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Other Trauma-Splitting/Parts

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Roland

MyPTSD Pro
Hello everyone.

When I had my psychological evaluation, it was determined that my personality is split, not like DID, but like trauma splitting, common for people with childhood trauma and ptsd. One is a direct mirror of my dad (this showed on my psych eval), this part is narcissist, schizoid, antisocial, masochist, and turbulent. It's are self-defense coping mechanisms. The narcissist one shows up when I feel threatened, especially by men. I also have a suicidal part.

I'd like to discuss one that I believe is a part, I just don't understand how it works. When I'm around groups of people, I assert social dominance, by being loud, acting kinda crazy, like a clown. I make fun of people, everything is a joke, etc. This is NOT my main personality. In general, I'm a relatively quiet person, I only really act crazy like that in groups of people, I feel anxious and don't really know the people and act like that.

Those of you that have studied or done parts work, why would I do that? How is that helpful? What would have "made" that personality split? I just don't really understand it, and it didn't come up in my psych eval. Though, "Expressively dramatic" did come up, which is definitely a part of that "crazy part". Like if I have a minor injury on my foot I'll be like "I'm gonna cut my foot off, it's on fire!" and if I'm in severe mental pain I'm just silent, like I internalize everything, but if I can turn it into a joke than I'll definitely be "Expressively dramatic".

@shimmerz I know you may have some valuable insight
 
Hey so @Roland, these all look like great insights. I am wondering, what are you HOPING you can be in a group? Not what you don't want to be but what you DO want to be. Do you have an inkling about that yet?
 
Have you been evaluated for BPD? One factor of BPD that a lot of people don't realize is that it can in some cases be so severe that it looks like DID. Here's an article on intersections and distinctions.
BPD was ruled out because I have avoidant personality disorder. BPD is relatively balanced with dependence and avoidance where I’m highly avoidant. I don’t have DID, I have trauma splitting though.

Hey so @Roland, these all look like great insights. I am wondering, what are you HOPING you can be in a group? Not what you don't want to be but what you DO want to be. Do you have an inkling about that yet?
I guess myself, I don’t know how to talk or express myself in a group without feeling threatened.

Have you been evaluated for BPD? One factor of BPD that a lot of people don't realize is that it can in some cases be so severe that it looks like DID. Here's an article on intersections and distinctions.
They really do overlap a lot though
 
I should problem recap this in my trauma diary since I keep adding to this thread.

But another observation: I feel completely comfortable with groups of children. Around adults, it depends, typically fine, sometimes I feel inferior.

HOWEVER, only my peers bring out this fear/clown reaction type situation.
 
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