A few weeks ago, I excitedly informed you all that my grandpa was going to make a few phone calls and we were going to figure everything out together. My grandparents were still upset with how I felt about my aunt, but they seemed to understand.
I don't know if they are still pushing to have her moved into a group home. I don't ask anymore.
Now, it is all my fault. My grandpa is furious at me for not being kind to my aunt. For not continuing to just deal with it. He doesn't understand what she does to me, even now. She makes it a point to follow me into the kitchen or the living room when no one else is around. She stands outside my door in the very early morning hours and listens to me talk to my cat, I know because I can hear her in the hallway. Something that should be as simple as saying hi to her isn't simple, and I'm so frustrated at myself for all of this. Why couldn't I just deal with it?
My grandma blamed me for nearly being molested. They took me on a car ride the very next day after I posted about "tomorrow," and for over an hour they grilled me about MY actions and how I was affecting everyone in the house.
My grandma even asked me, "Well I don't understand what you were doing in her room." As a child, they would push for me to spend time with my aunt. They would punish me for something as simple as telling them I only wanted to play with my grandma and not my aunt today. Why was I in her room? Because they told me to go play with her.
They've also stated that what happened to me wasn't attempted abuse nor abuse at all. It was just inappropriate behavior. Okay, so what if she had been able to pin me down? Would that have just been considered innappropriate touching or would they call it what it really would've been, sexual abuse? What about when she hit me? Innappropriate treatment of a child? I don't understand.
It's funny, because my grandparents jump onto any reason at all to say my parents abused me. But when it comes to their daughter they won't hold her accountable for any of it, and she really messed me up.
I am underage. I can't just leave. The way I see it, I have three options.
I get my license in a few weeks. I was supposed to get it over a year ago, but I've always had really bad car and driving anxiety. I could stay here, and just make it work. Once I get my license I could leave during the day as often and as long as I'd like, and just try to make it work until I have enough money to leave.
Two, I could move in with my cousin. She loves me and her daughter is the most important person in my life, and she's always said she'd love for me to live with them. I'd have to talk with her, and I'm seeing her this weekend. I could help out with the kids and I could be close to family that actually cares for me.
Three, I could move four hours away and live with my mom. I've told you guys very little if not nothing about my mom. She left when I was 11 because she was on drugs. It's long and complicated but she's sober now as far as I know. I love my mom but I don't know how well this would work. But I don't know what else to do at this point.
I don't know what to do. I don't know how to deal with any of this.
I don't know if they are still pushing to have her moved into a group home. I don't ask anymore.
Now, it is all my fault. My grandpa is furious at me for not being kind to my aunt. For not continuing to just deal with it. He doesn't understand what she does to me, even now. She makes it a point to follow me into the kitchen or the living room when no one else is around. She stands outside my door in the very early morning hours and listens to me talk to my cat, I know because I can hear her in the hallway. Something that should be as simple as saying hi to her isn't simple, and I'm so frustrated at myself for all of this. Why couldn't I just deal with it?
My grandma blamed me for nearly being molested. They took me on a car ride the very next day after I posted about "tomorrow," and for over an hour they grilled me about MY actions and how I was affecting everyone in the house.
My grandma even asked me, "Well I don't understand what you were doing in her room." As a child, they would push for me to spend time with my aunt. They would punish me for something as simple as telling them I only wanted to play with my grandma and not my aunt today. Why was I in her room? Because they told me to go play with her.
They've also stated that what happened to me wasn't attempted abuse nor abuse at all. It was just inappropriate behavior. Okay, so what if she had been able to pin me down? Would that have just been considered innappropriate touching or would they call it what it really would've been, sexual abuse? What about when she hit me? Innappropriate treatment of a child? I don't understand.
It's funny, because my grandparents jump onto any reason at all to say my parents abused me. But when it comes to their daughter they won't hold her accountable for any of it, and she really messed me up.
I am underage. I can't just leave. The way I see it, I have three options.
I get my license in a few weeks. I was supposed to get it over a year ago, but I've always had really bad car and driving anxiety. I could stay here, and just make it work. Once I get my license I could leave during the day as often and as long as I'd like, and just try to make it work until I have enough money to leave.
Two, I could move in with my cousin. She loves me and her daughter is the most important person in my life, and she's always said she'd love for me to live with them. I'd have to talk with her, and I'm seeing her this weekend. I could help out with the kids and I could be close to family that actually cares for me.
Three, I could move four hours away and live with my mom. I've told you guys very little if not nothing about my mom. She left when I was 11 because she was on drugs. It's long and complicated but she's sober now as far as I know. I love my mom but I don't know how well this would work. But I don't know what else to do at this point.
I don't know what to do. I don't know how to deal with any of this.
