Thoughts About Being Bisexual.

[LaraGeel]

@Ayesha

I have no problems with people that are Bi-Sexual, cause I am in a way an I.N.T.P. core based person : Yes, I am introvert and I am not busy about people and take them for who they are. So much as I possible can. I am a thinker and normally a problem-solver and builder : As in System-Builder / Programmer / Analyst ... and so on. I go to construct and create something.

I am a lesbian with a little 'bi', based on my Gender-Identity. I have / see more problems with people around me on me.

Let me say I've loved in a way another transexual/transgender person : SHE was very feminine (but cold), I know her with her men's body and I've supported her in Thailand in 2008 for what she needed in surgeries. She was a border-liner, but I always saw her as a female. Recently it turned out she is a lesbian, so things can change, but she had earlier a boy-friend. Did I had sex with her for surgeries : No. But I did some things what I've so cute to see, when she did Webcam-sex to get her money in. Do I dare to talk about it : yes (in some way and it depends with who). But the other side can have trouble with it.

I understand you need to talk about all what is YOU in fact; also that Bi-sexual feelings you have. It can be more crazy (or normal) somebody is pan-sexual and can fall in love with everybody. Such people exists too.

My dad, he can't always hear my problems and all about the transsexual/transgender stuff. But if you take it with joke or on a funny way ... there is some breakthrough. But nobody really understands my deep feelings and problems I see, or it is flattened with a kind of a same story that people also laugh with him. You see ... as I know through sources we are even not believed at all, do we exist for society (?) - Society has problems with us, yes.

Your husband can be afraid you change by just talking about it I guess. As it is 'Okay I know it now ... but please ....'. Maybe it annoys him ? Or having ideas you want a 3-some with him or somebody else. You are his babe ... the only one and maybe said " it's okay you are Bi-sexual, for so long I have you. ".

I tried one time to explain to my parents why I couldn't come out earlier, cause female hormones working better when you are younger. As I tried to explain my mother that because of her Nervous Breakdown at 7 and maybe a whole family in problems : Father building/renovating house, I was in the dust, some neighbors who drove my parents crazy ... And I know I have some memories being slammed with a belt on my butt : This all could lead to sub-conscious not daring to come out. My mom told somebody to dad, maybe not understand me (but she is sick in a way, lives the past), my dad reacted : " We always fed you up as it should be ! ". Mid 30, my mom said : " If you want to be yourself, I kill myself " (Emotional blackmailing). Some years ago my sister outed to my parents that she had a girlfriend for 2 years, but scared my mom will have also a Nervous Breakdown or Taking a bit more sleeping pills and after some days as with me ended in hospital. I didn't know a thing about my sister, but my mom told me : " We didn't told you cause of your big mouth that she will loose her job with the police with that. ". Later she doesn't know a thing about those words.

Yup; getting the guilt for nothing ... I am a problem for her for a not known reason.

" I feel like being silent about it does not help being open about feelings in a relationship and in a marriage talking and communication are a very big deal. " - Indeed, as running to a wall ... or a feeling it is not welcome. Till a bomb explodes ... with all consequences.

" My own life experiences and having PTSD caused me to look more into my sexuality in order to heal. " - It depends, can you fall in love with another woman, or having only sex counts and you can play with them ?

Lara.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Or having ideas you want a 3-some with him or somebody else.

I never said this nor do I think my husband thinks this.

It depends, can you fall in love with another woman, or having only sex counts and you can play with them ?

I am not that fickle to play with people. Also I have no intention of cheating, I am not looking for and nor do I seek out women.

 

[Lesmall]

Hi,

I've never considered myself bisexual before. I always thought I was a straight girl who liked guys. End of story. But a few months ago I fell in love with my best friend. She is 12 years older than me and married with two kids.

I was raped when I was 14, and I suppose in some way yes, that probably has contributed to this. I have found it much easier and more intimate to be with her than to be with any guys after the rape. I felt safe, special and loved with her. Neither of us had ever thought about girls that way, so it came as a bit of a shock for us both. Right now it's difficult because we live a long way away from each other and I miss her like crazy. But the distance may very well be a good thing until we figure out what the hell we're going to do.

But I guess my point is that I don't think there's anything wrong with being bisexual. I'm only just coming to terms with it myself, but I think it is better to be open with yourself and your husband about the way you feel. I don't know if what I've said helps you at all, or is even applicable. I'm just trying to share my experiences in the hope that it will help you make sense of your feelings.

Just holler if you ever need anything <3

Laura

 

[betterlife]

Maybe you are open minded sexually more then him at this moment in time and since you are in a relationship, and supposedly in relationships you share and care about the thoughts, feelings, comforts and cares of your partner primary, for it to work correctly you might want to think of suggesting a 3 way with another girl??

Maybe you can ask if he has fantasies? Haha just a thought...jeez...I always thought I could handle a girl open minded like that...spicy..wild...jeez I could just watch....I could marry happily a wild good fun healthy girl. I get a lot of intimacy mentally from a woman and sex is just a great sweet fun yummy bonus. I want to do it well with her on one and one situations but I imagine my women is going to be a little bit of a wild one and I like that with ideas that are not completely locked down vanilla.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

@betterlife I can't say I find your response to be very appropriate.

I will repeat again: I am not cheating. There will be no 'three way'. My husband and I would never agree or do that. I am not interested in those kinds of things.

I do not understand why it is assumed I would be just becasue of my sexual preferences.

 

[billie]

Fair call @Ayesha I get a bit of that stigma when I am introduced to another gay girl with the whole you guys are both gay you should get together!! oh dear....

 

[betterlife]

My first warning yipppeee...the first amendment sucks ..no one believes in it...

 

[BloomInWinter]

@betterlife, as a person, I find your comments juvenile, disgusting, sexist, and inappropriate. As a moderator, you took this thread off-topic and that is not ok. That you used this thread to engage in an inappropriate, lewd, sex-based boundary violation is, in my opinion, completely out of bounds.

The first amendment does give you freedom of speech but only as an American in the U.S. This forum is based out of Australia. Nor does the first amendment give you permission to say what you say on the internet in someone else's forum. If you're going to cite the constitution of the United States it would be helpful if you could remember that this forum has an international audience. Start your own thread if you wish to debate freedom of speech.

Personally, not as a moderator, I think you owe Ayesha - and the rest of us - an apology for your completely inappropriate remarks in this forum. This is intended to be a safe place for people to recover and share without being used as a tool for someone else's sexual pleasure.

 

[betterlife]

I apologize for making someone angry. But in no way was I trying. I just need to remember there are people more sensitive then I am on certain subjects. I was just trying to use my life and ideas as a way for someone else to think of concepts ideas they have not thought about. I live in a liberal town. You can say nearly anything and not piss someone off. She is sharing stuff about her personal life and sexual ideas. And it is bad for me to do the same and try to share and relate. But, maybe I can only relate in the way you find appropriate. Maybe I need to have perfect responses so not to make you feel a feeling you felt when reading what I said. But I did not pick on anyone. I was just trying to share and hope to help someone. Again sorry to offend. I learned.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

making someone angry

Not angry. You just made me uncomfortable and I think that would made a lot of people uncomfortable.

I apologize

Accepted.

She is sharing stuff about her personal life and sexual ideas.

Personal yes with me basically 'coming out'. 'Ideas' I don't agree with. A few (recent) members got into ideas but that was not my idea. Their choice of course...

But, maybe I can only relate in the way you find appropriate.

Nothing wrong with opinions but there such a thing as personal space.

the first amendment sucks ..no one believes in it...

The warning you got was for grammar and not about me disagreeing with what you wrote. If you have any questions about the warning please ask in the help desk.

Best wishes.

 

[rightkindofme]

Maybe time to lock this thread? I didn't think @betterlife was that far out of bounds. That's how my friends and I talk to one another and no disrespect is intended. We all have some pretty extremely diverse backgrounds and I'm not sure that any more helpful sharing will happen in this thread.

I'm sorry unintentional hurt was felt.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I'm only just coming to terms with it myself, but I think it is better to be open with yourself and your husband about the way you feel.

I agree. It feels healthy, honest and gaining acceptance.