Virtual/Video/Telehealth Sessions

[whiteraven]

I found using my laptop with a wifi connection and a space to sit where no one could see me a better experience.

This is what I do. I don't have to worry about other people in the house, but the laptop/wi-fi set-up works really well for me.

 

[susannahsays]

1. Yes, we've been doing teletherapy for a few weeks. I didn't find the idea scary personally. I had done tele psychiatry with a former psychiatrist before, so it wasn't my first time doing something like this.
2. I usually don't look at her in my sessions. I guess it feels kind of weird because she can see my face - head on and up close - in our sessions now, instead of my turned head. It hasn't bothered me as much as I would have thought it would, though. The other thing that is hard has to do with a sort of paranoid delusion that I sometimes have (that existed long before we started using teletherapy) that she might laugh at me about abuse I have experienced. This delusion is completely baseless in terms of anything she has ever done - and I am getting a lot better at not allowing myself to get sucked into a paranoid spiral. However, yesterday I did have trouble with the thought that since we aren't in the same room, she could mute her mic and laugh at me and I wouldn't know.
3. Teletherapy mostly works well for me. I love having my dog with me - he is very attuned to my emotions and helps so much when I am dysregulated or need to ground myself. He is a chihuahua and a bit of a barkaholic, though, and he has sometimes felt it necessary to alert me to potential threats in the vicinity. I also like that I have the power to terminate a session with the click of a button. There was one time that I really wanted to leave a session but I felt frozen. The therapist was in an irritable mood that day, I happened to be really struggling that day, and the result was not good. I did not feel she was in a place where she was capable of helping me that day, so I wanted to leave but I felt glued to my seat and the door seemed a million miles away.

 

[whiteraven]

I also like that I have the power to terminate a session with the click of a button.

I like this, too. I don't think I would ever do it (I've only walked out of a session twice), but it feels safer to me to be able to do that without worrying about making it to the door without a hassle.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I so miss being in my therapist's office! Struggling really hard and its so nice to connect in person with him. Its the only connection I have with anyone and Im really missing it. My service dog is with me either way. But when working he's right there, laying on my feet, which keeps me grounded. At home, he likes to lay on his bed. I miss that too. But I really miss the in person stuff. Like my therapist moving his chair to meet my eyes. And just the connection that happens in person. My therapist can read micro expressions so he almost seems to read my mind. And just being able to communicate without saying anything. It is so vaulable to me. I really struggle with talking about stuff. My therapist has this way of digging, finding the difficult stuff, and then some how getting to it without me saying much. I never look at him. All session I stare at a table off to the side. But just so much in person stuff that happens without me knowing it that cant happen when not in person. I guess he can read micro expressions on video but i think partley why I don't like the video thing is cause I never look at my therapist in session. So, its hard to not look at him on video. I mean, I could look away but its harder to. And then looking at myself is a no go!

I am grateful that my thetapist trusts me with his cell number. He doesn't share it with patients. He said he knew that I wouldn't miss use it. I guess perks of being a patient of 10 yrs? Trust. It feels nice that he trusts me like that.

But, struggling really bad right now and it would of been nice to see my therapist in person! :(

 

[Invisible Fire]

But, struggling really bad right now and it would of been nice to see my therapist in person! :(

I understand and hope things get back to normal soon. you are not alone in feeling this way.

 

[whiteraven]

I think I'm going to quit therapy. I can't connect with him like I could in person (and that was hard) and I'm really not very stable right now - not being able to connect just makes it worse. Broke three things this morning, screamed at the cats, *wanted* to break the TV (and I've not been watching news). I'm in such a bad place and felt like a bother yesterday during therapy. Now another whole week. I can feel like sh*t all on my own.

 

[Invisible Fire]

I think I'm going to quit therapy. I can't connect with him like I could in person (and that was hard) and I'm really not very stable right now - not being able to connect just makes it worse. Broke three things this morning, screamed at the cats, *wanted* to break the TV (and I've not been watching news). I'm in such a bad place and felt like a bother yesterday during therapy. Now another whole week. I can feel like sh*t all on my own.

Sorry you're having a rough time. Sounds like you are dealing with a lot. Sending positive vibes to you. I appreciate you sharing and you are not alone.

 

[Wendell_R]

It's hard when you can't connect, and I can see how that makes it worse. I hope you find a path to some peace.

 

[Warrior Chicken]

@whiteraven i completely understand what you’re experiencing cuz I went/am going thru the same at my end.
My appointments with T had finally started to be an actual physical place I wanted to go. Tried video session and it’s not something that works for me - for a number of reasons but mostly can’t connect (not technologically, that works great!)
I did only try once, and before I quit and throw in the towel....I might try again.

Can I ask if you’ve tried it several times and it hasn’t improved? If not, would you consider trying again....? Maybe figure out if there are things T could do to facilitate connecting?

Do your cats scream back at you? Mine does, then we both get a chuckle out of it. Hope you can feel less like shit....it’s not easy

 

[whiteraven]

Can I ask if you’ve tried it several times and it hasn’t improved? If not, would you consider trying again....? Maybe figure out if there are things T could do to facilitate connecting?

Do your cats scream back at you? Mine does, then we both get a chuckle out of it. Hope you can feel less like shit....it’s not easy

We've met about 3x. Could be he was having a bad day. But I came away from that feeling so bad I just don't want to do it again. I cancelled our next session...I'll see if anything changes between now and the scheduled session in 2 weeks.

My kitties certainly talk back. LOL

 

[Wendell_R]

Maybe it would be useful to imagine what the sessions would feel like if you or he changed the format or how he does the sessions? And do that without feeling constrained about what the sessions have to look like? I'm reminded of @Rainman8772 posting about doing a virtual session while walking in the woods with his dog.

 

[Rainman8772]

Maybe it would be useful to imagine what the sessions would feel like if you or he changed the format or how he does the sessions? And do that without feeling constrained about what the sessions have to look like? I'm reminded of @Rainman8772 posting about doing a virtual session while walking in the woods with his dog.

Just make sure you do not get what I just did. Lyme Disease from ticks while walking in the woods during and for therapy. ????
Started my Doxycycline today for it. Can’t help but laugh at the irony otherwise it would get me down. Now 4 weeks of antibiotics and retest to see if it goes away.