Wanted To Share - My First EMDR Session

[anthony]

It is just part of any trauma therapy cherry.... stick with it as your doing well. The more honest you are with yourself, with the person helping you, the more you get out of trauma therapy. Sometimes it takes me six or longer months to get the one key issue from a person.... the one part that just makes it all click for them. Just stick with it through all the hurt and pain, because the end result is that you spend less time ill because of past pain.... then you concentrate on learning how to manage PTSD itself after you heal past trauma.

 

[linasmom]

Thanks, Anthony.

I am trying to prepare myself mentally for what I know will be coming - the depression, the anxiety, the "ill" feelings.

The one feeling that I'm struggling with currently is guilt. Because I know that the road ahead is going to be very difficult, I feel guilty for what my family will have to deal with while I'm going through the therapy.

 

[tude]

Linasmom, I couldn't agree with cherry more...

I just didn't expect 'worse' to be quite this bad.

I too knew it was going to get worse before it got better, however I didn't fully realize how much worse. On the positive side, I am learning how to take care of myself as I go through it. More importantly, I am learning that I don't have to walk through it alone.

Linasmom, take care of yourself. It'll be worth it.

 

[cherryblossom]

On the positive side, I am learning how to take care of myself as I go through it. More importantly, I am learning that I don't have to walk through it alone.

Hmmm, I guess this is where I'm going wrong. I don't seem to be manageing the whole 'getting ill' part, at all. And I feel more alone than ever. Anyway, that is a little off topic.

What I actually came back to this thread to say was that Rachel, I wish you all the best, and I really hope that it works out for you.

Your session sounded totally different to mine. My therapist has me follow her hand with my eyes, as she moves it from left to right in front of my eyes. There is also no list. I just have to imagine my trauma during the eye movement, and them tell her what I notice. Feelings, emotions, other senses etc. My brain tends to flit around various different aspects of the trauma, but she trys to get me to concentrate on the strongest and most upsetting images. As I'm doing this repressed memories have been coming to the surface, which I have been unable to mention to her yet. It is also these memories that are causing me the most upset at the moment.

Anyway, I wish you well Rachel

 

[ChrisB]

Hi- I was asked by my therapist to try EMDR. I was told that during EMDR I may have flashbacks regarding my activating incident or from something that has happened in my distent past that I have not dealt with yet. Before this I had a sick memory return of a few details of a childhood rape. My therapist is not ready for me to deal with that and warned me that that may come up during the session. Due to fear I chose to not try EMDR.

 

[linasmom]

Thanks everyone for your support!

I really hope the EMDR works for me. I think my therapist purposely started out on a slower note for our first session - he is not the type to just jump in and rush in to things, but I do know that it will eventually become hard and while I know that it's going to be scary and make me feel horrible, I want it so badly so I can move on. I'm willing to hit bottom if the end result is a much more manageable lifestyle. As is it right now, I feel useless.

I'll keep everyone updated - maybe this will be a running thread of my experience with EMDR, so that others will have an idea of what one person's experience was like.

Best,
Rachel

 

[lolabrigitta]

Hi, My hubby's T gave us a CD with EMDR on it. As she only sees him every 2 weeks she will be starting next week with the 1st session on it and he is to listen to this CD in between sessions.........I listened thru it and it was soothing for me. Tapping was used. I will post the experiences after the next session.

Lola

 

[Acer]

I will be starting this soon enough....I look forward to connecting my intrusive emotions (I don't have intrusive memories but intrusive emotions when triggered) with memories. I feel disconnected from the memories (but haven't ever lost them). I personally am really excited that there is something to try, and someone who thinks this will work for me, that has this as an option, and that can see where I am coming from.

 

[captrn1]

You guys are scaring me.

 

[pandora]

I tried it once, no two times....5 years ago and then i completely fell apart...... flooding I think. One time i held buzzers..one in each hand and the next time I watched lights.

I am switching psychologists beause round trip is about 4 hours and I just feel too ill and too drugged and I am afraid to have an accident. She has charged me 150.00...I still have about 13 more from criminal injuries. We are sll gong to meet together (the new psychologist..well, talk about putting my past in my face. She is about 6 or 7 years older than i but we grew up in church together and her mother was my choir director for years....all the years i was running from life. So....I have deceided due to the convenience and safety factor I am going to stay closer to home. She is really cool....I wil definately miss my old one......sorry i took over thread. She is also going to charge 75.00 per session. That is half of what I have been plus gas...that helps too.

I asked her because I thought that EMDR was contraindicated for those that have more than one trauma....she told me no...it works very well for people with more than one trauma or repeated traumas.

They also have a womans support group...I would like to see if my personal health care will cover the cost because it is about 200.00....what a great, safe place to meet others...I am very interested.

 

[anthony]

Pandora, multiple trauma is a term used, I used even, for people who have suffered both many traumatic events and multiple traumatic events. EMDR can be used on multiple traumatic events, though it just resides to what those particular events have been and the severity judged by the physician against your reactions upon interview. Some physicians are simply shit at telling whether a person is lieing or not, hence you end up with your brain fried. Some are not...

End of the day... the more honest you are with the physician in the initial interview to gauge whether EMDR is an option for you removes the physician from making judgemental mistakes, being human and all. The more you tell the better the outcome. The less you tell, hide or keep secret, the worse EMDR will be and possibly brain damage as a result if things go really bad.

A good well trained physician in the use of EMDR with lots of experience should be a fairly safe bet to be able to help you. Yes... your going to become worse than you have likely been during trauma therapy... its not rosy and fun.

 

[pandora]

Thanx Anthony...we are going to talk some more about it once life settles down, I finish unpacking and try to heal again and try to figure out exactly what it is that is holding me back.....keeping myself in the bad decision mode....not caring enough to care about me. Letting go of things in a more effective manner than i have been because I am still haunted...though better by my past or at least bits of it now.