Hmm... that can't be a universal though can it? I do notice your use of the word "may".
Could par...
This situation rings so true for my boyfriend and I. He went through a lot of trauma as a child and as a result, developed very thick skin and has used the phrase "tough love" more than once. He gets very angry when I cry and get very upset, as I became very sensitive over the years, and he gets angry when I dissociate and experience other problems related to complex PTSD from lifelong trauma events.
He doesn't understand getting so upset about things. Its almost as if I got stuck in the "flight" response and he may be stuck in the "fight" response.
I tend to show depression, anxiety and PTSD symptoms in a different way. I have been described as an empath and a bleeding heart. My boyfriend however doesn't understand this mindset and has taken on a lot of the views of his abusive father. His sister and him both show anxiety much more angrily than I do. Some would assume they just have anger problems but it isn't the case. He can sometimes become so overwhelmed he will start saying literally anything he can think of to upset me.. things he doesn't actually believe. He has a habit of getting down on other people and getting aggressive, whereas I have a habit of getting down on myself, crying, dissociating and retreating.
My boyfriend does not have the other physical symptoms that I have and is still able to participate in daily life whereas I have stopped everything. I have a hard time keeping up with hygiene and cleaning/chores, I haven't worked in almost 2 years and I dropped out of college after having to drop to part-time in my final year and my grades still suffering. Now I cannot even think about my old job or courses without getting terrible anxiety.
We have known each other a long time and he knows this is not my nature. My anxiety was always present but it did not take over my life this way. It didn't cause real pain. I was always busy, independent and driven.. type A. I loved going out and seeing people. I enjoyed things. I wasn't always dissociated.
It's been hard for my BF to see me stay like this for so long. Sometimes he is resentful of being the sole earner in our household. He says things like I am lazy and sometimes he thinks I am faking it, and becomes annoyed that I cannot just snap out of it.
Its frustrating for me to know how much he suffers with mental illness and yet he claims to have no understanding of it at all. He does not try to put himself in my shoes or consider what I need. He says things like, "if I were to act like this when I was growing up I would get slapped. We were raised different" and leaves it at that with no attempt to empathize. He does not consider himself very empathetic.. but he is capable of it. You just have to peel back the layers every time you want it , which can be painful..
We have both decided that he is a bit of a narcissist and this most likely comes from his father who still asks for money and behaves irresponsibly, and who has even suggested to him that he needs a different girlfriend who can do things with him... he will say anything to benefit himself. They were the type of parents to use his name to put bills in when he was a kid and never pay them.. so now he has to do some credit recovery.
