Today, My Husband Messaged Me With This...

[Riot]

My husband messaged me today from work. I don't know how I feel about this, or what to even say.

When I say that I wish I can help you, it's because I feel like you are in a box. A box filled with levers and switches that change function randomly. I am outside this box, and occasionally you'll hit a button that'll open a window of a hole in this box where I can see you or touch you. Other times, a switch will cause something to hit me. I know you are trying to get out and doing what you can, and that when you do hurt me, it's not intentional. I yearn for the day the box will fall away, and I can see my strong and beautiful wife again.

 

[Nicolette]

Sounds to me like he is missing you and trying to express his frustration while acknowledging it is the PTSD and not you which sometimes hurts him. I get it coming from a male supporter's point of view but I can appreciate that it may not be received well by someone suffering PTSD. I hope it's well received if that's his intent?!

 

[Casey_03]

If I received that message, I would also be unsure quite how to feel about it. But it seems like he's actually put a lot of thought into it, into trying to come up with an analogy to make you understand how he feels. That speaks of pretty strong devotion right there, and the fact he is trying so hard to communicate with you is commendable. Especially because without communication about the PTSD, things would probably fall apart. I think you should use this message to really try to see things from his perspective and think about how he must feel sometimes, then tell him about that. Just be open. Tell him exactly what you've told us.

 

[Riot]

@Nicholette, @Casey_03, thanks for the replies. I pretty much thought it was truly stunning until the last part. It may just inherently be a difference between men and women, there, and less to do with PTSD.

 

[Tinyflame]

Actually, I thought the end sounded most honest, though I understand it can be painful to read.

I think it sounds like you both could use some sweet/ fun/ romantic time together.

:hug:

 

[Riot]

@Junebug

I'd like him to see that there is strength and beauty in struggle, too. Fighting this battle makes me feel awful, but on the whole much more self capable. I do feel like it could've been worded better. That being said, we have a beautiful marriage, and it's all good on that front. He's been a great supporter so far. :)

 

[Nicolette]

I'd like him to see that there is strength and beauty in struggle, too

There is, but there is no joy watching a loved one struggle.... I think that's the point ;)

 

[Riot]

I yearn for the day the box will fall away, and I can see my strong and beautiful wife again.

@Nicolette, it really just sounds like he implies I'm not strong and beautiful right now. I'm over it now, but I did explain my perspective. I'm pretty big on people using words they mean and how they mean it, if possible. It's not irrevocable, but it did sting. :P

 

[Nicolette]

it really just sounds like he implies I'm not strong and beautiful right now.

Agreed, it can be taken it that context. In the spirit of the rest of the message, I'd hope you cut him a bit of slack as I doubt a lot of males would ever write something like that. He loves you :inlove:

 

[Riot]

@Nicolette, no doubt, no doubt. This is just my designated corner of private and personal thoughts to vent my spleen at. We actually had a really good night once he came home. :)

 

[Milo's papa]

@Junebug

I'd like him to see that there is strength and beauty in struggle, too. Fightin...

Riot, coming from a male supporter who is deeply, madly, and passionately in love with his sufferer it doesn't sound to me as though he doesn't see the beauty in you. It sounds like he misses you, and is anxious to have you back.

Sometimes, as human beings we read more into things than there really is. If this is causing you pain or anxiety, talk to him about it. Find out exactly what he meant by his message. I have a strong feeling that you'll find he's lonely for you.

You're right, this is your place to vent and ask others their opinion on what is going on in your life. We're all here for the same purpose, support. and you have mine.

 

[Riot]

Thank you, @Milo's papa. I'm recognizing it for what it is. I realize feelings on both sides can be pretty irrational. I do feel incredibly lucky to have him in my life. He's a wonderful, wonderful man.