N
Natasha
I met this professor before he started teaching us at the cafe on campus where I used to work. We would have a small talk when I made him coffee. Eventually, I quit working there and started working as a barista in another cafe, not on campus. Once he saw me in one of the study rooms in the department where I was studying and he came in. This was the first time we met outside that cafe on campus. He said: " Since you stopped working at that cafe, I started making coffee by myself". At that time I didn't think what he said was weird and took it as a compliment. I thought he was very friendly.
We started his module. Once I got a very low score on a test and got very worried I went to him to ask how the questions should be done. He explained to me and after that, I asked him for a book with solutions. He later sent me an email with it. In the email, he said that I did the hard question correctly and that coffee can help me for better concentration. I agreed with that and after that he said. "I should not only teach you physics, but also coffee drinking" to which I didn't respond because I found it inappropriate. He emailed me 2 days later again speaking about coffee. I thought I am misinterpreting things and replied.
That professor and I would meet sometimes in the department and have a few words. He came maybe 2 more times in that study room, but only when I was alone, not when my friends were there. Things got weird again once in one of his workshops on a Friday. He came to me and said “ You are dressed like you are going to a party. Are you going out tonight?” I felt extremely uncomfortable. I said “Haha, yeah” and continue to do my work waiting for him to go somewhere else, which he did. I heard the 2 students behind be saying that was very inappropriate. I was very mad that day at him, but I thought again that I am misinterpreting things. The Monday after he came to me in that study room when my friends left and offered to make me a coffee his way (which he has told me before how he does it). I said “ok” and gave him my cup. He asked me to come to the teachers’ kitchen where students are usually not allowed and said that it’s ok since there is nobody there. We were having a small talk and eventually, he said: “ You look very different from Friday. With that dress, with that charming dress.” I got too uncomfortable after hearing this, but I was trying to remain calm and I said that I regret wearing this dress at uni. And then he asked me again: “ Did you go out that night?” I felt even more uncomfortable after this. I said a few more words so that I don’t leave things awkward and left.
Two days later I told the Undergraduate coordinator (we are friends) about this I was only seeking for advice, but she told me she can't keep this to herself. She and another member of the academic staff made a discussion with the professor and told him not to communicate with me. He is also not going to teach more - he is only going to do research. I didn't want to cause him so much trouble and I feel guilty for not telling him anything first by myself. It's been almost a month since this happened and I can't stop thinking about it. Every time a see coffee I think about him and what happened as he was encouraging me to drink it. It is hard as I work as a barista. Also, it is very hard to study for his modules and we have exams soon on them. Could you please help me to overcome this?
We started his module. Once I got a very low score on a test and got very worried I went to him to ask how the questions should be done. He explained to me and after that, I asked him for a book with solutions. He later sent me an email with it. In the email, he said that I did the hard question correctly and that coffee can help me for better concentration. I agreed with that and after that he said. "I should not only teach you physics, but also coffee drinking" to which I didn't respond because I found it inappropriate. He emailed me 2 days later again speaking about coffee. I thought I am misinterpreting things and replied.
That professor and I would meet sometimes in the department and have a few words. He came maybe 2 more times in that study room, but only when I was alone, not when my friends were there. Things got weird again once in one of his workshops on a Friday. He came to me and said “ You are dressed like you are going to a party. Are you going out tonight?” I felt extremely uncomfortable. I said “Haha, yeah” and continue to do my work waiting for him to go somewhere else, which he did. I heard the 2 students behind be saying that was very inappropriate. I was very mad that day at him, but I thought again that I am misinterpreting things. The Monday after he came to me in that study room when my friends left and offered to make me a coffee his way (which he has told me before how he does it). I said “ok” and gave him my cup. He asked me to come to the teachers’ kitchen where students are usually not allowed and said that it’s ok since there is nobody there. We were having a small talk and eventually, he said: “ You look very different from Friday. With that dress, with that charming dress.” I got too uncomfortable after hearing this, but I was trying to remain calm and I said that I regret wearing this dress at uni. And then he asked me again: “ Did you go out that night?” I felt even more uncomfortable after this. I said a few more words so that I don’t leave things awkward and left.
Two days later I told the Undergraduate coordinator (we are friends) about this I was only seeking for advice, but she told me she can't keep this to herself. She and another member of the academic staff made a discussion with the professor and told him not to communicate with me. He is also not going to teach more - he is only going to do research. I didn't want to cause him so much trouble and I feel guilty for not telling him anything first by myself. It's been almost a month since this happened and I can't stop thinking about it. Every time a see coffee I think about him and what happened as he was encouraging me to drink it. It is hard as I work as a barista. Also, it is very hard to study for his modules and we have exams soon on them. Could you please help me to overcome this?
Last edited by a moderator:
. Have peace of mind that you maybe protected someone else who didn’t know or have the bravery to tell someone else. 
