I want to give some background because I feel it will help. I am dating a 24 year old purple heart vet, combat engineer for the USMC. He has been blown up 7 different times while serving in Afghanistan. Him and I have known each other almost our entire lives but didn't pursue anything until our adult lives which was around March 2013. He dated a girl throughout highschool and ended up marrying her but 4 short months later got divorced. When he came home for the last time from overseas his ex wife kept him hours away from his family... she found him a job and prevented him from coming home.
We starting texting all the time and he was always wanting to take me out but I blew him off due to a bad past relationship. One day I took the chance and went out with him and we hit it off really well. Following that we continued to see each other and eventually started dating in July. We were great when we started dating. I started to notice he was acted a little distant and due to some insecurities I have I looked at his phone to find out he was texting his ex wife. (He was married and divorced within 4 months) He was telling her he wasn't seeing anyone and that he wanted to be with her, while telling me and everyone else that I was his girl friend. I stayed away for about 2 weeks then we reunited. I ended up moving in with him late August/September. We broke up again after I moved in. I ended up staying and for a few months we lived together as roommates. We drank together at night and usually hooked up but nothing past that. He at one point became really depressed. He said he was a failure and that he was going to move away from everyone. He was drinking excessively every night. He wanted me to move out but I made excuses and kept my distance.. I wasn't ready to give up just yet. Late November I went on vacation for about 10 days and didn't speak to him. He picked me up from the airport and was instantly wanting to be close to me. We were GREAT once I got back. He then wanted to start trying to have a child, so we tried but no success. We ended up getting a house in March 2014.. We were good but my insecurities started to come back.. I always thought he was talking to his ex wife. This argument of my insecurities happened about once a month. I couldn't be separated from him for more than two days without freaking out. Our very last argument regarding trust issues was about a month ago. He said he was done and that he was leaving. He never left. I asked him why he stayed and he said because he loved me and that he knew we were better than that. From that last argument I promised him I would show him I could trust him and that is what I continued to do . On Monday, July 14.. he told me that he felt we were moving apart.. he said he loved me but didn't know if he was in love with me. I was completely caught off guard and crushed. I kept asking why.. and he said he needed to stand up and tell me and not drag me along. He says we cant be together right now and that he does feel the spark. From the time of our last argument till Monday everything seemed normal. He kissed me everyday before leaving for work and told me he loved me. I noticed that he would become distant throughout our relationship and I would say something but he denied it and said he was fine. I also noticed that he liked to sit in silence.. we would be sitting in the living room together but we wouldn't speak. We are no longer dating and he says he is moving out.. but he is still living in my house? A few questions have crossed my mind.. If he was really done and wanted to leave why didn't he pack a bag and go stay somewhere till he found a place? He has told everyone, friends and family that we are no longer dating and that he is moving out...he hasn't gone to the extreme of that on any other argument that lead to him telling me he was done. Is this just a phase like before, are his emotions just on the high and the first thing he can think to do is push me away? Do we just physically need space apart? I love this man more than I can put into words. Like I said it was guy wrenching to hear him tell me he didn't love me.. but why is he still here.. why is he still around. Or is he really done.
He has never once seen anyone since being home from overseas. He has been home for 2.5 years. I recently reached out to one of his best friends in the marine corps and talked to him even though I have never met him.. He told me over and over it was ptsd and that he needs to talk to someone. I have brought ptsd up to him but he gets angry and tells me he doesn't have it.
Here is my story.. I need help! I need someone to tell me what I should do.. Do I move on since he said he doesn't want to be with me.. do I give him space and then try to pursue something. I'm so lost.
-Jordan
We starting texting all the time and he was always wanting to take me out but I blew him off due to a bad past relationship. One day I took the chance and went out with him and we hit it off really well. Following that we continued to see each other and eventually started dating in July. We were great when we started dating. I started to notice he was acted a little distant and due to some insecurities I have I looked at his phone to find out he was texting his ex wife. (He was married and divorced within 4 months) He was telling her he wasn't seeing anyone and that he wanted to be with her, while telling me and everyone else that I was his girl friend. I stayed away for about 2 weeks then we reunited. I ended up moving in with him late August/September. We broke up again after I moved in. I ended up staying and for a few months we lived together as roommates. We drank together at night and usually hooked up but nothing past that. He at one point became really depressed. He said he was a failure and that he was going to move away from everyone. He was drinking excessively every night. He wanted me to move out but I made excuses and kept my distance.. I wasn't ready to give up just yet. Late November I went on vacation for about 10 days and didn't speak to him. He picked me up from the airport and was instantly wanting to be close to me. We were GREAT once I got back. He then wanted to start trying to have a child, so we tried but no success. We ended up getting a house in March 2014.. We were good but my insecurities started to come back.. I always thought he was talking to his ex wife. This argument of my insecurities happened about once a month. I couldn't be separated from him for more than two days without freaking out. Our very last argument regarding trust issues was about a month ago. He said he was done and that he was leaving. He never left. I asked him why he stayed and he said because he loved me and that he knew we were better than that. From that last argument I promised him I would show him I could trust him and that is what I continued to do . On Monday, July 14.. he told me that he felt we were moving apart.. he said he loved me but didn't know if he was in love with me. I was completely caught off guard and crushed. I kept asking why.. and he said he needed to stand up and tell me and not drag me along. He says we cant be together right now and that he does feel the spark. From the time of our last argument till Monday everything seemed normal. He kissed me everyday before leaving for work and told me he loved me. I noticed that he would become distant throughout our relationship and I would say something but he denied it and said he was fine. I also noticed that he liked to sit in silence.. we would be sitting in the living room together but we wouldn't speak. We are no longer dating and he says he is moving out.. but he is still living in my house? A few questions have crossed my mind.. If he was really done and wanted to leave why didn't he pack a bag and go stay somewhere till he found a place? He has told everyone, friends and family that we are no longer dating and that he is moving out...he hasn't gone to the extreme of that on any other argument that lead to him telling me he was done. Is this just a phase like before, are his emotions just on the high and the first thing he can think to do is push me away? Do we just physically need space apart? I love this man more than I can put into words. Like I said it was guy wrenching to hear him tell me he didn't love me.. but why is he still here.. why is he still around. Or is he really done.
He has never once seen anyone since being home from overseas. He has been home for 2.5 years. I recently reached out to one of his best friends in the marine corps and talked to him even though I have never met him.. He told me over and over it was ptsd and that he needs to talk to someone. I have brought ptsd up to him but he gets angry and tells me he doesn't have it.
Here is my story.. I need help! I need someone to tell me what I should do.. Do I move on since he said he doesn't want to be with me.. do I give him space and then try to pursue something. I'm so lost.
-Jordan
