't think it's that easy to find a good match, and aside from the symptoms there has to be a reasonable explanation how you got the condition. If someone has the symptoms of poisoning but to his or her knowledge has had no exposure to that particular poison that obviously weighs against that diagnosis (but doesn't necessarily exclude it), or having the symptoms of PTSD but no traumatic past.

Like I said earlier I actually later was diagnosed with the two conditions I first found myself and then requested to have examined. I'm far from certain about PTSD, but I find it a reasonable enough hypothesis to explore some more.

Just because one therapist in the past didn't help, doesn't mean a different therapist couldn't help you now.

I agree of course. I just said I'm not certain therapy would help (which is different from saying I'm certain it won't).

Deal with your symptoms. Take a good hard look at your life and try to identify the causes of your problems, and then try to deal with them.

I'm here as a result of that process (not that I'm done).

If you have a history of trauma, that is the cause of your symptoms then you need to face your trauma, open up to yourself, realise your emotions, and work on that area.

I'm interested in learning more about specifics in this area. I already do a bunch of things though: meditation (esp. mindfulness), writing a diary, generally being introspective (trying to decide why I react a certain why to a certain event etc).

If your issues are due to isolation, then work on those - force yourself out into the community. Do things that you enjoy, that will bring you into contact with like minded people.

Although I think I'm too isolated I'm overall happy with my decision to isolate myself. I needed the rest and to cut off the rest of the world. I'm slowly getting to the point where I'm ready to break the isolation in small ways, but I always have to take into account the fatigue. Just talking to people is very exhausting and after a while I just get passive and unable to participate, and the exhaustion lingers.

I think the most important thing here, is to be honest with yourself. Critically appraise yourself. What do you like about you? What don't you like? And what can you change, or try to change?

No disagreement here.

 

[Seneca]

You have skipped directly to symptoms... the trauma is the focal point here.

That was basically what I was getting at, John. It's not the specific event that matters, just the fact that something did happen. Of course, it can take years to establish whether or not a trauma occurred (I know plenty of combat vets who downplay their experiences), but not all severe anxiety disorders need trauma as an explanation.

And whatever you do, don't "seek out" a diagnosis. I'm sure plenty of doctors will hand it over to anyone who uses the word "flashback" a lot. I think that might be what happened with me.

 

[John II]

I live in the United States where it's a lot easier and faster to get treatment. I don't know anything about Sweden and what the health care system is like over there.

It varies a lot depending on some things like what the medical condition is. It's very difficult to get anywhere with complex and chronic conditions like cfs, fm and Lyme. And ptsd. I've heard more horror stories about mistreatment and neglect than I can count, including severely suicidal people getting no help except trying a new SSRI (sometimes after having tried, and getting worse from, a bunch of these already) As recent as the other day I read the story of one deeply suicidal guy whose doctor would "discuss" with the team whether he should get a therapist.

Otoh if you brake a leg or get cancer I hear the health care is pretty good.

I still feel strongly that you need to take responsibility for your own recovery.

That's what I'm doing (even in this very moment) and have done for a long time, but there are limits to how much I can do.

Isolating yourself is NOT the answer.

I think isolation has a undeservedly bad reputation. Still, I feel I am too isolated and I'm considering ways to change that.

 

[Iam]

HI John II and welcome to the forum. I really am sorry that you are having such a difficult time. Self discovery and healing can be a very difficult path to take. You seem motivated on the one hand and yet you state that you are too tired to go to therapy.

I understand that, depression has sapped my energy too many times to count. That being said, if you are too exhausted to seek the help of a professional....then I can honestly state that you are also too exhausted to do the really tough work of healing. This has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life! Besides that, if you really have PTSD.....I guarantee you that you cannot help yourself out of it or even gain the skills to help manage the disorder. I tried for many years and sadly, it just doesn't work.

If you are serious about helping yourself, then find a good trauma therapist who can guide you in that process. Please don't take this as criticism, it's not at all. With the pain you are in you need a well trained and non-biased person to help because, as pointed out above, we can be completely oblivious to certain aspects of our personality, pain etc. etc. Also, denial plays a huge role in PTSD and I would imagine in other mental health conditions as well. You need someone to see thru that denial that knows how to ask the right questions so that you can discover the truth.

I remember years ago diagnosing my son's learning disabilities. My diagnosing actually got in the way of him getting proper help. It was obvious to me, and with my own disabilities causing bias, I was off base. Turned out my son's disabilities were multiple, but none were what I had myself thought. Thank God for a trained professional who figured all of it out.

The other problem, as someone else pointed out, with researching all these symptoms and definitions for dx's, you can actually talk yourself into some of the symptoms, go to a specialist and talk them into it as well just because you are so well informed. I am NOT saying that educating yourself is wrong, just that there is a time and place for it. I say this tongue in cheek, because I did what you are now doing. Though I was researching because 2 different T's had suggested that I had PTSD. So I researched it, once I learned what PTSD really meant for my life........ I went into denial and kept researching to try and prove to the dr.s and myself that I didn't have PTSD!

PTSD is not curable, only manageable so I really do hope that you have some different disorder that will be easier to deal with.

I wish you all the best John II and please know that we are here to support you in your search.

 

[John II]

What do you believe are the abnormally traumatic life event/s that allow you to get past the first two criterion for a PTSD Diagnosis.

You have skipped directly to symptoms... the trauma is the focal point here.

I think the symptoms are pretty important too, without them it's hardly ptsd. As for the trauma(s), I did mention in my first post that I grew up under "very difficult and traumatic circumstances" and that it was much more than I could deal with constructively. You're asking about the specific events, but I'm not sure what you are going to do with that information. To see if you think they are serious enough to cause ptsd? Not sure if I want to subject myself to that right now, as the topic is somewhat sensitive and complex. Believe me or not when I say it was traumatic.