Then send it into the world
Because sending it now, before you are done with therapy and stable enough to handle the rejection you may get from those you want to change is a huge risk. Your ptsd comes from public communication and rejection. What will you do if they take what you write and use it against you in a public forum simply to humiliate you again?
Ya...people are evil. If they did it once they will do it again
It might be better to be sure you have all the coping skills you will need in place before going down that road. Then when you do you can be confident that you are doing it for the right reasons no matter what the outcome.
op here. Thanks for the reply. I agree.
It is complex through. I actually think my instability from this trauma endures in large part because the truth never came out and I never got a sense of justice. That justice doesn’t mean the abuser admits to wrongdoing. For me, that justice comes from me telling the truth and them hearing it, even if they don’t accept it. Can you relate to that?
A relative who works as a licensed social worker and my psychologist both have told me that for some people, telling the truth and confronting your abuser is a key to begin the healing process. They agreed with me that there are risks as well. My relative told me it’s also common for people with chronic PTSD to focus on the worst case outcomes of confronting their abusers and going public.
I don’t have a clear answer for what’s best for me right now but these points are worth discussing.
My relative, the social worker, who knows me almost as well as my psychologist, said she believed full disclosure was the best thing for me. She said my worries of being abused online were reasonable but she also agreed with me when I said my brain is my adversary, not external forces.
I also spoke to an old professor about it. He never knew the truth until now and he was shocked. He has his own experience with behavioral health, and his view was ‘get the story out, turn it into a book, and name everyone of your abusers.’
I spoke with my psychologist about it again yesterday and he and I agreed we still don’t know what the best move is here. I’m moving forward with EMDR and I’ve found that talking about my trauma with my relative and my old professor made me feel relief, self-worth, and strength, though I did wake up today thinking of the trauma and feeling deflated. That has happened every morning for a few months.
It’s interesting, and it’s on me to decide in the end.
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