To Let Him In?

[Pakadlangitok]

I have a friend who I used to date before I had PTSD. He is so kind to me, but I have been through other relationships I could not keep because of the PTSD and other issues. He, too, was abused though as a child. Very sad, but he has gotten to a place where he is more stable. He is very loving despite his own issues.

I am so torn. I know no one can tell me what to do but I want to post as this progresses.

I told him about this site and hope he may join as a supporter.

Can two PTSD survives ever have a relationship? His empathy is so strong. It's been 25 years since we dated so we are mature now.

 

[NicG]

It's good to hear you've found someone understanding who has a lot of empathy with you... and who knows what you've been through, to some extent at least. An empathetic friend is SO valuable!

Obviously it depends on your exact situation but, if he is indeed stable, I think if you make each other happy then good for you!!
That said, it seems like it would also be important to make sure that one of you having an off day won't lead to the other partner having a worse day? Depends on how strong your boundaries are and whether you could be dragged down by him having an off day, or if it will help you be kinder to him/maybe even yourself.

 

[cherryblossom]

I think it's very possible for 2 PTSD survivors to have a relationship. You both understand what each other has been through, and is still going through.

I think it could take a lot of work on both your parts, but if you love each other, there is no reason why you couldn't figure it out. Honesty, and setting boundaries that you can both live by would probably be a big part of whether the relationship worked out or not.

He sounds like a good man. Why not take it slowly, and see what happens? It sounds like you both deserve some happiness in your lives.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Yes....and No...

I think that some sufferers can thrive in a relationship with another sufferer, whereas others cannot. I think it's highly individualized.