Trauma that gives you PTSD symptoms VS trauma that breaks you

[GiantSquid]

I think I know the difference. I have experienced two kinds of traumatic events in my life. First category is for events which were terrible and traumatic but I could live with them and through them, although I was no longer the same person. The second category is something I feel in my bones it's not survivable, and I have known it since the event happened. It's the sort they describe in biographies "X happened and she never recovered from it".
I have had one additional category 1 trauma after the brain breaking event. Even though most of my thoughts are occupied with recent trauma and most of my symptoms are clearly caused by it, the brain breaking event is still there underneath. Even when my newest trauma feels horrible and devastating, there is still a tiny spark of hope and a feeling it might ease somewhat, someday. There is nothing like it with type 2.

 

[Avocado]

Re-enacting takes its toll.
As a child, there was no escape and thus helplessness. The child doesn’t choose the situation, but was ushered into it.
As an adult, the pain looks more like trusting the self and others, only to be met with the same deadly patterns.
If one was manipulated and had shattered trust as a child?
This person will be manipulated and will have trust shattered as an adult.

But now there’s the layer of adult responsibility.
In this example, the adult has been manipulated and their trust in others and themselves is broken.
And because the adult is not a child, it will be their fault and responsibility, even though much of what is going on is unconscious.
Even though being victim to multiple manipulations and betrayals shouldn’t make the sufferer the ‘unstable’ or ‘mad/crazy’.

Even though being on the receiving end of manipulations often is thought of as the person “not responsible.”
Right. They’re not responsible, unless their life is a broken record of manipulative abuse.
Now all the sudden, it’s somehow become this persons responsibility.

If sufferers don’t get better at learning to be more careful with trust and spotting manipulations and liars, or whatever is at the source of the ‘trauma that breaks you’, they will be doomed to repeat the harms of the past.
Harms where there already are scars.

Re-enacting is slashing into the scar tissue of old and deep wounds, then rubbing the exposed bloody flesh in salt.

Living a life with damaged trust is painful.
Living life while trusting too much is painful if that is what is at the core of the “breaks you” trauma.
Living life with zero trust is unfortunately not possible or sustainable.
Good luck figuring that mess out.

PTSD and re-experiencing is a catch 22.
It feels like no matter how much one learns, works on oneself, and improves, life can and will take away one’s support systems, remove safety cues, and add stress and activate triggers. This overwhelming pressure, and feeling of helplessness despite years of work and best efforts, that is what re-enacting is. And when the PTSD sufferer’s cup is full and the trigger goes off? The aftermath is the sufferer’s responsibility.

When the person with PTSD can’t be a Superhuman, if this person can’t do ‘good enough’, if there is one slip, one moment of giving into the temptation of a trigger- which is often not a choice (see the cups explanation), the sufferer is shoved back into a personal hell. This is beyond frustrating.
And it’s still PTSD sufferer’s responsibility for not doing better.

CPTSD is not just a mental health condition. It’s not just brains misfiring, or the guts reading the room wrong, or a misfiring nervous system.
Medications may help some people with symptoms, but that’s not at the heart of the issue. It’s not at the core of PTSD and they will never ‘solve’ the problem.

Life with CPTSD and PTSD is living with a curse. And some curses are damn near impossible to break.

 

[gorgonzola]

As an adult, I've experienced the kind of trauma that breaks you. I have no idea how to deal with it or what to do. Nothing seens to help. I don't even have the words for it. I don't even know what it is. I feel like I died inside.

The kind that, if you were to explain the details you'd be asked how the hell you survived and the answer would be simple: that you didn't?

That you lack continuity of consciousness beyond a certain point back in time?

 

[ags1]

Growing up, I experienced the kind of trauma that gives you PTSD. It was awful but it made sense. The symptoms made sense, the treatment made sense.

...

Prior to this, I didn't even realise there was a category of trauma worse than what gives you PTSD.

It makes sense tho, if I look at it historically. I know people going through catastrophic trauma can have reactions other than PTSD symptoms. You hear of people whose hair goes white over night, or who go mute for the rest of their lives or who have a psychotic break from the experience of the trauma.

...

Have you experienced both kinds of trauma and trauma response?

I have had psychotic episodes in my life following stressful events, but I wouldn't say those events were worse than the childhood stuff that gave me CPTSD. The childhood events were far worse, and while I didn't go psychotic during them, I think they gave me the vulnerability I have now as an adult for psychosis.

It was the same for my mom. A childhood lost in Stalin's concentration camps and as a refugee orphan gave her an adult "schizophrenia" diagnosis.

 

[Symphony S]

Growing up, I experienced the kind of trauma that gives you PTSD. It was awful but it made sense. The symptoms made sense, the treatment made sense.

As an adult, I've experienced the kind of trauma that breaks you. I have no idea how to deal with it or what to do. Nothing seens to help. I don't even have the words for it. I don't even know what it is. I feel like I died inside.

Prior to this, I didn't even realise there was a category of trauma worse than what gives you PTSD.

It makes sense tho, if I look at it historically. I know people going through catastrophic trauma can have reactions other than PTSD symptoms. You hear of people whose hair goes white over night, or who go mute for the rest of their lives or who have a psychotic break from the experience of the trauma.

I've always assumed that kind of massive trauma response only happens in situations like experiencing a genocide or having your entire village wiped out by a tsunami and you're the sole survivor and everything you've previously known is gone.

But it seems it can happen due to other causes too.

Have you experienced both kinds of trauma and trauma response? In yourself or others?

What is this other type of trauma? When I research trauma, all I really find is the "normal" PTSD causing kind.

I feel like I lack an entire vocabulary to talk anout this other kind of trauma.

Is it more common in military/ war related trauma?

Look up Complex PTSD or CPTSD to see if it fits

If CPTSD doesn't fit it could be a number of different diagnosis. See a professional for the accurate diagnosis. Each one has different symptoms and treatment plans. Wish you the best.