What Are Some Of The Excuses People Use To Justify Abuse?

[DogwoodTree]

"It's my job as your father (step-dad) to teach you this stuff."

"You're such a goody-two-shoes for not wanting this."

"You're a prude like your grandmother--loosen up already."

"You have to take care of this because no one else will."

 

[Deleted member 29961]

i also got "you should've behaved better and not been so much trouble". really huh?

I can relate to this one, out of me and my five siblings, I was always told tat I was the best behaved but no one could answer why I was the most often and most severely punished one.

 

[Deleted member 29961]

"I'll give you a reason to cry." and once you started to cry, "I'm gonna beat your Ass until you stop crying."

Gotta love the mixed signals.

 

[Lionheart]

"I am doing you a favor" is the one excuse that I got told a lot of times and in my abusers sick mind, he probably believed he was helping me or at least was trying to convince himself of it.

However it is my opinion that, Psychology majors who abuse children know exactly what they are doing and the devastation they are causing. With friends doing me "favors" like he did, who needs friends? Grrrrrrrr :mad:

 

[InvisibleSun]

"she gave you a roof over your head and food in your belly. you should be thankful!"

This is the one that really gets under my skin..like caregivers are doing some extraordinary deed by providing necessities for children who are unable to provide for themselves. That's kinda the point of becoming a parent..I've always thought that to be a lame ass bullshit cop-out by caregivers who just want to act like assholes.

Another personal favorite of mine is "we're doing this because we love you.." (really?!) or "That's just how he/she is" (Umm..and that makes it okay because?!)

All I have to say to that is..karma's a bitch..

 

[ground crew]

When asked by her adult children why she hit the kids so much, she said she had not hit us enough. She does not really remember the incidents anymore. I don't think she will be hurting any more kids. My kids ran away pretty fast as I recall, that hurt her. I tried not to be amused.

 

[Queen Boudica]

My ex - "These things happen", "It bothers him he did those things, but he'll have to live with it for the rest of his life". Couldn't remember the abuse so when we went to marriage counselling asked me to write a list of every incident and as soon as he saw the first on the list where he had punched me in the stomach and dragged me by the hair and neck onto the bed, on top of me shouting in my face and raped me - look of glee in his eyes and saying it was my fault because I had thrown a folder (which I hadn't). As for my mother, well she was my mother and had every right of course because she was my mother and we were so bad as 3 and 4 year olds. Whatever.

 

[illusionist]

I have heard this so often over the years Lizio.....parents saying they are their mum/ dad and they will bring up their kids the way they want to, that's their right!......Oh yeah? Do they really believe that?

 

[Mit]

In hospital, age 13. "If you can't do it to yourself for me, the nurses will when you get back on the ward. Or I can help you do it now. Would you like me to help you?". ....yes.

 

[Changing4Best]

I looked at another man.

I did something he asked me to do, he didn't like the way I did it, so he put his karate foot up to my neck and threatened to kill me.

I took a day off from him, went out for a long ride in my car. I needed some time to think. I didn't tell him I was leaving or when I would be back. When I got back, he was so angry with me that he tried to choke me. Just about when I thought I would pass out, he let go of my neck. He also thought I had cheated on him while I was gone, so that was his "excuse" for his behavior.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

For me, my mother was "cleaning" me. That's not what she was doing, she was r*ping me.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

@Jigsaw Puzzle, I identify with that crying thing. When I was sick my mother would tell me "don't cry, if you cry that makes me cry" I was seven and I was in pain and told not to cry. Incidentally, she NEVER cried.