What are dissociative parts? what is ifs (internal family systems) ?

[Swift]

Hey all,
I'm not really sure I understand dissociative "parts" as a theory.
I think the diary function is great, and that's where a lot of the interesting topics come up for me.
So: what are dissociative parts? What is IFS? Has anyone got a good way of understanding these things?
Quite frankly I'm lost, but any input is appreciated.
( Ps @Sophy, @Sietz, @Innordinate - this is what we were talking about, I said I'd make a thread, and here it is.)

 

[ILoveLife]

From what I understand, from reading about it and sharing experiences with others, it quite varies from person to person.
Most people that have dissociated parts have parts stuck at the age of abuse/abuses, some protectors, critics, etc.
In IFS there are some classes of parts: Exiles, protectors, firefighters, managers and the Self.
In other strategies, like structural dissociation, there are other classes that I'm forgetting right now.

I hope @shimmerz and @Congruency reply to this thread.

Sorry I'm not most helpful today.

 

[Deleted member 47099]

Quite frankly I'm lost

Haha yup me too :roflmao:
I just go with what works.

Apart from IFS there's also DNMS (Developmental Needs Meeting Strategy), Ego-State Therapy, Inner-Child Therapy, Self-Parenting Therapy and probly several more I'm not even aware of.

Two books I like are:
DNMS Book « DNMS Institute (tho I don't have my own copy :( )
and:
Dead Link Removed
and I agree that the book @Sietz recommended looks really good too:
Dead Link Removed
For me, parts work/ IFS is actually quite hard to explain :)
This is my (poor) attempt:

Unless someone already has DID and has "parts", then IFS can seem quite weird/ uncomfortable/ construed at first.
I mean if we don't have DID, we *don't* have a little inner kid living inisde us, right? It's not like it's a "thing" unless there is DID involved.

So, for me working with the concept of an inner child is more something you need to approach like poetry - it's more like it's a "metaphor", if that makes *any* sense.

For example - in the DBT wise mind exercise, where you use your rational and your emotional brain - it's not like you have TWO brains, right? And it's not like there's 2 "parts" of your brain.
But most of us can *feel* that it does *feel* like the rational bit and the emotional bit are kinda "distinct".
And it can be like the rational and emotional brain can get into "arguments" like "OMG I'm having a panic attack, everything is scary and unsafe" vs "No, everything's safe it's just a panic attack, calm down" vs "No, no, no, no everything is scary and unsafe it's horrible" vs "OMG, just shut up it's just a panic attack!!!"

So there's not *actually* 2 parts of our brain or 2 parts of ourselves that are "arguing" - it just *feels* that way.

But by looking at it like a conversation, for example between a little kid (emotional brain) and a kind, compassionate, caring, protective parent (rational brain) you can actually get the conversation to work *better* and you can access much healthier patterns.

If you look at the emotional/ scared part of your brain *like* it's a little, freaked-out helpless kid, then it's actually *easier* to find more constructive inner responses.

Instead of just internally yelling at that part of your brain to "shut up and stop being so stupid!!" the metaphor of a little kid and a caring parent actually kinda "reminds" you that yelling at a scared kid has the OPPOSITE effect of what you want and that by taking 10 mins to calm/ soothe your "inner kid" (ie the emotional part of your brain) you will get that part of your brain to calm down, settle down and start being functional again.

So really, it's just a metaphor. And it feels odd/ clumsy at first, but because it's so effective and works so well and does such amazing healing work, most ppl get the hang of it *really* quickly and love working with it. It yields absolutely amazing results and works on levels where no other therapy approach seems to be able to yield any results.

Does that make any sense? :rolleyes:
Or just add to the confusion? :unsure::whistling:

 

[ILoveLife]

@Sophy, IFS is not just inner child therapy. Its internal family.

 

[MyWillow]

The Theory of Structural Dissociation makes most sense to me. It says that essentially children are not born with integrated personalities. The left (logical) and right (emotional) brain develop at different rates. When a child is faced with overwhelming stress AND is not supported by his or her caretakers the emotional parts (EP) can split off, holding unbearable emotions and memories, and failing to integrate. Meanwhile the going on with life or apparently normal self (ANP) shoves all that to one side and gets on with life.

It’s when the EP start leaking through the facade of the ANP is when shit starts to go South. That’s where I feel like I’m at - flashbacks, thoughts that aren’t mine, nightmares, emotion that is too strong for the current event and even co-conscious experiences.

IFS is simply a way of relating to the biological theory as I understand it. Generally speaking one EP and one ANP = PTSD (ie trauma in adult hood), multiple EP and one ANP = “complex PTSD” and multiple EP and multiple ANP = DID.

Janina Fisher explains things very well.

Hope that helps.

 

[Deleted member 47099]

@Sophy, IFS is not just inner child therapy. Its internal family.

I think there's heaps of different forms out there. I agree that IFS = Internal Family.
But before IFS existed, there were people doing Inner Child Therapy and stuff like Ego State Therapy too.

 

[ILoveLife]

Ok. Inner child therapy is not necessarily to treat a dissociated child part. Nor does it connect to IFS.
In IFS we treat parts that work like a family, with equal dynamics.
Some of those parts can be children but its not mandatory.

Seems like there's some confusion here.
Just want to clear it up.

 

[Deleted member 47099]

Seems like there's some confusion here.

Yup, tons :roflmao:

I guess for me, if someone's never heard of IFS and thinking in terms of parts, and if they don't have DID, it can seem really :confused::cautious::O_o::wacky:

But I find most people can intuitively get their head around the concept of "an inner kid" or thinking in terms of "rational brain" vs "emotional brain".

So I use that as the super-basic, first step to "how the heck does this work?"

And from there on in, I think the different therapy approaches (IFS, DNMS, Ego-State, Inner Child Therapy) yield different results and everyone's inner world is different anyway, and... I dunno :rolleyes:

I guess all *I* can offer is a kind of metaphor of kinda how it works plus saying it's nothing "weird" about it plus saying try it out, it's definitely worth a try and it can be really, really healing.

 

[ILoveLife]

I'm not really well today but I'm going to try here and explain something that seems to be the initial confusion. And going back on topic to the initial question.

Parts works in a spectrum, on one end you can have or feel no separated parts at all, on the other you have full blown dissociated parts that work as separate personalities from the core identity.

IFS stands somewhere in the middle, working similarly to ego states but in a family dynamics sorta way. That's the creator's idea anyway.

There are bunch of terms differing from treatment to treatment on how to call and categorize those parts, in IFS the ones who hold trauma are the exiles and the rest are the ways we learned to cope and deal inside with our worldly issues.

Hope this helps somewhat.

 

[Deleted member 47099]

That's a great explanation @Sietz !

Hope you feel better soon :hug:
Are you doing self-care and getting some rest?

 

[ILoveLife]

Are you doing self-care and getting some rest?

Yeah. Thanks :)

 

[Abstract]

My brain isn't working terribly well these days so can only give a vague reply. Experts disagree and a lot of this is theory or down to personal experience and what works for people as well as how they experience their inner world. IFS seems to help a lot of people but is controversial to an extent. Very basically it names the different aspects of the self and names their roles. Much in the way a family functions. Some experts believe it can emphasise internal divisions and causes psuedo DID situations for some. Personally I have avoided it for that reason. Maybe if I felt less split or more it would be different.
Internal Family Systems Therapy

The other theory that may be helpful to read up on is Structural Dissociation Theory. Personally, I have found that life changing for me as it deals with the whole spectrum of experiences in a way that felt true for me. Don't have the concentration to read through this now but here is some info:
Trauma Information Pages, Articles: Ellert Nijenhuis, et al (2004)

Primary Structural Dissociation

Secondary Structural Dissociation

Tertiary Structural Dissociation

Other people find it much more useful to think of the "inner child" which is essentially just a part of us - our experiences at a certain age. Describing it this way can help engage both the feelings you had at that age and what you still need related to that, now, for you.