Sorry to keep coming back to this. I'm doing therapy every week online and, while it's going ok - no technical issues, no real anxiety - I feel really lousy after and that feeling sticks around for days.
I like the process of online - I normally have to drive 40 min for a 50 min session - and he is doing this pro bono until I get back on my feet. In those regards, I feel very fortunate. We didn't really start talking about anything important until today and it was still surface stuff.
I understand the necessity of these online sessions, but I sometimes feel less "substance." I honestly have no idea how to describe this. When I see him in the office, I have to drive there, he has to drive there, and he's completely focused on me while I'm there. I can see what he's doing, am not worried about family standing outside his door (which is actually not a door, but a curtain), and because we haven't really been dealing with hard stuff, I worry that I'm just sort of an after-thought.
But also struggling with the in-between. And in a much different, more intense way than when I was going into the office.