General What are the nice things you do for your sufferer?

[Never_falter2]

What are the things you do to show your (male) sufferer you love and support him? If you are male: how does your spouse show she loves you?

This is not a sex question. I am just asking about men, because my husband could show his love for me by watching downton abbey with mer go shopping for clothes, but that would be lousy ways to show a man your love... especially since he hates crowds and shopping malls.

 

[Sweetpea76]

For mine the old adage is true... the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. We both love to cook together, and we often take turns cooking for each other. However, I also can, bake, and make candy. I keep him stocked up on goodies, and he says I spoil him rotten. I don't think he's bought a loaf of bread or jelly in 5 years.

 

[dulcia]

My guy loves when I cook for him, too. Especially breakfast because he just doesn't end up eating it when I'm around.

 

[dulcia]

I guess that wasn't really the question lol. Sorry about that.

 

[Sighs]

My man loves to feel looked after. Little things like making his cup of tea for him, running his bath for him, bringing him his dinner. It is very old fashioned and sometimes irritates me because he very rarely does those things for me, but it makes him feel adored.

 

[Muted]

Make his f*cking dinner.

 

[Never_falter2]

Thanks, guys. You know, my guy sometimes has odd ideas and one of this ideas (and only lately I learned how bad it is for him) is the idea that he is fat. I say odd idea, because he is not fat, just a bit pudgy... and I am okay with this... I hope that at least you understand this... because I had a number of discussion lately (mostly on German cooking boards where they blamed me of trying my to make my poor husband loose weight and thought I was trolling and a fake anyway, because who takes a backpack with snacks for jogging... so that was me). *sigh* My own family member told me she does not understand why I suddenly decided I want to make him loose weight... while I did not decide this... okay, at least she later understood when I explained it, but why does everybody understand "I want to force my poor innocent hubby to lose weight" when I just want to support him). It was his idea. I just wanna show my support. Please give me back my faith in the human race and tell me you understand what I am talking about. One does not have a rocket scientist to understand or is this me who explained it so lousy?
Anyway, I wrote I was searching for "manly" snacks, not a word he uses by the way. It is just how I described it, because he does not like this typical woman food like green salat, cucumber, alfalfa sprots and so on. He is a guy who likes lasagna, chili, bacon and so on. I should have stopped asking for manly snacks when they ridiculed me on one board but I am pretty stubborn and did not and had the great pleasure of being ridiculed on several boards, who also called my husband names, questioned his manliness, said he was like a picky child who does not want to eat his veggies and in need of a shrink. *cry* He does not read on any of those boards but I am so sorry I gave those people the chance to ridicule him.

You know, sometimes doing something nice for him is also something I need to do for myself... because there are many things I might not be able to change or help him with but this is at least something I can do. There needs to be something I can do, because I do not want to feel so helpless, you understand?

And I was a lot of motivated and I still am. I do most of the cooking and will cook healthy for him and have a few recipe ideas... more needed... but now when I think about this recipe ideas I remember "oh, yes, a girl, who thinks my hubby is like an unmanly man-child suggested this too".

So Ibam in a place where I need to find something nice I can do for him for my own wellbeing.
So sorry for the long rant! Do you have a cool, manly recipe for my guy? Jam or bread recipes sound great... but please low calorie.

No, I have no idea why this is dragging me down like this. Yep, I understand it is pretty minor. I think it is because I was already in a low place before and feeling like a failure as a wife and like my family was different from other people, then came up with a productive idea and got thousands of snarky comments.

@dulcia: You don't have to be sorry.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Why not make the chili and lasagna that he likes, but tweak them to make them healthier? With a low carb noodle substitution, you can make a pretty tasty lasagna that's easier on the waistline. Instead of hamburger for the chili, try leaner cuts of stew meat, or even ground turkey or chicken. If he won't eat a regular green salad, try making a chef salad with ham, cheese, and bacon crumbles.

Sometimes it's easier to eat healthy if you just find the healthy versions of the food you already love. I eat low-carb when I'm taking off weight, and they have whole websites dedicated to making low carb versions of your favorite foods. No, it's not as good as the full carb version, but it's way better than just eating rabbit food.

 

[Never_falter2]

What would that low carb noodle substitution be?

Here is the recipe for one of his favorite chilis. Could some of you adapt this:

Minced meat from pork
Kidney beans
Tomato sauce (or tomato from the garden if it is tomato season)
Potatoe cubes
Sour cream
Corn
Onions
Bell peppers
garlic
Red hot Chilis
Water mixed with red grape juice
Oregano, cumin, chili sauce

 

[Never_falter2]

I heard that in the USA you can buy minced meat from chicken or turkey. This is not sold at the supermarket in my country but I think you can ask a butcher to do chicken minced meat for you. Or do you just take little cubes from turkey or chicken?

 

[Sweetpea76]

I actually have a meat grinder I use at home. I think it tastes better to grind boneless skinless chicken breasts than to buy the prepackaged stuff. If you can find a grinder, that may be a good option if it's not available where you live. I'd say a food processor would probably do the trick too.

 

[grimalkin]

That chili doesn't really have anything in it that's *not* healthy, to be honest. Pork is a fairly lean meat (if you use loin or other leaner cuts, or brown it and then skim off/drain the fat), try to limit the sour cream (I assume it's a topping?) to an actual serving (like 1 tablespoon), or use plain greek yogurt instead of sour cream. Potatoes aren't bad, either, really. They're a starch, but also a vegetable, just make sure they're not the bulk of the recipe. To make them have more nutrients, keep the skins on.

Fries/chips can be baked instead of fried - I love homemade - slice up the potatoes, leave the skins on, toss with olive oil, a bit of salt and pepper, and bake. Turn them while they're baking so they get browned on more than one side. Or, make sweet potato fries/chips the same way. You can also bake crisps, instead of premade, fried crisps - slice them very thin, again toss with olive oil and a bit of salt and pepper, and put them on a sheet singly and not touching to bake.

Lasagna is still wonderful with ground/chopped turkey or chicken (or, again, using leaner pork and beef), or a turkey or chicken sausage. Ricotta can be found low fat, or, if it's not available around you, it's incredibly easy (and tastes better!) to make. Again, lasagna doesn't have all that much that's bad in it - there's low fat/part skim mozzarella, and parmesan packs a nice punch for little fat. If you're worried about carbs, substitute half the lasagna noodles with (sliced the long way) zuchini. Or, find a high-protein pasta if it's available there. Or do both. :) Personally, I'm not worried about fat too much, so I try to figure out how to get more protein, not worry about the fat, and see how I can substitute some of the carbs.

A food processor works wonders for mincing chicken or turkey.

Carbs aren't necessarily bad, either. It's about moderation - pick your carbs wisely. My rule is I don't eat a carb unless it's accompanied by protein and/or fiber - so a snack for me will be an apple (carb & fiber) with peanut butter (protein) - or if it has some other nutritional value - like a baked potato with the skin on, and topped with veggies. Or, high-vitamin, high fiber fruits. And fat isn't a dirty word in food. Fat provides flavor, and with fat, protein, and fiber, it's the key to actually feeling full, for longer (and our brains need fat to survive!).

Portion control may be a good way to go. Without making it about portion control, if that makes sense. If I was making, say, lasagna - I'd make enough for two (plus leftovers, if needed). I'd make it a point to say we need the leftovers for lunch or whatever. Serve a green salad (or an alternative if he flat out refuses to eat salad - maybe a gazpacho?), and have a healthy dessert planned (something low sugar with some protein). Sometimes portion control is about timing - we eat too much, too fast, and don't let our bodies tell us we're full. So linger and enjoy.