View On Overly Positive Individuals

[The Albatross]

Considering I haven't even addressed you in like 45 minutes or more... I have no idea what your on about and believe me there is not doubt about when I'm being sarcastic. I'm stressed, I'm sensitive, I've got insomnia, but I'm not being sarcastic.

 

[Roslie22]

@The Albatross,
"Hope your friend wasn't also an insomniac" If thats not directed to me, my apologies, otherwise, i'll take your word reg your last message :)

& I messaged just now because I opened the thread when i saw a notification

Goodnight :)

 

[The Albatross]

This is way off topic and good night to you as well.

 

[Angela Corgan]

I used to be like that and then the memories that couldn't be disproved set in plus a sudden attack and almost repeat of history by abuser.

Until it happens to you, or you are specially trained, I think 'normal' people just cannot comprehend...

So my choice is to just accept that fact and not bother them with it, I still get angry but wastes too much energy to try and make someone understand the unthinkable and unspeakable.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

People can and do get stuck (re your mother)... not just with grief. It doesn't mean there were not opportunities... but it can mean that they can't or won't sieze them. Sometimes for their own reasons

Stuck, and will likely never get better... never sought treatment

I was told I may need therapy for life. My therapist said my past will likely always be a struggle but will get easier over time (we hope but don't know that) and I am seeking treatment.

I would say im more of a realist.

Yes! I am also a realist. I don't think "it may get better" or "it may be ok" when thats likely not the case.

My dad thinks soooo positive that he thinks that makes the bad not there. He thinks that if he excuses everything, it makes it all better. I say he sticks his head in the sand to not see the bad but while sticking his head in the sand he is singing positive phrases. When he learned of my past that sent him in a positive overload that made him make up the worst excuses for it all and say things like "well its over now, just put it behind you and move on" and other "positive phrases" and also when my mom was dying she was a "child of god" now and no longer responsible for what she did to me, no longer an abuser, and I was wrong to say different. He also says to stop bringing up the past. He never wants to hear of anything bad. He is overly positive.

That is a miles away from me trying to get better and try as hell to carve out a simi-good life, heal and move on and strive to live a pretty good life. That is simply having hope and trying to always better yourself. My dad lives in denial and refusing to see the bad in something henders you. It handicaps you.

 

[ladee]

The key word for me here is "overly".
I like being around positive people..but they also have to be realists.
Its not what these positive people say..it is how they live their life. Its what I SEE not what I HEAR.
Overly positive people make me grind my teeth. They also tend to be passive/aggresive and make me tired being vigilant to when the snarky judgemental remarks take all the colors out of the rainbow and cause the glitter to go dull.
I stay away from people who are like that. I want no part of the hidden life they are hiding behind thier shiny words.

 

[FireSign8]

Well, ...I happen to be an atheist/realist & firmly believe that to every action there is an equal, lesser, or greater reaction.
That said, I weigh the options when I am faced with a personal crisis & force myself to find a POSITIVE in the many NEGATIVES that surround my daily life. I have lived long enough (64) to know that I never was the cause of my abuse when I was a child. Yet, because I now have knowledge of the red flags that lead to abuse, I do everything I can to avoid having to be a "victim" again. For me, this means no drugs, alcohol, or other toxins to fog my brain & override me into my former self of not caring if I live or die. I have chosen life & the wonderful things that exist keep me focused. I am never bored as long as there are cracks in the wall! I think all of those connect the dots books I had as a child helped me to find joy in little things.

I learned to fly without a plane when my Mother beat me & I left my body & I watched her getting angrier & angrier that I would not cry. One day I hit her back & things changed. She was now at risk of being my victim & she knew it. It was the beginning of the end of abuse on one level & I had more to learn & I am still learning to this day. I cannot stand the people who start out a sentence by saying :"I'm so sorry you had to go through that" & others who say I should "let go & let god take over"....yes, those are the people I still have trouble accepting because to my way of thinking they refuse to accept me as I am & appear to be deaf & lacking in true empathy. Talk is cheap & a lot of people get paid to force their options down upon others. This is perhaps one of the major reasons I shun organized religious people as well as non-religious greed mongers who get big bucks to help what they deem to be "those of us in need".

I have had diagnosed PTSD since a 2001 violent crime & now it appears I also have CPTSD in addition to all the other things they said I had in the 1960's that now appear to no longer have valid meaning in the mental health field in the year 2017. MPD is now DID & I have to wonder why a simple thing had to become a pharmaceutical mess that lead up to having to build more prisons to house the confused people who were left out in the streets to become victims again & again &again. Good old Ronald Reagan logic is still alive & well here in the usa.

Anyway, that's pretty much how I feel about the subject at hand & I see reading this post triggered a ton of shit in my mangled & manageable brain! I can be a real shit sometimes & that's just the way I am. I don't get out much, so the internet is my "social outlet"! :singing:

 

[lostforgottensoul]

"let go & let god take over"

I HATE that phrase!!!!! It's been said to me so much and "god" never takes over or takes it or whatever. Also "leave it at the cross". How the f*ck do you just leave it anywhere? It doesn't leave my head.

I think those phrases are meant for normal day worry maybe? Certianly useless for trauma for sure!

ETA: No offense intended!

 

[Deleted member 35429]

There is a lot of good insight here, but also an interesting undertone of contempt for people that are 'overly' positive with the assumption it's because those people haven't experienced trauma. I have experienced pretty hellacious trauma by anyone's standard and I still see people as inherently good. I trust people. I think the world is a good place. I usually think the worst people are the ones that don't trust anyone...those are the ones I watch out for.

I think because I was yong when my trauma happened I was able to split that off experience entirely and my adult me sees the world without that young damaged view.

No one would consider me over positive, more of a realist/optimist. But the two people I know that are annoyingly positive have experienced horrible trauma so these ideas that they just don't know the world yet are so false and condescending...I'm referring to some of the messages at the beginning of this thread. I know not everyone was so cynical about optimists.

 

[Roslie22]

I HATE that phrase!!!!! It's been said to me so much and "god" never takes ove...

Hahaha. Yes...
While we respect people's religious beliefs.
I'd like to see someone say that to a 10 year old version of me.
I was only able to help myself, and a lot of people kept quiet, it was clear to me I was on my own.
I tried anything to get her to stop, and I even prayed heaps to multiple gods, but my luck or circumstandes never changed nor even a little bit of safety.

 

[Roslie22]

There is a lot of good insight here, but also an interesting undertone of contempt for people that are 'ov...

Hey @0101 :)

I too see the good in people and am told a lot that I am always smiling and very friendly/bubbly. That's good you see the world as a good place.
I think part of me travelling alone a lot as a young age really helped me feel more safe (as weird as it sounds) because I found many people were open , kind and willing to help, asking for nothing in return.

Yeah, I guess me personally I don't like some of their "higher order" ideas, but I don't dislike them as people.
In the past I also encountered a few people who went through a lot with a lot of positivity , but would then turn into passive agression when you disagree.
For example. One day I was in High school and the rule is that if we don't have a signed note saying we don't want to participate in religious class, we have to go. Unfortunately the school forgot to send out the letter, and all non Christians had to go.
The teacher turned from a very nice guy to passively agressively talking to all of us non Christians sitting in the back. Since then, whenever I saw him he had the look of hate on his face, since we didn't budge.

 

[ladee]

Contempt is a strong word .
Just speaking for myself here.
When I posted I was seeing people I know personally who use platitudes..and I've seen them loose thier shit and all that positive stuff went right out the window.
I am at a stage in my life that i let a lot of stuff go in one ear and out the other if it doesn't apply to me..in regard to the topic here.
People make me tired. So many are simply unconcious. And just as they don't want to be rattled out of thier safe spot with our reality..the same applies that I don't want to subject myself to willful ignorance.
But because we see the world differently..I am not justified in trampling on thier version of a lived life.I am a positive person by nature.. But I don't use worn out platitudes on people either.
Guess this thread could be hijacked by semantics.
I'm out.