Was my therapist now my best friend

[ms spock]

I feel so pathetic but what you said is exactly the way I feel.

You are not alone. I still think of that time and cringe, and it had so many bad effects on me.

It feels good to hear you understand how it happened because it just seems so pathetic to me.

Hey I feel/felt that way. You are so not alone with this.

This is not me, I’m not this person but here I am.

When you grew up and had so many unmet needs of course you can easily hooked into this. It is millions of years of hard wired human connectedness that is in you. Anyone like us is so, so, so vulnerable to this type of exploitation.

I felt like I hit the jackpot when she asked me and now I wish I never met her but the pull is still there.

I so totally get this.

I can’t believe that people so truly understand.

Oh there are many, many, many people who get it, unfortunately.

 

[ThisLifeIsBeautiful]

@Bird33 hmmm.... you used to be able to send messages. I'm recently back here... but it's been a long time. Maybe that feature is gone. Please know I'm thinking about you though and that I can understand how painful this must be. I think @Sideways reply was spot on too. I will keep checking in on this thread. We are here for you <3

 

[LuckiLee]

Do you realize this thread is a year and a half old? And you were having problems with this for two years prior to posting here?

I think you need people in real life to help you get out of this situation. I'd take up new T's offer to report this woman. She is causing more and more problems for you. She needs to be stopped!! If you can't/won't someone else should.

If my guy was dealing with this situation? Id definitely report the whackadoo!!

Good luck. Be strong!

 

[Bird33]

@ms spock Thank you. You said you totally get the part where I felt so lucky but wish I never met her but still feel the pull. I wish I understood why but i appreciate that you get it and have been there. I’m so sorry so many have had similar experiences. It is so sad actually that people we are supposed to trust and help us take advantage.

@ThisLifeIsBeautiful thsnk you so much for everything. It has been so helpful.

@Sideways Yes your right I need to get through tomorrow because we always hang on Wednesday’s we both have it off. One day at time. I’m just sad.

@hithere everything you said makes so much sense. And I’m sorry you had a similar experience. I know we are more vulnerable and I’m sure my past abuse doesn’t help the situation. At times I am angry that this could happen again. I just wanted some help and thought I was so lucky. Why did you feel you needed a break from the trauma therapy?

@blackemerald1 and @Catlovers141 thank you for your support

@LuckiLee i know it has been a long time and that is part of my shame. I don’t want to ruin her life. I know it’s ridiculous but I really got to know her husband and child. I am working with my therapist and I have been talking more with my husband and sister.

Tomorrow will be tough because we always hang out. I am planning on going to hot yoga bc that always helps and then I am going kayaking with another friend.

 

[LuckiLee]

How would this possibly ruin HER life? She's the one who should be ashamed of herself. Not you.

 

[Sideways]

I am planning on going to hot yoga bc that always helps and then I am going kayaking with another friend.

Excellent plan. Love every part of that plan.

 

[Bird33]

How would this possibly ruin HER life? She's the one who should be ashamed of herself. Not you.

I don’t want her to lose her license. And it would affect her marriage and her child. They don’t know.

 

[LuckiLee]

Maybe she should lose her license?!?

Three and a half years of playing with your mental health. Deserves a consequence.

 

[Bird33]

Maybe she should lose her license?!?

Maybe but sadly I do still care about her. I know it’s f*cked up!

 

[ThisLifeIsBeautiful]

Excellent plan. Love every part of that plan.

I wholeheartedly second this post! :) really awesome job staying busy with other things @Bird33 . and for opening up to people close to you more. you deserve support around this. you have it here, but tangible supports would be great.

 

[ThisLifeIsBeautiful]

Maybe but sadly I do still care about her. I know it’s f*cked up!

You have all the time to process this and choose what to do at your speed, or not at all. You have all the power now. there's this quote i love --> "And then one day, I found my own light, my own inner-ganster, i snatched my power back, and the game changed." author unknown.

one day at a time :)

 

[Bird33]

You have all the time to process this and choose what to do at your speed, or not at all. You have all the power now. there's this quote i love --> "And then one day, I found my own light, my own inner-ganster, i snatched my power back, and the game changed." author unknown.

one day at a time :)

That’s an awesome quote that hopefully will pertain to me someday! Right now one day at a time. I’m not feeling so strong. She just emailed me.