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Sexual Assault was i sexually assaulted?

bigbug123

Not Active
ive only told one person in my life about this and she was very validating and supportive about it but i can't stop doubting myself and i need outside opinions. when i was around 4 or 5 my cousin (younger than me by a few months) took me into a dark room and started "french" kissing me for at least a couple minutes. this happened at least two times that i remember within the time i was visiting his house. i had no idea what was happening at the time and managed to block this out for most of my childhood until middle school where i found myself unable to deny that this had actually happened and wasn't a dream. i felt immense shame and guilt about it, and even thought for awhile that he had raped me before i figured out what rape actually was. i feel like i very much have reacted to this like it was a sexual assault, but with him also being a child who might not have known what was going on either im just not sure. does this count as sexual assault? i still see him every couple of years and i don't think we've ever had a full conversation since we were kids (both 19 now). i don't know what he remembers and it makes me sick imagining it so i try not to think about it. thx in advance for any replies.
 
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