All the men in my family, save one cousin (who actually works for Veteran's Affairs lol) are military, and not one of them was ever abusive to anyone as far as I know. (Other than my father's meltdown of course, but that was very out of character...) They are all gentle and kind. So I agree with what everyone else is saying, the man you were with would probably have been a creep, whether he was military or not. One of my friends was with a guy who extremely active in the peace coalition, very modern and PC apparently, and everyone liked him. However, now he's in jail for raping a 10 year old girl. And he used to beat up my friend too. So you never know, really.
