"I'm sorry. I'll try to be safer next time. I love you."
Wow. Can't believe he assumed there'd be a "next time". After all that.
Here's my take. I'm not a lawyer, so I can't say what the law says. I can give my ethical take though.
When you told him to "stop", he should have pulled out. You didn't tell him to "freeze", so anyone with an IQ capable of being registered should know that "stop" means pulling-out. Amazing how people like to play dumb in these situations. Unfortunately, when you said, "Whatever, finish", whether you meant it that way or not, it would be regarded as a green-light to finish, and a form of re-giving consent, after it was initially taken away. It's like, for a moment, staying inside, when you said stop, he is going against your consent (ie rape), but pretending perhaps to not understand your actual meaning. Or maybe he really didn't. So in legal terms, he may have an out. We know that's crap, but we can't prove it. Telling him he can go on and finish though, in a court, would totally destroy your case, even though the not immediately pulling out part is rape, the court would take into consideration you apparently gave your consent almost immediately afterwards. Even though you knew you were meaning it as, "Well, go ahead, if you insist on being an asshole when you know I don't want it." He wanted sex, so he'd just take it at face value as grudging consent, which technically it is.
He's definitely a creep for then deliberately making the sex really rough to punish you, after you've given consent, so that he is "acting out a rape" with consent. I think a lot of us have experienced that kind of thing when sex occurs after an argument with a boyfriend, and we see it as 'make-up sex" but he makes it ultra-aggressive, like a rape, and gets away with it because it was consensual. In retrospect, what we could have done was say "stop" at that point where it became too aggressive (though often we are scared he will make it worse). If he continued then, it would legally be rape, however we might also get the crap kicked out of us, which is a tough call to make.
The part that I definitely, personally consider to be rape, from an ETHICAL point of view (not a legal one, as the law might not consider it rape, even though it is definitely considered wrong by society) is PENETRATING YOU WITHOUT A CONDOM when you had specifically stated that sex with you was NEVER TO OCCUR without one. You had specifically stated, and he had AGREED (though his agreement is not necessary) that your consent was only given if he was wearing a condom. Therefore, if he has sex with you without a condom, without telling you, or having your agreement before hand, and not by "accident", he is having NONCONSENSUAL SEX with you. And THAT is the definition of rape. At least ETHICALLY, regardless of what the law might say.
I've spoken with a lot of people about this very thing, and it amazes me that they can't follow the logical progression and consider it as rape. If rape is non-consensual sex, and you have specifically stated you DO NOT CONSENT to sex without a condom, if he has sex with you without a condom, without your knowledge, he is engaging in non-consensual sex, which is rape.
But from the moment that you are aware he is not wearing a condom and verbally allow him to continue, it is no longer rape. The part before that is.
But a court of law might not see it that way. Because ethics, morality, justice are not the same thing as law.
I feel for you, because he is a douchebag, and there is nothing you can do about it.
