Warning: Not A Supporter Friendly Rant.

[Ligize]

Op here. Could you be more specific

...and if you had a supporter say that to a sufferer, man, you'd jump down their throat.

There was a reason I labeled this thread as not supporter friendly. I wanted to get it off my chest without really engaging in conversation about it. A rant is a rant.

That said, in no way do I feel that I am being hypothetical, which I feel you are accusing me of. I can be harsh with supporters no doubt, but I have learned to recognize when they are looking for advice and when they just need to get something off their chest. Have I failed to recognize that in the past? Sure, but I feel I made it clear in this thread that I was just blowing off steam. I guess it isn't safe to do that.

 

[Eheme]

Hello

My life partner retreated when I was dx, because her demons are still locked up tight, she does not want to take the chance of them getting loose.

So I found a life coach to help me, we have self help guides and are studying them, we will start meeting next month, she will lead me in what path we take.

Take care everyone.

 

[Ogo]

Op here. Could you be more specific


There was a reason I labeled this thread as not supporter friendly. I wanted to g...

I thank you for writing what you wrote because as someone who cares for and supports someone very special to me... I have found myself at times making his requests to be left alone etc as something I've done. That's so not fair to him and my rational brain knows it's his ptsd.

I want so much to help and love him through things but at the end of the day it's only helpful and loving when he needs and wants it. When he doesn't I need to back off and silently support .... that is so hard!

We are in ways just beginning to shape our relationship and its a roller coaster. One day he's talking about things down the road for us and minutes later he says I need to be with someone else because he's not worth investing in.

I continue to ride the waves as I know he's worth every minute

 

[Coti]

Luckily my supporter has been pretty good and.. well.. supportive. But there are times where I wish they wouldn't react the way they did. An example would be when sometimes I'm just having a bad day or night. If they can't be with me then fine, I understand, and I trust that they can measure my "episodes"(*shutters* ..that word... sometimes it annoys me but it's the only word I know that sums everything up) and tell if I'd actually need any professional help or just time. But sometimes I don't like how they're so quick to say, "Call your therapist," "text your therapist," "If you don't then I will." and it gets me more nervous because then it makes it seem more serious than it really is. I know they can't know the correct ways of helping me and I have tried telling them (sometimes I don't know how) but I wish they'd just slow down... take it easy... and sit there with me. Let me go through what I'm going through and if it gets to the point that I might injure myself or someone else, then call someone.

 

[Gahoti]

I feel I made it clear in this thread that I was just blowing off steam. I guess it isn't safe to do that.

I'm sorry that it's so tempting for people to jump in with advice...I DO think that it IS good that you wrote what you did...and PLEASE don't feel like you can't write what you need to get off your chest, and out of your head, so it doesn't keep spinning and spinning around...:hug:

May I say that I am SO SORRY for the loss of your baby...it is something that people think you will "get over". I have lost a child as well, and was told that after a very FEW months, and I was floored! Obviously, they had never lost a child, and had NO IDEA of what kind of pain it is to lose SO much, SO quickly. Sometimes, no matter how long it has been, the sorrow will come up, and feel like it's going to strangle you. I know, and I care...VERY DEEPLY! :hug:

Spouses can be hardheaded, and they want to get things "fixed" and want us to move on, seemingly not wanting to accept the reality that it's NOT going to happen. You have EVERY reason to be able to have silence when you desperately need it. I hope he will get a clue...maybe once in a while? I'm sure you have told him every thing that you said in your first post, otherwise he could just read it. But, he still wouldn't get it, and I am sorry for that.

Sending peace, and blessings your way...hopefully you will get some respite...:hug: