Three options, no good choice

[FauxLiz]

I am stuck trying to find my way and a new T and I have reached a point where I feel as though I have three options none of which are good. The first is to continue therapy with a T that I don't really feel a connection to/comfort with (after 3-4 sessions) trying to push through and continue to work on that because he is able to schedule appointments that fit my work/life schedule. The second option is to continue therapy with a T that I have met a couple of times, feel comfortable with but in no way in the foreseeable future am I able to schedule appointments that don't require I use at least 1/2 day of vacation due to distance to his office. The third choice is to quit therapy for now, see how things go, and continue to try down the line to find someone that I am comfortable with that can also accommodate my schedule.

I really hate myself right now for accepting the job that I did this past summer moving away from the metro areas that I lived in as I find myself unable to find a new therapist, new GP and still traveling back at least once a month to see specialists.

 

[mylunareclipse]

I am in a semi similar situation here.

Are you able to take half a day off so you can see the T that you like? If that's not an option then maybe see the T that's convenient for now (if it's not too expensive) try to get some sort of support until you can find a better T?

I am also in between different therapists, right now I am just sticking with someone I don't feel a particular connection too after 1 month but he feels safe enough close proximity and covered by insurance. We are dealing with general life stuff until I can move onto my next job and hopefully find a more permanent solution.

Either way I know it's a hard decision! Good luck

 

[ButterflyBean]

Just throwing other options out for you to consider; not sure if any are doable. Is there an option to move back or ask your former T for a referral? Could you see him once a month for now (better than nothing at all while still having some comfortable support) when you travel back to see your other providers? Also, have you ever thought about online therapy? Not the same as in-person but might be something to help you get by until you can find someone else to work with face-to-face.

 

[Justmehere]

The second option is to continue therapy with a T that I have met a couple of times, feel comfortable with but in no way in the foreseeable future am I able to schedule appointments that don't require I use at least 1/2 day of vacation due to distance to his office

Another idea: possibly asking for flexible scheduling at work. It is a covered ADA accommodation. Flexible Schedule as Reasonable Accommodation Not sure if it would work out with your workplace, but might be worth considering.

Still, not stellar options. It stinks. I'm oddly limited here too.

 

[FauxLiz]

Moving back is not an option at least not for the better part of a year. I had a referral from my previous T but was an absolute disaster that took me to the edge of suicide losing a 1/2 of work a week isn't an option and my former T is maintaining strict boundaries that we have terminated treatment. That it would not be helpful to potentially re-engage sentimental attachments. I have attempted online and teletherapy but neither worked for me, I refuse to work with poorly trained counselors with no experience with trauma and miserably undefined boundaries.

I am trying really hard not to have to ask for accommodations with this position as ultimately I already have a flexible schedule as an exempt employee but it is a very small office/organization and I have what is considered a high profile position. I am reaching the six month mark in this position and honestly I don't know if I can keep this up long term.

 

[Justmehere]

The other option is to go with the therapist that has a better time spot, which would eliminate the stress of scheduling, which may have it's own benefit... and work on what is uncomfortable with that therapist. Frankly, good trauma therapy often feels uncomfortable. And yet.... there is the kind of discomfort that is healthy to endure, and the kind that just isn't. But, the therapists that I have clicked with, it didn't happen quickly. Then again, my own treatment path is a mess....

I am trying really hard not to have to ask for accommodations with this position as ultimately I already have a flexible schedule as an exempt employee but it is a very small office/organization and I have what is considered a high profile position. I am reaching the six month mark in this position and honestly I don't know if I can keep this up long term.

High level positions in small towns are a challenge. Yet, it's also pretty common that folks have a meeting they need to attend out of the office every week. If you had a medical condition that required the same time away for a doctor's visit once a week, would you have the same hesitation? Maintaining it long haul is hard though. I get that.

Perhaps you can pick an option for now, and reassess in a month.

The options are not ideal. I hear ya. I'm wrestling through my own less than ideal treatment options and considering even no treatment. It's one of the many crappy things about having a condition like this in a place where quality treatment is not plentiful, but it is time and resource consuming.

 

[hithere]

I did what your first choice is; to continue workiing with a therapist that i didn't feel any sense of comfort from.. This was the biggest mistake of my life. It's been said on here many times, no therapy is better than bad therapy. I can't agree more.

 

[grit]

one option could be to see the therapist you like less time...like twice a month or once a month rather than every week so you do not miss so much work.

 

[Abstract]

but in no way in the foreseeable future am I able to schedule appointments that don't require I use at least 1/2 day of vacation due to distance to his office

What about doing a face time session 3 times a month? I know its not ideal but if one of the options is nothing then its worth considering. Have you spoken to the t about this?

 

[FauxLiz]

@grit I could see someone less often but honestly I am struggling as it is with the reduction to once a week and then two months of holiday vacations/breaks so no one in their offices

@Abstract i tried telehealth/video sessions with the T I terminated a few months ago it was awful I couldn’t tell if there was someone else in the room or how private the setting was and as a result I just couldn’t trust anything the process, the T, or me. Maybe once a stable relationship is built I would try it again but not at the start.

 

[Abstract]

lt I just couldn’t trust anything the process, the T, or me. Maybe once a stable relationship is built I would try it again but not at the start.

Oh that makes total sense. Remember that the last one was horrible and you not trusting was a normal reaction to the situation. Is there any way you could make this a priority and make space for it for 3 or so sessions to get you going then try?

 

[FauxLiz]

@Abstract i am trying to make it a priority. I have two sessions scheduled for tomorrow one with each of the two T and have tentative additional sessions scheduled with both in the following weeks. Based on how tomorrow goes I am going to have to make some sort of decision for moving forward with one as insurance says they won’t continue to pay for two and I don’t think it is a good idea either. One I have seen twice before the other three times.

I am not completely out of options I am on the waiting list for another potential T and my new Pdoc has recommended someone at his clinic but I am reluctant to go that way as I really don’t like the idea of not have my T and Pdoc compartmentalized from each other even if I didn’t authorize them to talk they would be able to see each other’s record notes.