Relationship This Is What I'm Feeling Lately

[Deleted member 1860]

That wasn't fair of me to post. Don't take that on yourself.

It's ok, I didn't take it personally. I can feel sad without internalizing your struggle.

I think that you'll deal with losing her in your own way and in your own time. I believe your faith in love will perhaps one day be restored. Maybe not in the "love is enough" sort of way, but in a new way.

I think it's great that you tried your best to support her. But, I'd hate to see your sense of love destroyed by PTSD. PTSD tends to have enough "victims". It doesn't need one more.

 

[aj1]

I'd say my sense of love is not destroyed by PTSD. If anything I probably love more. I'll love her forever. I just realize she won't be returning it, and I have moved on. I'd been away for about a month and something brought me back here last night. I guess I keep coming back here as some look of support that I'm not alone. Yesterday I couldn't get her off my mind. This thread boiled me over. This song is brutal, and like @Solara said, its basically self punishment.

 

[Julesnaz]

Sorry, didn't mean to make anyone feel worse. I was just in a down mood and it kind of spoke to me. With my friend in super isolation mode and me having major depression, it just piled up too much I guess. Just wanted to share my feelings a bit.

 

[nursenurse]

It is a beautiful, haunting song, and there is nothing wrong with feeling. It's also the video that is memorable as well. Don't apologize, Jules,the song evokes feelings in everyone. Free to listen or not, and the feelings are not wrong.

 

[aj1]

Its just so hard.

 

[nursenurse]

aJ1, we have all been there, my heart goes out to you. Your feelings are you feelings, they are neither right nor wrong, they just are. You have to grieve the loss of any relationship no matter how it ended, before you can move on. There is no time frame. However, if you find that you are unable to take any steps forward, that it is stopping you from doing what you love, from living your ordinary life, then it is time for some counselling for you. You are worth taking care of yourself. The loss of a love can be devastating, but once the grieving starts to dissipate, it can be used as a learning experience, a chance for forgiveness of them, and most importantly, yourself. There is a big, beautiful world out there waiting for you when you are ready.

 

[aj1]

Thanks @nursenurse.

 

[aj1]

Sorry, didn't mean to make anyone feel worse. I was just in a down mood and it kind of spoke to me. With my friend in super isolation mode and me having major depression, it just piled up too much I guess. Just wanted to share my feelings a bit.

Sorry I hijacked your thread. You sure didn't make me feel worse. I was already there. The hardest thing for me is not being able to resolve this. It's not mine to fix, but you always think you could/should be able to help. It's like the song says, it was over my head.

 

[Snowangel1225]

My sufferer ended the relationship 2 months ago after a month long isolation so it's actually been 3 months since we've had any form of a relationship. I am moving on with my life and I do pretty well until this song comes on the radio. Sometimes I change the radio station, sometimes I listen to it and mourn the relationship that is apparently gone. I have to wonder if the person who wrote the song was dealing with a PTSD relationship because it is so spot on.

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear @Julesnaz , @aj1 , @nursenurse , @Snowangel1225 , it really is likely not personal. If you ask me if there is a song that describes both sides of a relationship with someone with ptsd, it could also be The Story of My Life by One Direction. Neither the supporter nor sufferer (as the sufferer realizes) can sometimes explain it but the sufferer knows. It doesn't help the supporter if the sufferer envisions (in other words as close as one can be to 'knowing') that their own ptsd is a lifetime deal and ultimately will leave their supporter unhappy too. They want them to have better. To be genuinely happy. Especially if their partner is a good person.

Hugs to all.