I was never the most social person but at my previous job I was badly humiliated and even ostracized. Some management even seemed in on it. If I made a mistake it would be put on the board above the break room to keep my name fresh in peoples mind(i assume that was the purpose NOBODY else ever had that treatment). I had an ego and thought if I quit I give them what they want so I endured it for months until I could no longer tolerate it. To this day idk what exactly was being said about me, but I was ostracized and by the end pretty much no one would speak to me. The anxiety veered into paranoia, kept my drink in eyesight to avoid being poisoned, thought the maintenance guys would booby trap my area to kill me, that's how bad it got.
Around 6 months later I feel like I can probably work again. No therapy or meds, just mediation and time and gym to force myself to leave the house. I'm very introverted at the new job and QUICKLY run into issues. I just want to do my damn job and go home, but I'm on a team that stands around talking all day and wants to try really hard to get me out of my shell, which has the complete opposite effect. One guy in particular keeps putting his arm around me and stuff like that despite me repeatedly saying to stop, very annoying to me because hes also made disrespectful comments. I just ignore for the most part. I think the guy takes it personal I'd rather just keep to myself and work then socialize. Anyway: anxiety at work (from previous job) + anxiety in a group + anxiety from this guy making me uncomfortable leads to a really bad looking situation for me. In a group he asks about my old job and what I used to do and I pretty much freeze thinking about it. Start talking about a different job I had before the previous job but I was so f*cking nervous and it was obvious. They even asked if I was an undercover cop because of how it seemed. I never explained the previous trauma of my old job or anything maybe I should have. I already looked like a wimp for not really standing up for myself as much as I should have, but it looks WAY worse now. Guess a lot of people are calling me gay or something like that now from the bits I've gathered. My strategy is just to play dumb and act like nothing is wrong (I did the same thing at the old job too). They don't realize I actually notice everything and have a pretty good idea whats going on probably while thinking I'm a total dumb ass. One guy even pointed at me and said 'maybe they were talking about that John' before quickly walking away (two guys I had never met btw). Because there's someone with the same name as me. Prior to the old job the only social anxiety I had really was talking to attractive women, but now its anyone and everyone at work pretty much. Just going up to ask a question feels nerve wracking now. I HAVE mentioned to co-workers I'm not the most social person and don't get out much.
Anyways how do I navigate this best? The current social situation might be even worse than the previous job in some ways and my anxiety is pretty ridiculous at the new job already. I feel nervous/anxious going up to and talking to anyone at this point and I think some of them can tell. Feeling pretty f*cked rn ngl. I go back to work tomorrow. Wish me luck.
Around 6 months later I feel like I can probably work again. No therapy or meds, just mediation and time and gym to force myself to leave the house. I'm very introverted at the new job and QUICKLY run into issues. I just want to do my damn job and go home, but I'm on a team that stands around talking all day and wants to try really hard to get me out of my shell, which has the complete opposite effect. One guy in particular keeps putting his arm around me and stuff like that despite me repeatedly saying to stop, very annoying to me because hes also made disrespectful comments. I just ignore for the most part. I think the guy takes it personal I'd rather just keep to myself and work then socialize. Anyway: anxiety at work (from previous job) + anxiety in a group + anxiety from this guy making me uncomfortable leads to a really bad looking situation for me. In a group he asks about my old job and what I used to do and I pretty much freeze thinking about it. Start talking about a different job I had before the previous job but I was so f*cking nervous and it was obvious. They even asked if I was an undercover cop because of how it seemed. I never explained the previous trauma of my old job or anything maybe I should have. I already looked like a wimp for not really standing up for myself as much as I should have, but it looks WAY worse now. Guess a lot of people are calling me gay or something like that now from the bits I've gathered. My strategy is just to play dumb and act like nothing is wrong (I did the same thing at the old job too). They don't realize I actually notice everything and have a pretty good idea whats going on probably while thinking I'm a total dumb ass. One guy even pointed at me and said 'maybe they were talking about that John' before quickly walking away (two guys I had never met btw). Because there's someone with the same name as me. Prior to the old job the only social anxiety I had really was talking to attractive women, but now its anyone and everyone at work pretty much. Just going up to ask a question feels nerve wracking now. I HAVE mentioned to co-workers I'm not the most social person and don't get out much.
Anyways how do I navigate this best? The current social situation might be even worse than the previous job in some ways and my anxiety is pretty ridiculous at the new job already. I feel nervous/anxious going up to and talking to anyone at this point and I think some of them can tell. Feeling pretty f*cked rn ngl. I go back to work tomorrow. Wish me luck.
