Childhood Voyeurism

[Nicole H.]

I've recently been diagnosed with complex PTSD and my doctor has me reading, "The Body Keeps Score" by Bessel van der Kolk, MD. It's amazing and I think everyone could benefit from it. Be kind to yourselves.

 

[Ufsr78]

Of course voyeurism isn't sexual abuse
But when it's done to a child yes it is.

Myself tonight discovered I was sexually abused also although unlike yourself I'm not 100% sure on who it was. Like you said the body memories..The flashbacks

Being uncormfotable. Have you been the police about this? Any victim support lines? They need to know. This is sexual abuse and it needs reporting.
It's only normal to you because it's been forced upon yourself to believe that.

All of us here instantly knew it's sexual abuse. Thank you for reaching out your so brave. If you need to talk privately or need any support whatsoever feel free anytime of the day or night to message me
Take care of yourself x

 

[katz]

My father once coersed me to have a shower in his house, wanted to watch me and did for a while. He also...

I also had a similar experience. My father hurt me in the shower also. Now, I understand why I avoided the shower as I grew up, and only took baths. I still to this day feel very uncomfortable, and lock the door, when I take one.

Anyway, when I moved home after my divorce, he became very attached to me. He did not hurt me anymore, but I became his "surrogate wife". He did not like it when I went out with other people and watched me a lot. He took me to movies and treated me like a spoiled kid. I have read quite a bit on this "relationship" that "we" formed. It is very common when the grownup/parent is having trouble in their own marriage. So, he/she finds companionship by reaching out to a child - weather in the family or out. It is also related to them having control of the situation. A lot like when you are a child and they are the adult/parent.

Please don't doubt yourself. Yes. This is abuse - even if just in the shower.

 

[hithere]

For some reason the past few weeks I"ve been thinking about voyeurism and it's effect on the person being watched (or spied upon). Not only that I have been thinking about the "being looked at in sexual way" a "lusting" way and the effect it has on someone. As an adult I have had my fair share of men and women stare and glare at me in a lustful way, sometimes saying things. I'm describing the look here very well, it's way more than a "look." As an adult it made me feel C R E E P Y and I hated it. I had boss that would do that and it was just gross. It would effect me until I was able to just shake it off. So if I kid is being looked at that way, the kids is certainly getting those same "yuk, creepy" feelings and feelings of being unsafe. It's enough to upset the nerves. That's what I have been thinking about.

 

[Deleted member 47384]

Of course voyeurism isn't sexual abuse
But when it's done to a child yes it is.

What are you talking about?

Voyeurism is sexual abuse. Full stop. Unless it's some kinda roleplay thing that both parties have consented to, you can't go spyin' on people when they're naked. That's illegal. And disgusting.

I was spied on by my older brother throughout my entire childhood, to the point where I had to sneak into my own bathroom and use the toilet with the lights off. It didn't suddenly become OK when I turned 18 and it kept happening. Every time I caught him it felt just as disgusting, violating, and degrading as it did when I was a little kid.