This Is Why I'm Angry At My Therapist!

[Heather]

I can see some of those problems within myself but have not yet been as open as you.

Believe me this has been a long time coming. Fortunately I have a therapist who is VERY patient and genuinely likes me and wants to see me get better.

I think when you are ready....you will do the work. This has been 20 years, that's a f**king a$$ long time. When I saw him today I told him I didn't want to do any work and could we play Connect 4 instead?

He said no that I told him I was ready to do the work necessary to "get better" and it was okay for him to push me a little to talk about things. I sat down and handed him the list of things I had written down that I wanted to talk about and we started. NO MORE AVOIDING. He won't allow it. He does his job because I let him do it.

You'll get there. Believe me if I CAN anyone can.

 

[allitherapy]

Heather,
I'm so proud of you, and I am happy to say... I told you so!

 

[anthony]

People normally just need a good swift kick in the arse to get them past the denial barrier. Once past it, the majority always see their own issues more clearly, via acceptance, and then choose to instigate listening to others who know more about things in this area. Well done... we all have to reach that point though, and now you can finally move forward. You will be quite surprised just how fast you will go forward once past that stumbling block.

The best way to get a person past denial, is directly challenge them, which makes them pissed off and angry, but 95% of the time, the person will see things for themselves when pushed towards the truth. You must get angry to accept the reality of something you don't want to accept otherwise, because the pain usually hurts too much to accept. Make it painful in the first instance, suddenly other pain can be quickly interpreted and reviewed, all by the persons self, without influence from a third party. The best outcome is when you find and solve your own problems, always has been. It is how person centered therapy came about decades ago, being that the person is more likely to accept a truth and change negative behaviours if they identify the issue themselves, and find the positives themselves, with only a little guidance from a third party. Effective... and that is what you did Heather.

Well done.

 

[Heather]

I told you so!

:):p​

Love you!​

 

[Iam]

Way to go Heather!!!! I am so very happy for you!

 

[Heather]

Can we get back to the whole ANGRY part?!! Of why I'm mad at my therapist?!

Does he think that I'm kidding when I call him and ask him to call me back and then leave a message with the secretary saying that I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO HIM TODAY BEFORE HE LEAVES. THAT I DON'T NEED TO SPEAK WITH HIM????!!!!!

This is the kind of sh*t that my therapist does that really pisses me off. It's been a really tough weekend emotionally. I feel myself spiraling down again, wanting to cut and it's something that should be addressed TODAY.

Never mind that I couldn't get an appointment until Friday. It's like he doesn't take me seriously. He's an @$$hole!

 

[anthony]

Now for the other side of the fence Heather... how about he is booked out all day, pushed to the limits by the end of the day, and just needs to down tools and rest before he snaps!

How about how many other patients are all ringing and making the same statements? Who is prioritized over who? Should a therapist just give up their life for the sake of every client? Should they sacrifice their health for the health of another? What happens if they break? Does it affect one or two, or does it affect many?

Do you pay to have extra access to your therapist as needed?

These are all valid arguments that reside on the other side of this problem. When do we feel that our own selfishness for help or assistance waivers the health of another? Is our emergency the immediate emergency of another? Why do hospitals prioritize to begin with? Is cutting going to kill you at the end of the day vs. another patient who is about to run their car off a bridge?

 

[Heather]

Is cutting going to kill you at the end of the day

No, it will not. You don't own any sugar in your house do you Anthony?;):p However, I get your point.

 

[anthony]

Yes... always need to be sweetened up...

I'm actually glad you do see the point, because its not something therapists enjoy typically, ie. they don't want a client to think they're ignoring them, but there are often many much more pressing issues for them, as well as their own health management. At the end of the day, it is business to them, and everyone must disconnect from their work.

Just being a therapist, listening to others trauma and problems as a job, takes a toll on them, and they must disconnect. Even if someone rings up saying they are suicidal, it adds another stressor to them and demand upon them. Its not common if a therapist gets such a phone call the most they will say is, ring this number (suicide hotline) or you need to attend your local hospital and tell them your suicidal, as they can help you, then stop answering any further calls.

The solution may simply be, the client just needs an ear to talk too for a while, but again... a therapist is a person, they have a life, they have a family, children, their own problems, they have lots of clients typically, and then they must manage it all as well as themselves. Talk with a therapist about it, and they will often relate it to a frustrating constant experiment that went wrong, yet the rewards of helping others sustains why they do it. A minority are for pure greed... but a majority like to help.