Unexplained actions - dissociation?

[SpiritFree]

I was fired from my new job which lasted 2 months only. I was told that I was not a fit for the job. I knew why, during those 2 months I had been having weird experiences. I would forget a conversation I just had either in person or by phone, performing tasks which I feel Iam just flowing thru the tasks, I forget peoples names and faces, then what makes it more weird. I would go and retrieve the mail and upon returning back to my cubicle. I felt lost and disoriented and I felt I was having an out of body experience as I try to find my way back to my cubicle. Also while I'm driving I totally lose memory of where I am going that I have to pull over and think hard where was I suppose to go.

I told this to my doctor and she believe I am going thru Dissociation. I also told her on a rare occasions I would hold objects in my hand and not feeling nor acknowledge I'm holding something. MRI, Cat Scan, & EKG reveal nothing.

I was severely bullied everyday at school from Kindergarten to High School, was molested for 9 years off and on, and was physically, verbally & emotionally abused at home by "adult" sibling. All these occurred in the year time frame from age 5 to 13 except the bullying.

My fear that it could occur again when I find another job. I felt so stupid at the job and they probably thought I was stupid. Especially when they asked me a question and I just froze.
Had no problem in the past jobs, learned tasks quickly. Now I can't. Does this sound like Dissociation? and do symptoms appear later in life?

 

[anonymous]

I agree with your doctor that that sounds like dissociation. Dissociation from my experience can be extremely severe and scary.

It's important to take as much time as you need to work through this if you can.

I'm not a doctor, but I think symptoms often do appear later especially if you're in a long term disociative state. I don't understand it, but I'd had multiple traumas, but the last consecutive few have changed my life completely. I also think even if past trauma didn't cause PTSD new trauma can be the breaking point and make everything a million times worse, because it's like it just all combines and multiplies.

I think trauma is so complex, there's probably many more on here than me qualified than me to answer this. I just know it's beyond miserable and most people have no clue what's it's like and just don't understand.

 

[Leighlee87]

Yup. Sounds completely like dissociation to me. Find multiple grounding techniques and practice them regularly. At work, I take a million notes of what I've done, what I need to do, etc. I'm a teacher, so I audio record my classes because I literally cannot remember the words I said two seconds after I said them. I feel like I'm walking in a fog and I can't connect to anything around me. I go back and listen to the recordings before my next classes so that I know what we've already discussed, questions students had, etc.

 

[EveHarrington]

I think dissociation issues can pop up at any time, even years and years after the trauma. :hug: