Sideways
Moderator
If you've never been very good at advocating for yourself, or saying "I'm not going to put up with this", or knowing when you need to do that, how do you figure out what side effects from your medication you should tolerate, and when side effects have become unreasonable.
For example:
Hair loss - makes me feel very self conscious, but isn't actually a threat to my physical or mental health by itself;
Weight gain - the medication is potentially helping prevent DID parts taking over, as well as contributing to keeping chronic SI at manageable levels, but the weight gain is now feeding self-loathing, which in turn is feeding both SI and social isolation;
Sweating - leaving seats damp, even in air conditioning, making me incredibly self conscious about going out and interacting with people who might notice that; the sweating is seriously disgusting;
Increased anxiety - from medication helping to manage SI
They're the big ones that are taking a big toll. There's others, like jaw clenching (probably contributing to regular nasty headaches).
My pdoc is (highly) resistant to reducing my meds because of my history of SI. But the daily toll of the side effects is pretty bad. I'm taking medication to combat the side effects, but those meds have their own side effects...
When I started treatment 12 years ago, some of these things were absolutely unacceptable. But now, every time I suggest reducing my meds with my pdoc, I back down, without really making any argument in my favour.
I've now got yet another prescription for meds that will reduce the sweating, but have side effects of its own (dry mouth - I already drink 3L of water a day), as well as potential stroke from exercising in heat. But I can't afford to stop exercising in heat, because of the weight gain from other meds.
I feel like I've ended up with medication side effects that I would never have agreed to had I known the side effects. But...I'm not sure if demanding (yuk - I don't "demand" things) a medication reduction is reasonable...??
For example:
Hair loss - makes me feel very self conscious, but isn't actually a threat to my physical or mental health by itself;
Weight gain - the medication is potentially helping prevent DID parts taking over, as well as contributing to keeping chronic SI at manageable levels, but the weight gain is now feeding self-loathing, which in turn is feeding both SI and social isolation;
Sweating - leaving seats damp, even in air conditioning, making me incredibly self conscious about going out and interacting with people who might notice that; the sweating is seriously disgusting;
Increased anxiety - from medication helping to manage SI
They're the big ones that are taking a big toll. There's others, like jaw clenching (probably contributing to regular nasty headaches).
My pdoc is (highly) resistant to reducing my meds because of my history of SI. But the daily toll of the side effects is pretty bad. I'm taking medication to combat the side effects, but those meds have their own side effects...
When I started treatment 12 years ago, some of these things were absolutely unacceptable. But now, every time I suggest reducing my meds with my pdoc, I back down, without really making any argument in my favour.
I've now got yet another prescription for meds that will reduce the sweating, but have side effects of its own (dry mouth - I already drink 3L of water a day), as well as potential stroke from exercising in heat. But I can't afford to stop exercising in heat, because of the weight gain from other meds.
I feel like I've ended up with medication side effects that I would never have agreed to had I known the side effects. But...I'm not sure if demanding (yuk - I don't "demand" things) a medication reduction is reasonable...??