General Trying To Trust And Use The NHS Crisis System Or Should I Not Bother Anymore

[Ladyhope Somerset]

Hi Amethist,

Wow a major breakthrough - recognition. I'm so pleased to hear your Doberman paid off - great!!!

Ladyhope

 

[amethist]

Hubby was let down again 2 days running. One could not be helped and the other well, it was well out of order as far as he is concerned.

The first on Monday was just one of those things, his therapist was ill so had to cancel hubby's appointment. This would normally be OK, but he wanted to go so he could discus and get his head round the various things going on this week. But as you can imagine it put him out and set off on a bit of a downer.

So quick thinking me, suggested he rang his new support who understands PTSD ( The one mentioned in my post above). He rang but then I had to leave a message on the answer phone asking him to ring hubby when it was convenient. He rang back a few hours later and talked to hubby about what was going on this week, which calmed him down after a while and said I had suggested he rang him instead of using me as the therapist all the time. His support said that is good and he did the right thing, which would relieve me of some more of the pressure now I am not working.

His support told him he would ring him back the next day (yesterday), to check he was doing OK and had got through yesterday mornings appointment OK.

Now the crunch. Yea you guessed it right first time.

HE DID NOT RING BACK.

And this is a guy who is supposed to understand PTSD more than I do, what a joke. Nothing could be worse than this now, so again we do think it is time to give up with the so called experts. hubby was really annoyed at this and it could have set back a bit, but we went over some different things and he picked up fine. He even stayed up well past 9pm, which is very unusual.

Hubby has been more balanced in the last few days, now I am around more, (though not all the time). He is sleeping better, is more relaxed, happier, is eating better and generally picking up quite well. I know there will be bad days and we will probably drive each other nuts at some point. But this is way better than it has been over the last few months. Though he is still waiting for the alarm to go off at 5am, and panicked a little bit when I was up before him on Monday morning.

Amethist

 

[amethist]

Well an apology was given when they called last week, hubby also told him what he thought about being let down like that. Lets see if this happens again.

But, yep there is a but, LOL. As they came in hubby told them he had just got up, a comment from his Care Support almost had me going for her jugular. She said "Sleeping at this time of day", boy she nearly got it. But as I am a nice person and did not want to cause a scene, as hubby was still waking up as such and a bit fragile from the night before's episode with my brother.

A while later as they were all chatting, (I had left them to it as it his support not mine), a comment was made by the guy who does understand, about needing more sleep in times of crisis. So yea if needed then take it, seems she raised her eye brows having learnt something new yet again.

Maybe its about time she went back to do some more study into PTSD, before she makes any more out of line comments.

 

[ISupportHer]

Hey, we'll take up a collection and send her some of the books listedin this forum as resources, LOL.

ISH

 

[amethist]

LOL ISH I printed a load of stuff off here and gave it to her.

 

[amethist]

Tomorrow could be interesting/fun LOL. Hubby's community support is coming to see him, it has been over 3 weeks since the last visit and he is not happy about the time span, to be quite honest neither am I.

She used to call and see him once a week then once a fortnight, and if you have read back to some of my previous posts on this thread you will see, it has never really be a happy situation from the start.

She comes out with stupid comments when she calls, like "Why have you been asleep at this time of day". I have given her a lot of print offs from here to read, not sure if she has or not. There is another guy who comes with her on alternate visits, though it does seem to be on most visits now, who does understand PTSD.

Our issue now is that she/they have cut there visits short, from the an hour down to 25 mins last time. Its as if now that I am not working, they are leaving it all to me. ER no, they are the professional they are the ones who are supposed to be working with him at home, along side his therapy sessions. Even hubby's therapist was shocked that they are doing this, he did not seem happy about the way they are now handling this.

So tomorrow, hubby has decided to put this to them. To find out just what there plan is, as he was told that once his therapy ended, she/they would start doing more with him, but nothing was mentioned about it being cut back. He feels that she is not really interested or even knowledgeable enough to work with him, though her colleague is trying to teach her. He feels as if she is wasting his time and hers, as all that happens now is, she calls for about 30 mins, has a quick chat about how he has been the last few weeks, arranges another time to call and see him, then leaves.

Not much point in any of this really, nothing they can tell us about any of this that I have not already learnt from here, more like me teaching them. MMM maybe I should put in an Invoice for the time and effort I have spent educating our so called professionals here in the UK.

Wonder what the going rate is for private consultations, might find out, then send them the bill. So how about I send them one for all the time I have put into caring for my husband when they should have been here. All those breakdowns I have had to deal with alone, all time off work I have taken, unpaid, when he has been too ill to be left alone. All the sleepless nights I have had, due to nightmares and flashbacks. This list goes on, but you get the picture.

So for a rough guess, we have to be talking a good few thousand £ here :rofl:. Yea right, as if they would pay me for doing there job, they could not afford my prices.

There is another way to look at this, as in the knowledge and experience most carers have is priceless, free to be shared with those who need and appreciate it, but not affordable for those who THINK they know better than some of those closest to their sufferer.

So tomorrow hubby decides whether to ditch his so called support or not, not up to me, but I think I already know what he will do, as long as they let him speak, and not talk him out of anything THEY do not agree with.

Oh and I promise to keep the Doberman on a tight leash. :thumbs-up

Amethist

 

[amethist]

The Doberman was very well behaved today only growled once. :rofl:

Hubby talked and tried to explain how he felt, but stumbled, as he did not want to upset anyone. So I did step in and explain how he felt let down yet again, how he felt they were now leaving it all to me and how hard it was for him to explain how he felt in his own mind, when he could not explain it to himself.

So the next visit in 2 weeks time, will be by the guy who understands PTSD, seem he is her boss. This will be easier for hubby, as he said to me after she left, he would be able to talk to him better, knowing he understands. He is also going to ask him if he can be the one who now comes out and helps him, or at least alternate visits. This is for a few reasons, the first being that he does not really trust her to get to right and has pushed him too far on too many wrong occasions, then just left him in the same mess he was in before she arrived, or even worse. She cannot see when to push and when to back off, without getting stroppy with him, not encouraging or understanding, just stroppy. As well as making the stupid comments, which does not go down too well with Stu, mainly because being female, it reminds him of how his mum reacted when he was first diagnosed, stupid comments and stroppy come backs when he tried to explain why he could not go see her.

The other guy will do exactly the same thing, but with a male straight to the point no nonsense, but considerate and understanding attitude. Bit like the way I do it, but he wont be able to say no to him as much as he tries with me.

So we will see what the next visit brings

 

[cherryblossom]

Glad to hear that you are both standing up for yourselves. I say both, meaning stu really, because I know that the doberman will stand her ground!

Mental health issues of any degree are a long standing battle in the NHS, but sometimes it really does just come down to individual personalities. I'm not trying to defend the female that you see, but she may well see success with different individuals, with her approach. Counselling/support is a very individual and personal thing. Sometimes, we/you/one, just don't get on with someone. No ones fault, just life.

 

[amethist]

Sorry for the late reply CB.

Yes your right about just not getting on with someone. I think the main issue with this lady is, that she does not seem to understand the reasons for so much.

The last time she came I did mention about having checked the nearest hospital to where we are hoping to move to. She asked why I had done that, I told her well its just in case we need it and for any crisis care that just might be required in the future, as it is best to know whats available and have all the details on hand just in case. Her next question was, wait for it, "Why do you think he will need it then" MMM maybe not but its best to know just in case.

She really does not seem to have much knowledge even after all these months still, trying to help her out, but she seems to think I don't know what I'm on about some times. Yet his therapist, who is very good, backs everything I do when hubby questions stuff. so if he says it's OK then I carry on, he has not said I am doing anything wrong so far.

Anyway we are now waiting for 2 phone calls. I had to cancel his appointments last week due to hubby having a streaming cold. One is from his male support who should have called last Thursday, he wanted to talk to him about how he felt she was doing, not me hubby. his therapist called first thing Friday morning to rearrange that one, always does call as soon as he can, he is a really nice and good therapist. so that was done and we knew it would be fine. But still waiting for the other to call, hubby said he is going to wait for them to call and is not going to do the running round to find out what is going on with them. Won't be the first time he has waited for them to call, and not got a call back.

Then the other is for me, which I should have had on Friday too. But hey this is the NHS we are talking about. It is totally different when his solicitor arranges for something to be done, we usually get a call the same day and appointments made for our convenience, not theirs.

Oh well, patience of a dozen Saints on the go again. The Doberman is quiet for now. I am going to have to get her into training school, calm this temper of hers. :rofl:Well maybe just a bit.

Amethist

 

[amethist]

Give me strength the NHS are giving us the run around yet again.

All hubby needs is a sick note confirming he is not able to work at the moment, so the government can pay him the benefit they told us this morning he is entitled to. But because the GP refused on the grounds that the other government department dont need them for another year, we are struggling to get a simple bit of paper big time.

The lady who phoned us this morning about it was very helpful and understanding and is going to send a letter requesting it, to hand into the surgery.

I then I phoned the surgery and explained again, also letting them know that hubby has the money waiting, but they cannot issue it until they get that bit of paper. The receptionist understood and is going to talk to the last GP he saw and try and get this sorted today.

Now I have to sort hubby out again as this is just one more thing to knock him back down again. It has just taking him 2 days to pick himself up from the last issue.

When this is sorted there will be letters of complaint going in and possibly a complete change of doctors. there is another surgery in they next village, a bit inconvenient but I do know they are much more helpful to their patients.

Probably a good idea once we get a car.

 

[Tinkerbell]

This is all so horrific. What can a sufferer do?