What Are We Afraid Of?

[Philippa]

I'm also afraid that my mother will die and no one will notice she's gone for a few weeks and they will find her body all decomposed. I also fear this for myself at times.

This wouldn't happen though as she still works and has friends who would notice she hasn't called or come into work for a while.

 

[Philippa]

No. A friend of mine died in one. But I was scared of flying before. And that fear of mine is a consequence of my abuse and experiences of sudden losses, not my friend dying in the plane crash.

Ah, ok thanks for clarifying prime-no.

 

[lisamarie]

Why don't we just say "EVERYTHING", that might be easier, haha. No, really, here are my biggies:

1) spiders - I have had a spider PHOBIA since I was a child....my house was on the edge of the woods so we had spiders all over the house....inside and outside. I don't want to make it sound like an infestation, but it was a regular (say, weekly or more) occurrence to find a spider inside the house. Outside, forget it....during the summer they would be all around the front doorway (picture me RUNNING THROUGH the doorway to get into the house, OMG, makes my blood run cold), they have FALLEN on me from the trees, etc. Ugh I'm all itchy just thinking about it!!! Luckily the house I live in now doesn't have that problem. I think I've found maybe two spiders in the house in the whole five years I've been here....only spiders I don't care about are the REALLY tiny ones, like, the ones smaller than a pencil eraser that you can barely see.

2) driving/car accidents - I got into a car accident (not even that bad, but it was pretty scary as I almost went head first into a pole) about three years ago and ever since then, constantly, when I am driving through an intersection (it happened at an intersection) I will imagine that my car is getting hit by another car. I guess maybe it is a mild flashback. I mean its not enough for me to stop driving but I easily get into a state of panic while I'm driving, I do a lot of deep breathing. It helps somewhat. Also I will not drive in the snow, and I will drive like 10mph in the rain. I don't even care, I think people drive way too fast in poor conditions!!! Its dangerous!!! I am typically borderline panic attack while driving in the rain even, like, just tensed up on the steering wheel, horrible. The Klonopin helps about 50% I'd say.

3) "getting caught" - I have a few parts of my life that I have hidden from my family (i.e., that my boyfriend is in prison) and I am always afraid that they will find out and torture me for it. Like psychologically torture. I hate that my life has to be compartmentalized but I really can't tell them or I'd never hear the end of it.

4) house getting broken into/someone being in the house when I get home - if I am in my house alone, I regularly stalk thru the house with a knife and/or pepper spray and/or stun gun looking for someone in the house. I have a fixation on the other bedroom and always think that there is someone in there, in the closet especially. Many days when I am alone here I operate with the ASSUMPTION that someone is IN that room....its insane. I can't tell you how many times I have called someone at night saying that I think there is someone in the house and have them stay on the phone with me so I can investigate. Other times I will be sleeping and wake up in a state of panic thinking that someone is in the house. At times in the past it was a somewhat valid fear, as my psycho ex was doing a lot of threatening to kick my door in and stuff like that, but more than that it is just hypervigilance I think. One of the worst parts of PTSD because it means that I typically don't feel safe in my own house.

I think those are the four big ones. I think that's enough, LOL.

 

[Philippa]

Yeah, I still have one about there being some freak under my bed waiting to pounce on me when I'm asleep. It stems from that urban myth about a woman who fell asleep and woke up to her puppy licking her hand, and it kept happening until she got up to go to the bathroom and someone had scrawled "dead dogs don't lick hands" in her lipstick on the mirror. That one stayed with me, along with the boogie man stories from my childhood. SOoooo many of those fairy tales and rhymes are NOT stuff that should be told to kids.

I also am afraid of rats gnawing my face off while I sleep. The last place I stayed in before I found my new home, there were rats in the ceiling, and I swear I sat up til very early morning hyper vigilant of them finally creating a hole big enough to crawl through. I could hear at least one diligently gnawing through the wall cavity. It was only a matter of time.:eek:

 

[Deleted member 10686]

-I'm terrified of heights. I'm especially scared of ferris wheels, I'm not sure why. I've never been on one and to this day will cry if someone tries to make me get on one of those beasts.

-I have a fear that I am going to go deaf. This is one reason I take an interest in ASL, so I can communicate for when I do...is this a weird fear?

-I'm scared of spiders and scorpions, but I think I have good reason to be. They are creepy and I can't tell which ones are dangerous.

 

[Philippa]

It could happen, when you get older, but also younger people are going deaf these days from listening to loud music too much.

I did go deaf totally in one ear and partially in the other a few years ago, and it was scary, even though a few years prior to that I was so sensitive to noise and the noise of the world around me that I might have welcomed it. When it happened though, it actually was quite scary. So I don't think that is a weird thing to fear. Loss of our faculties is probably up there in most peoples minds.

I forgot the biggest one for me, is getting old...all my faculties diminishing and having to wear diapers or having someone wipe my ass because I am shaking too much to do it, or just too physically weak.

 

[Deleted member 10686]

I forgot the biggest one for me, is getting old...all my faculties diminishing and having to wear diapers or having someone wipe my ass because I am shaking too much to do it, or just too physically weak.

I am terrified to grow old and get to the point of needing a lot of assistance as well. Especially assistance in the bathroom.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am afraid of flying, mom was killed in a plane crash. People I love dying. I have lost my son to a motorcycle accident. I am phobic of frogs, don't know why. Afraid of getting dementia. Afraid of getting old and not being able to take care of myself. Scared of my husbands dementia. I think that about covers it.

 

[piratelady]

I am afraid of spiders...I have spider nightmares that they are in my bed and I wake up screaming and have to check the room and bed for spiders.

 

[Philippa]

I have the same thing with spiders. About three or four times in the past 8 years I have literally jumped out of bed in the middle of the night, screaming, from openign my eyes and seeing a giant spider in the corner of my room where my bed was.

When I turned the light on, there was no spider, and I could not find one after that...although I did once look up and on the ceiling there was this MASSIVE spider web! I don't know if it was really there, but I think it had to do with a "joke" my father played on me when I was a teenager, which he found terribly amusing and actually filmed my reaction secretly, from my bedroom window, without me knowing it.

He told me there was a giant spider that lived under my bedroom in the cellar. I didn't believe him at first, but then, later when I went to investigate this strange web like thing that covered the fig tree outside my bedroom window...I had to admit, I hesitated going too close to it. It really looked like a giant spider web, but it turned out to be special netting to stop birds from landing on the fig tree. How was I supposed to know that?

Ever since then, I see giant spiders in my bedroom! Parents don't realise what sort of complexes they set us up for in later life from their 'pranks'. He did stuff like that to me ALL THE TIME. Always calling me a fool and stupid and playing on my gullability.

 

[p-no]

I am afraid of flying, mom was killed in a plane crash. People I love dying. I have lost my son to a motorcycle accident. I am phobic of frogs, don't know why. Afraid of getting dementia. Afraid of getting old and not being able to take care of myself. Scared of my husbands dementia.

So sorry to hear... Tender hugs, Gizmo. :sorry:

 

[piratelady]

When I turned the light on, there was no spider, and I could not find one after that...although I did once look up and on the ceiling there was this MASSIVE spider web! I don't know if it was really there, but I think it had to do with a "joke" my father played on me when I was a teenager, which he found terribly amusing and actually filmed my reaction secretly, from my bedroom window, without me knowing it.

Ever since then, I see giant spiders in my bedroom! Parents don't realise what sort of complexes they set us up for in later life from their 'pranks'. He did stuff like that to me ALL THE TIME. Always calling me a fool and stupid and playing on my gullability.

Ugh, that's horrible that he did that to you. I agree, parents don't always realize the effects of their pranks and the comments they make. I am sorry your parents did that to you. Spiders are just...horrible. My ex eventually refused to kill them for me saying I needed to "Grow up and deal with them on my own." I was always told that spiders are good because they eat other bugs, but that didn't help my fear at all.