This Really Isn't Working

[Tinyflame]

Unless, I am just thinking, he wanted you to get more information or details from the flashback, or not interrupt it and see if you've buit some tolerance of it (exposure therapy of sorts). Versus if you were dissociated, then you would be just paying for nothing.

 

[Jane.l]

@Junebug - if I am back saying the same thing any time in the next few weeks can someone please tell me to move on and get out !

 

[Jane.l]

@Junebug - he says he was trying to get me to take the lead in getting myself out of the flashbacks and that he knows I can pull myself out of dissociating so he wants me to feel more confidence in doing that too - he now realises this back fired . I still think he may have had something else going on because he's normally a lot more on the ball .

It just scares me that I get so effected when therapy goes wrong it's like my life revolves around my therapy sessions it's all encompassing , overwhelming and I hate the vulnerability factor - still onwards and upwards

 

[Sally sue]

Wow! I'm so glad you emailed your T :) even though it's hard, and no matter which way it goes in the end, it's good relationship practice ARGH there's so much risk in loving and depending on others :(

 

[Tinyflame]

@Jane.l , I guess in retrospect I would say if I never tried or hung on through what seemed impossible or too firghtening or pointless, I would never have learned new things, opened up more, or overcame anything.

Just my experience, but sometimes I feel, (or perhaps rather expect of myself?) 'healing' as it were is dependent on a given moment. I think, that is, that subconsciously I am hoping that everything will be 'done' and reconciled, finally and completely, with one more effort, one more event or realization. (Or even conversely 'ignoring it', one more time.) But it won't be, it can't be. It's a journey with lots of steps. It's hard to learn how to run when just learning how to successfully take a baby step. I am learning to see each little step is a victory in itself. That's all I need, to keep making even the smallest step in the right direction. You are too. :) :tup: If I acknowledge it (for myself) as what it is, something not thought possible (say, were I paralyzed), I can see it as a Big accomplishment. If I expect to run 10 miles, I will feel very defeated and discouraged.

:hug: