JEKBreatheandBelieve
Diamond Member
I got home from visiting my inlaws about two hours ago. The car ride back was the worst ride I've had in a while anxiety wise. I am still experiencing lots of anxiety now. I am shaky and scared. On Monday, it will mark two years since the accident that changed my life.
Tonight we had to drive through the intersection. My husband knows that it is still very triggering so he slowed way down and put his high beams on. There were, thankfully, no other cars around. That didn't stop me from envisioning our deaths. Even when we made it through I couldn't feel any relief. I had a panic attack. Then, I dissociated a little and scratched up my arm.
I just tried to journal about it to release some of this anxiety, but instead I started shaking again. I have friends coming this weekend, but I know it's going to take a lot to keep be distracted and calm. I keep hoping that I'll be able to just go on with life like it's just a regular weekend, but I feel like I am not succeeding at that. I do think I will stay away from any more nighttime driving if I can. Trying to calm and to breathe and believe myself when I say it is not happening now.
Tonight we had to drive through the intersection. My husband knows that it is still very triggering so he slowed way down and put his high beams on. There were, thankfully, no other cars around. That didn't stop me from envisioning our deaths. Even when we made it through I couldn't feel any relief. I had a panic attack. Then, I dissociated a little and scratched up my arm.
I just tried to journal about it to release some of this anxiety, but instead I started shaking again. I have friends coming this weekend, but I know it's going to take a lot to keep be distracted and calm. I keep hoping that I'll be able to just go on with life like it's just a regular weekend, but I feel like I am not succeeding at that. I do think I will stay away from any more nighttime driving if I can. Trying to calm and to breathe and believe myself when I say it is not happening now.